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As we sat down and ate breakfast, sharing funny stories, I never realized that you can both be sad and happy at the same time.
* * *
Late in the afternoon, we made our way to the grassy hill with our tree where Amanda and I used to hang out together. Buddy, eager to be out and about in his favorite spot, immediately bounded up the gentle slope while Amanda walked a little more slowly to assist Grandma Margaret.
“These old joints are definitely not up to my usual jaunts anymore,” Grandma Margaret complained. “A pity, though. This is definitely one of the prettiest spots all over Georgetown.”
“I remembered you telling me that you and Grandpa Frederick used to have picnics here,” Amanda mused.
“Oh, those were the fun times,” her grandmother said with a fond smile. “We even carved our letters on that tree over there.”
She pointed a gnarled finger at the same tree where I had carved my initials with Amanda’s. It was funny how that old tree was covered in messy scratches but my fingers always knew where to find our names.
Like I always knew that my heart would go back to loving her even after twelve years apart.
We sat down on the sun-drenched grass and looked out towards the grass swaying in the summer breeze. I found a suitable stick and started throwing it at short distances for Buddy to go after, mindful that he was no longer the puppy that he used to be.
As the sun started to go down, he began to tire and lay down at my feet while Amanda gently leaned her head on my shoulder. My arm instinctively went around her, holding her close to me. From here, I could smell the fragrance of her shampoo and the faint wisp of her favorite perfume—Soulmate.
Behind us, Grandma Margaret appeared to have dozed off, leaning by the tree.
It was the single most beautiful picture my mind could paint—me, Amanda, Grandma Margaret, and Buddy all together.
Dear God,I prayed.Please make this moment last a little longer.
My throat was a little dry and I felt that familiar clenching feeling in my chest that I did twelve years ago when Amanda and I decided to break up before I went to England.
Only this time, I felt none of the excitement I did back then.
“Amanda?”
“Hmm?”
“Do you think…” I paused, the tears starting to form in my eyes. “Can you ever imagine going to London with me?”
“Oh…”
I looked at her and found tears starting to trail shiny tracks down her cheeks. She shook her head sadly at me.
“Oliver…I can’t,” she said softly. “My life…myentirelife is here in Georgetown. I have responsibilities here. I need to look after Grandma. I can’t just move to London!”
I held her close to me. “Hush now. You don’t have to feel sad about it. We’re going to make this day count, remember?”
Deep inside, I wanted to give myself a swift kick for ruining a perfectly good moment with Amanda but I wanted to know if maybe…maybeshe was willing to go with me to London.
It was foolish to hope because I knew that there were a lot of things she couldn’t just leave behind in Georgetown.
Still, I had dared to hope for it.
I heard a faint clicking sound and turned back to find Grandma Margaret holding Amanda’s phone up with an innocent expression.
“Did you just take a stolen picture of us, Grandma?” I asked her with some amusement.
“I thought it was a perfectly good sunset,” she smiled. “And you know what they say—photos last longer than memories do.”
“As long as you give me a copy of that,” I winked at her.
She winked right back at me.
