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He finished with a firm and resolute tone and I looked at him with admiration.
He truly means it,I thought in wonder.All of it. He regrets putting duty before everything else.
“Thank you very much for your advice, Mr. Carmichael,” I told him solemnly. “I promise you I will consider it.”
“Well, I might not be able to do much but it’s nice that I could give something back after all you did for me, Dr. Compton,” the older man grinned. “Even if it’s just advice from an old man.”
“Well, Mrs. Carmichael’s delicious sandwiches are really something else,” I laughed. “They’ve kept me alive more times than I can count!”
“And I’ll continue making them for you, Dr. Compton,” she told me quietly, her eyes shining with joy. I could see that she was really happy I found her sandwiches tasty.
I shook my head and smiled at the elderly couple. “I get delicious food and great advice from the both of you. Thank you so much.”
“We’re happy to be able to give something back, Doctor,” Mr. Carmichael said. “I hope you will think about what I said earlier. Don’t worry, though—we will be alright.”
I smiled at them both. “Yes, I will. Thank you both very much. For everything.”
* * *
It was already nine in the evening when I said goodbye to the last patient and we closed up the practice. I had barely eaten anything throughout the day, except for that delicious sandwich that Mrs. Carmichael had made for me, so I grabbed some fast food on my way home.
Doctors would always tell you to eat healthy, but rarely did we follow our own advice on that—we would what was available when we could and sometimes, fast food was the best you could do.
I even survived on instant noodles for most of my residency training, I thought with a grimace.It’s a wonder my kidneys are still functioning!
Thinking back to the Carmichaels, I had to admit that Mr. Carmichael had been on to something. In fact, he was most probably right.
I had gone home to Georgetown with the intention of attending my little sister’s wedding and just fly back to London. I hadn’t felt like I was missing anything but now that I was back in London, I had been feeling like there was a part of me that I had left back in Georgetown.
I feltincomplete.
Like I was missing the other half of my heart.
Amanda,I thought miserably.Half of my heart stayed in Georgetown with Amanda.
It had been two weeks since I arrived in London and there was not a single day that I didn’t think of her and all the happy moments we shared. When I closed my eyes, I could almost see her smiling at me, her sea green eyes shining brightly. When I laid down in bed, I would unknowingly reach for the empty space beside me, hoping to find her there.
It was foolishness but it was the goddamned truth.
I missed her. I missed her so much!
I took out the picture of us in our prom finery and stared at the photo. I always kept it with me in my chest pocket, tucked under my white coat or jacket, so it would be with me, close to my heart wherever I went.
She is always with me. I carry her in my heart all the time…But this picture, for some reason it brings me closer to her. It is my only physical link to the happiness I felt with Amanda.
I never thought I would enjoy the simple life but I did—with her, Buddy, Grandma Margaret, all my old friends and Mom. In London, I didn’t have friends—I had colleagues.
Those two things weren’t exactly the same. Somehow, I never really managed to gain a foothold here... Maybe because deep down I always knew that this was not my home.
I was deep into my lonely thoughts when I felt my phone vibrate from within the depths of my coat pocket. I pulled it out and saw my mom’s name flashing on the screen.
Leave it to mothers to always know when there’s something up with their children. There’s just a sort of maternal instinct that somehow snaps into place whenever something is wrong.
“Hey, Mom.”
“Oliver!” Mom’s cheerful voice filtered in through the bleak evening. “How are you doing? I miss you so, so much!”
“I miss you, too, Mom,” I told her softly.You and your crystals. Amanda and Buddy and Grandma Margaret. Julian and cold beer by the lake.
