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Realization dawned on me. He was going to fucking whip me.
“I’m just not used to men being kind to me,” I suddenly blurted out.Eek!!!My hands covered my mouth. My face burned. It was one thing to think it. It was another to say it out loud to another person.
He lifted his eyes to mine, but he did not stop running his blade over the long, flexible wood. “Go on.”
“I…”Fuck.My eyes welled. “I sincerely thought you both left and had no intention of coming back. It’s not uncommon for that to happen to a girl like me.”
“A girl like you?” He returned his attention to the wiry twig he was preparing. “What does that even mean, rabbit?”
“I…” Why was he doing this to me! “I’m not the kind of girl people stick around for—or come back for. I’m…well, you know…”
He stilled. “What?”
“Come on, Andrew. You know what I mean. Please don’t make me say it.”
“Actually, I don’t know what you mean.”
“Not thin, not sexy, not whatever men want these days. Look, I know I’m notit, and I’m okay with that.”
He suddenly flicked his knife. It flew through the air and embedded itself in the nearest tree. He then tested the switch on his palm. It cut through the air with a sharp whistle.
“Andrew,” I whispered, warily eyeing the switch as he approached. “I said I was sorry. I’ll do whatever you want, say whatever you want. What can I do to make this better?”
“You can bend over.”
Tears spilled. “Really? You’re going to do this to me?”
He towered over me. “You either trust me or not, rabbit. You either bend over or safeword out.”
“Please,” I cried, grasping his leg in desperation. “I don’t understand why I’m being punished for you leaving. I’m not mad you left. I left because you did. It’s not that big a deal.”
“The longer you defy me, the worse it will be.”
“Goddammit,” I snarled, throwing my bound hands to the air in exasperation before slamming them on the ground at his feet in frustration. “Fine! Fucking fine! If I let you punish me for leaving after you did, will you forgive me then?”
“You already have my forgiveness, rabbit. But the thing is, Master Otis and I didn’t leave you. We were on the back deck having coffee. Did you even bother to look around the cabin before you left?”
“Ah…I…” I had not actually gone into the living room or kitchen. I just gave both rooms a cursory glance on my way out the door. In hindsight, I realized didn’t even think to go search for my clothes out there. I had never had a man do my laundry, so it didn’t occur to me that the guys would bother.
“Well?”
I shook my head, dislodging more tears. “N-no.”
“I thought not. You just assumed the worst of us because you don’t see yourself as worthy of being treated better. More important than the apology I will be taking from your ass later is the discipline you will be receiving now—for not seeing your own value. So should, in the future, you ever think you are not worthy of love and respect—a goodbye, a note, clothing—you will remember this lashing and know better. You are more than good enough, rabbit. You are loved.”
I stared at my bound hands, a little shocked by his declaration. “You speak of love,” I said quietly, “and how I deserve it, but I never get it, so what’s the point?”
Andrew crouched before me. He tilted my chin up. The way his eyes moved over my face as he gazed down at me and wiped my tears with the pad of his thumb made me want to melt into him. Instead, I settled for pressing my cheek into his hand.
“Do you know you’re mine?” he asked.
“Because you pulled my tag?”
“No. I need you to realize here and now that you and me are not done just because this retreat is over. You’re mine. Period. I am not letting you go.”
“But…I don’t understand.”
“There is nothing to understand, rabbit. Just know that I have claimed you. You are mine. Permanently. I’m not letting you go. Do I have to repeat myself a third time?”
