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ChapterThree
Katie ripped a piece of moose jerky off with her teeth and took out her frustration on the dried meat. Was she more upset with Arne or herself? Why did the thought of spending the summer with him have adrenaline bubbling through her veins like sparkling cider at the same time her stomach quivered with anxiety? She tore another piece off, the tough wad making her jaw hurt.
She peeked over at Arne. His jaw, still clenched, made his cheek pop. Her gaze wandered down his neck, across his wide shoulders, and over his tight t-shirt that didn’t hide any of the muscles bulging underneath. She swallowed the big lump of meat in one hard gulp and turned forward as her cheeks heated.
He’d filled out while in the army. Granted, he’d never been a weakling with working at their family’s mine and chopping wood for the winter. But he definitely had transformed from the teen who’d grown tall faster than he could build muscle to a man who would have any red-blooded woman looking twice. Her eyes darted to the other side of the cab. Okay, three times. She fanned her scorching face and rolled the window down.
A raindrop splattered on the windshield, and she latched onto a safe topic. “Did your parents tell you it’s been raining non-stop up north?”
“Hmm.” Arne grunted a non-answer.
Katie rolled her eyes. She was trying here. She might not have a clue how she felt at the moment, but she wanted to at least be civil.
“If it’s been hitting the Miller’s place, mining will be a pain.” She twisted the tie around the sandwich bag of jerky and shoved it into her pack with more force than necessary.
“Yep, it will.” He leaned over the steering wheel as the truck slipped through some thick mud.
Her eyes slid to slits, and she stifled a growl. She knew for a fact that a messy road didn’t affect his ability to talk. Here she was trying, and he sat there pouting like a toddler.
Guilt burned hot at the back of her throat. She turned her face to the door to blink the tears away. She’d spent the last four years struggling between anger towards him and longing for her best friend. Now, seeing him here before her, she still was as confused as ever. She spun toward him and leaned against the door as anger won out.
“So, you spent the last four years writing me letters, begging me to forgive you, then won’t even attempt to hold a conversation?” She swallowed the lump that threatened to clog her throat down. She wouldn’t allow herself to cry. Not again.
“A lot of good those letters did.” His forced laugh was full of hurt. “You never once wrote back. Now, you want to talk about the weather, like I could give a rip about rain and mud?”
She turned forward with a huff. “Yeah, well, it was a mistake to even try.”
The cool, fresh smell of summer rain filling the cab was bittersweet as silence stretched thick between them. He was right, of course. The realization rolled the jerky in her stomach. How could she expect him to chat like an acquaintance when he’d asked over and over for her to extend mercy to him?
“Why didn’t you write back?” The low, almost inaudible question kicked her heart into overdrive.
“I don’t know.” Her voice cracked, and she cleared her throat. “I guess … I guess, I was confused. Still am.”
The pinging of the rain on the windshield and the steady rumble of the truck’s engine were the only sounds as he twisted his hands on the steering wheel. She picked at a loose thread on her sweatshirt, wanting to break the awkwardness but not knowing how. Why? Why did things have to change between them? Why had her two best friends been torn from her?
“I loved him too, you know.” Arne’s low, rough voice filled the cab with so much pain and anguish it stabbed like a knife to her chest. “Aside from you, Jim was the best friend I ever had. Even when he stole you from me, I couldn’t fault him for it. Not really. He was such an amazing guy. It made perfect sense you’d pick him over me.”
“I didn’t—” Her excuses dried up in her throat as he looked at her, his eyes glassy with unshed tears.
“It’s okay, Katie.” His small, sad smile broke her heart. “I should have made my move long before Jim came to Chicken.” He turned back forward and slowed to a stop at a swollen creek’s edge. “I can’t tell you how many times I’ve replayed that day in my head, wondering what I could’ve done differently. The bear charged out of the bush so quickly barreling down on Jim in front of me. I just reacted.” Arne spoke with his hands, motioning like he was visualizing the event in his head. “The griz broke from the willows to our left, charging at Jim, who was ahead of me on the right, so I shot. The first bullet missed, so I shot again.” A tear rolled down his cheek. “I turned to Jim when the bear took off, but he was on the ground, blood pouring from him. I couldn’t … I couldn’t do anything to help.”
She wanted to scoot across the bench and wrap Arne in a tight hug. She wanted to clamp her hands over his mouth and make him stop. Instead, she twisted her fingers together in her lap, ready to bolt if she needed to.
“When Dad came back with the Troopers from checking out where it happened, I couldn’t believe the bullet had ricocheted off a smooth stone just right. I mean, why couldn’t it have gone the other way?” He shook his head and bowed it, his words slamming through her with a vague recollection. “It took a lot of sessions with the army shrink to realize I had no way to control what happened. And, after becoming a medic, I know now there wasn’t anything I could’ve done to save him either.” He sighed and wiped the back of his hand across his cheek. “Doesn’t mean I still don’t miss him every single day.”
Katie stared at Arne, her ribs tightening in her chest, making it hard to breathe. She barely remembered her dad trying to tell her what had happened, but she hadn’t wanted to hear it. In her grief, had she ignored the facts so she could hang on to her anger and hurt? At the time, it had seemed like the only way she could go on without Jim. Now, she realized her selfishness just layered more pain on Arne’s shoulders.
When they could’ve been leaning on each other for healing, she’d wedged them apart in her bitterness. Of course, Arne wouldn’t have killed Jim on purpose. Arne was her tenderhearted friend who had stepped aside and hid his hurt when she’d chosen another over him. He was the same boy who did everything possible to keep her safe and happy on their adventures. The one who’d nursed a baby squirrel back to health after accidentally knocking its nest from a tree.
“I’m so sorry.” She whispered, her eyes filling up with tears.
He gazed at her, regret and pain spearing straight into her heart. “Me too.” He swallowed and turned back to the creek before them. He nodded at the high water. “Let’s see if we can make it across this thing.”
He eased off the bank, and the water covered the wheels. Katie gripped the dash and leaned forward for a better look. It’d been a long time since she’d seen the creek swell that much.
“Will we make it?” She turned to look out the back window as the trommel jerked the truck when it splashed into the creek.
“If we get stuck, we’ll just have to winch it out.” The steering wheel jerked in his hands as the truck hit something on the creek’s bottom, and he quickly corrected it.
Katie squeaked and grabbed her backpack from the floorboard as water rushed in from the bottom of the door. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen it this high before.”
She threaded her arms through her pack’s straps and hugged it to her body backwards. She prayed they’d make it to the other side and wouldn’t have to wade across. While she could swim, she wasn’t that great, and stories of kids being swept down the river always made her cautious when near water.
The truck jerked to a halt about three-quarters of the way across. A prickling started at the base of her skull and spread up her scalp. Don’t worry, you ninny. It’s not that big of a deal.
Arne put the truck in reverse, but the wheels just spun, making a slurpy, grinding noise coming through the open window. He slammed his palm against the steering wheel and jerked the shifter into neutral. With a sigh, he pushed open the door.
“Looks like we’re wadin—”
His words cut short and eyes widened on his face as he stared past her. Her body trembled as she turned in time to see a wall of water crash through the open window, pushing her across the seat and out the open door. The swell covered her head, filling her mouth and nose and holding her under as Arne’s hands grasped for her as she rushed by.
