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I smiled faintly at her and turned back to the front. She was right—it was a very beautiful sunset and with Amanda leaning into me and Buddy at my feet, it was truly perfect.
I shouldn’t waste it on thoughts of an empty tomorrow.
* * *
It was already late at night and I was holding Amanda close as we were lying on the bed. After dinner, I had said my goodbyes to Grandma Margaret. She had been rather sad but she wished me well and reminded me to wear the socks she gave me whenever the weather turned cold.
“I wish this day could last forever,” I murmured, pressing a soft kiss to the top of Amanda’s head, my eyes fluttering closed as I savored the moment.
There will be no more moments like this in the future,I reminded myself sadly.It took us twelve years to grasp what we lost. How much time would it take before we meet again in the future?
To imagine the future without Amanda was a painful feeling that gutted me.
“We shouldn’t take this badly,” she whispered, lacing her fingers with mine. “If we’re meant to be, nothing will be able to tear us apart. Time will take care of all our problems and answer all our questions. We should leave it all up to destiny.”
“And what if we never meet again in the future?”
“Then maybe we were never meant to be in the first place,” she said simply.
“That’s a very dangerous way of putting things, leaving it all up to fate,” I said with a bitter smile. “I can’t imagine going through life the same way.”
“That’s because you’re a doctor,” she chuckled. “But even though you’ve done your best, you still have to accept that for some patients, their time has come, right?”
I stilled at her words, my thoughts going back to Miranda McLachlan. I still blamed myself for not being there to help her when I could have but I knew that the doctor who took care of her that night was a competent one and there was nothing we could have done more for her, even if I had been there.
The ending still would have been the same.
Somehow, Amanda’s words settled the doubt and frustration within me, releasing me from the prison I had held myself in for several years.
I tilted her chin up and kissed her softly, my heart unfurling when she kissed me back. She threw her arms around me and I pressed her pliant body into the bed as if I would stamp my essence onto her soul, wordlessly begging her to not forget me.
When we pulled apart, I looked deeply into her beautiful eyes. “We still have a few more hours of this day left.”
She nodded and smiled. “Let’s make all of it count.”
Our clothes came off one by one and as we laid on the bed, touching each other eagerly, lingeringly. Our breaths mingled into breathy moans and sighs as we focused on loving each other, giving all of ourselves to each other.
My eyes closed as I allowed Amanda to touch me, her eyes taking me in wholly as if she was trying to learn me by heart and I took some solace in that. She rose up and straddled me, her warm softness pressed against my aching hardness as she leaned down to kiss me.
My arms came around her, spanning across the bare skin of her back as I pressed myself eagerly into her, willing to be one with her, deep within her, but giving her the space to control the pace between us.
She touched me softly, sensuously, her kisses trailing past my chest and down to my abdomen. When her soft lips closed around my aching member, I groaned softly, my hands spearing into her hair. It was quite pleasurable, yes, but above it all, I could feel her love pouring out onto me as she kissed the very center of my being that ached for her.
“Amanda…” I groaned.
She was unhurried, lingering where she drew gasps out of me until I was wild with love and wanting for her. When she finally rose up to kiss me again, I was seized with the need to touch her and love her as best as I could, to give her the same precious gift she had given me.
I rose up and we sat there on the bed, kissing each other, our tongues dancing together as she held my member and guided me to her as she fell back down on the bed. I entered into her slowly, relishing the glorious pleasure of our souls becoming one. She moaned as I began to slowly rock in her with regular, shallow thrusts, clawing at my back as the fire burned hot between us.
She sighed as she softly gyrated her hips, faint with the pleasure she was giving me and giving herself. When I bowed down to her chest and lovingly clasped my lips around the tip of her breast, she arched into me with a soft cry. I continued to thrust deeper into her in an unhurried pace while I showered her breasts with love, her fingers spearing through my hair as she held me close to her chest.
The slow, gentle rocking ignited my blood as much as our more wildly passionate encounters. I was soon straining, holding in my own release as I waited for her to climb higher to her peak.
“Oliver…” she moaned. “I’m so close…”
I kissed her deeply, my tongue plunging deep into her. “I’m right here, Amanda. You can let go.”
I reached down between us to where we were joined, my finger unerringly finding the bud of her desire. She was so wet that my fingers slid easily as I swirled my finger over her clitoris, enticing a cry from her lips, her head thrown back.
