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“What?” The question catches me off guard.
“Sorry. I don’t mean to pry, I just… My family is all the way on the other side of the country. I’m here on a scholarship since we don’t have a lot of cash, and I don’t get to see them a lot. Traveling back and forth costs too much. Do you live close enough to see your parents?”
I hesitate. How much can I tell her? I’m not sure what I can tell her and what I can’t. Kat hasn’t ever made me feel like she wants to know something for personal gain, to spread rumors or make fun of me, and she doesn’t associate with girls like Lacey. So, I think I can take a chance with her, as long as I make sure I don’t tell her too much.
“My dad doesn’t live too far away,” I admit. “But we don’t have a great relationship. If I don’t see him ever again, I won’t be upset about it.”
Kat raises her eyebrows. “That’s a strong statement.”
I realize how bad it sounds. Itisthat bad, but how do I explain it?
“The thing is…since my mom passed away, things just aren’t the way they used to be at home.”
Kat’s face drops. “I’m so sorry, Raina.”
“It’s okay. It’s better this way. She was in a lot of pain, but she’s free now. I know it sounds bad, but I’m glad it’s over for her.”
“Was she sick for a long time?” Kat asks.
I’m making it sound like my mom had some incurable disease when, in reality, the only thing about her life she couldn’t cure was my dad. He beat her up so badly, there were times I didn’t know if she would make it. And then came the drugs—a mental escape when she couldn’t get away physically.
“My whole life,” I finally say.
“I’m so sorry,” Kat says again. “I’m so close to my parents. Even though things can get tough sometimes, I can’t imagine losing one of them. It must have been terrible.”
I can only nod. It was terrible. I think it was worse for my mom than it was for me—until she was gone, of course. After that, my dad doubled down on me like it was my fault she overdosed, like I was the one who drove her to it.
“Do you have brothers or sisters?” I ask, not wanting to think about my mom anymore.
“Yeah, two brothers. They’re older than me, and they’re so serious about me making a better life for myself. That’s why I’m working so hard. This scholarship will only last as long as I figure out how to keep my grades way up.”
“You’re going to be just fine,” I say. “You’re an inspiration.”
I hate that I have to lie to everyone around me. Kat is such a wonderful person, it makes me want to tell her the truth, and not just about my parents either, but about college and not being enrolled and how my dad and Stone are blackmailing me.
God, just thinking about putting it into words makes me break out in a cold sweat. Not only is it dangerous to share, it makes me sound crazy.
The cafeteria falls quiet, and we both look up to see why. The door to the cafeteria opens, and a guy who looks vaguely familiar walks in. Behind him, another guy follows, and he looks like shit.
One eye is swollen shut, he’s got stitches above his eyebrow, his bottom lip is split, and he carries himself as if he’s an old man, not a young, strong college student.
The cafeteria breaks out in whispers.
“It’s got to be awful to be the center of attention like that all the time,” Kat says. “I mean, Stone loves it when everyone is looking at him, but I bet he wishes the Earth would swallow him whole right now.”
I frown, and then I realize it’s him. The guy who looks like he turned around at death’s door is none other than Stone Giles.
“What happened to him?” I whisper.
“Rumor has it the rival hockey team jumped him before the game on Saturday. I think this time the rumors are true. I don’t think I’ve ever seen Stone like that…but he’s been asking for a beating for a while, looking for trouble where it’s none of this business.”
My stomach rolls, and I feel sick. My head feels light, and blood rushes in my ears.
This is my fault. I told his rival hockey team where they could find him. They must have found him and beat the ever-loving shit out of him.
I didn’t consider what would happen when they caught him alone. I didn’t think they would dothatto him. But that’s just the thing—I didn’t think at all. I don’t even know what I thought they would do, I just wanted them to teach him a lesson because I was angry that he trapped me in a corner.
Now, I feel like I’m going to throw up the sandwich I’ve been eating, and a pang of guilt shoots into my chest.
