Page 146 of X My Heart


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Eight years later

Hunter

Time is a mean son of a bitch. It doesn’t heal a single fucking thing. But the hole in my heart is getting smaller with each sunrise. Not a day goes by when I don’t cherish every single moment I spent with her. She taught me how to live, to forgive, but above all, she taught me how to love. Not only love another person, but love myself. With all my flaws and my regrets, the time I wasted and the moments I can never return to.

It is funny what you remember, and what you don’t. I only spent a summer with her but it could have easily been fifty years.

I don’t think it really matters how much time you spend with someone; love doesn’t need to have a time stamp on it for it to be real, for it to define the rest of your life. Still, even eight years after she died, I love her. Although now, it’s a different kind of love. A love that opened my eyes.

It’s crazy—if you’d asked me how I wanted to live my life before I met her, before her love changed me, I would have told you I’d rather kill myself than give my heart to a girl.

Now, I smile every time I remember the little things, her laugh, the way she’d put me in my place, how we fought, the way we loved each other without anything left unspoken between us.

Sometimes when the sun is about to set and I’m done teaching the kids for the day, I head over to the track. I sit there and close my eyes, remembering how I held her in my arms one last time.

The day we spread her ashes in the ocean was beautiful. The moment I walked into the blue water with Jay, Drew and Tim by my side is etched in my mind. I was there with my friends, Ryan and Lydia, my father, Debra, Marian, Quinn and Cody. And with Sky’s mother, Chelsea, Conrad and her little brother, Stevie. We all stood on the beach with “Free Bird” playing in the background while the sun set. They said time will heal. I pray to fuck it does. First came anger, then pain, then numbness and rage, but now, thinking about that day and holding the necklace of the bird she gave me, I’m slowly becoming whole again. Sky will always be part of me, like I’m always going to be a part of her.

The month after she died, I rode the last race of my life. Standing there, waiting for the gate to fall, I knew it was time to stop chasing the ride on the tracks.

I bought an empty plot of land next to Jay’s, and built my own house. We opened a brand-new training facility in Sky’s name so we could train more kids. We couldn’t have done it without her help.

Ryan has been riding full-time for our company, and has defended his number-one position for the better part of the last seven years. We have a dozen promising young riders, even a couple who tried out for Nitro Circus. Drew is managing all of them; he’s needed to turn kids away or put them on a waiting list. Work is good.

Kneeling in front of the plaque next to the track, I smile, reading her name. FREE BIRD. In loving memory of Sky Alexander.

“Today is a big day, Shorty,” I whisper, taking out the last letter she wrote to me. I don’t know how many times I read those words before I could let them in. Taking a deep breath, I trace my fingers over her name on the plaque. “Today is the day,” I tell myself. “I’m keeping my promise, Sky.” I kiss my fingertips and let them glide across the engraving. Kissing the letter, I fold it, and put it back in my pocket.

“You ready?” Drew asks, walking over and handing me a coffee.

“I am.” I slap him on the back and follow him toward a group of kids already waiting for us on the track.

“How’s your dad doing?” he asks.

Grinning, I roll my eyes. “He’s good. You know, Debra and him actually go on double dates with Marian and Jay.”

“Old people.” Drew laughs.

“Hey, I have dinner with you and Tim almost every week and we’re not old.”

He winks at me. “Face it, Hunt. We’re ancient in their eyes,” he jokes, and points to the kids.

“Fuck, I know,” I say, shaking my head and laugh. “Feels like a lifetime ago when I was sixteen like them and racing for the stars.”

Drew laughs and takes a sip from his coffee.

We watch Cody pedaling down the track with Jay shouting pointers to him, and the other riders wait their turn. Cody’s the best and they know it. Drew heads over to Jay, handing him a coffee too. Jay waves at me and winks before shouting at Cody for missing his mark.

Quinn is talking to Debra, and my half-brother, Danny, sits next to them in the stands, and I smile.

My father was right; Danny is a light in the darkness. Every time I visit him at the amazing care facility where he lives, his innocence teaches me something new. I even helped him ride my bike. Debra and my tough-as-nails father brushed away a couple tears.

Quinn walks over to me. “Can’t believe Cody is traveling the world doing what he loves,” she says, watching her son balancing on his bike before the beeper goes off and he’s flying down the track.

“Better believe it. Cody has the drive to be great. Be even better than I ever was.” I grimace, giving her a wink.

She bumps her elbow in my side. “It’s all because of you.”

Smiling, I turn to her. I don’t know when it happened; it wasn’t an exact moment. My love grew for her over time. We started out as friends, and she never pushed me for something more when I wasn’t ready to be the man she deserved. But I’m ready now.

Source: www.allfreenovel.com
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