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"Yep," Jake said. He crossed his arms and gave me a look that was so fucking sexy it was unfair. I wanted to melt right into the couch.
And I wanted to run away and never looked back.For his own good, I reminded myself. That was all.
I remembered the little girl in the dream. The only way he, or any of them, would be a father, was if they gave up on me and found other women. The idea hurt like a dagger to my heart, but it wasn't fair to them to wait around for me. Not when I knew I couldn't be with any of them.
"Fine. I’ll get dressed." I stood and started towards my room.
"Need some help?" Cooper called out.
"No, I'm good." This time, I locked the door behind me. I knew without a shadow of a doubt at least one of them would follow me if I didn't.
I leaned against the door and sucked in a few shaky breaths.
Why was I more scared of my feelings than anything Dagen might do to me?
I could put it down to our growing war with the Onyx Ridge pack. Not only was I scared of being distracted, I was worried about getting so attached I couldn't deal with it if I lost any of them.
For the same reason, I needed to discourage their attachment to me. I had no plans to die anytime soon, but if I did, they needed to focus for the good of the organisation and every other white wolf in the state. The younger ones in particular.
I wanted them to grow up in a world where they didn't need to worry about shit like this.
I pressed my palms to the door and pushed myself off it.
With hurried steps, I walked to my wardrobe to get dressed and make myself a bit more presentable. It was almost dawn and I had an hour or two of sleep, but I didn't need to look like it.
Out of habit, I pulled a dress off a hanger. I paused and considered it for a moment. Low-cut in the front and the back, and with a long split in the thigh, it was exactly the kind of thing I liked to wear.
Today though, the idea of showing that much skin made me feel uncomfortable.
I chewed my lip for a moment.
This was exactly the kind of mind fuck Dagen got a kick out of. Making me feel vulnerable. Making me feel like I should wear a turtleneck and a skirt that fell to my ankles.
"Fuck you," I whispered. I didn't wear dresses like this because I like to be looked at. I wore them because I liked the way I felt in them. I would not be made to feel ashamed of the way I looked or dressed. I wouldn't hide, because if I did, then he won.
I slipped into the dress and looked at my reflection in the long mirror that hung on the wall.
"Yep, you're still a smoke show," I told myself. In a shade of deep red, the dress clung to my curves, flattering me to perfection. It fell to just above my ankles, but the split showed most of my right leg.
I'm not going to say I didn't feel a moment of self-consciousness. I did. I almost considered taking the dress off and putting on a skirt and blouse. And buttoning the blouse all the way up to my throat. And maybe throwing one of those wearable blankets over the top of the outfit. That would hide me.
Unfortunately I didn't own a wearable blanket anyway, so the dress would have to do. I brushed my hair and pushed my feet into a pair of heels. To the casual observer, I was still Ivory, the big bad she wolf. The woman who held influence over almost every corner of the state.
If you looked more closely, you might see a hint of Elodie, the woman who was struggling to keep all of it together.
I made another mental note. This time it was to have Jake contact all of the members of the wolves’ conclave. Consisting of the alphas of each state of Australia, it was an uneasy alliance at best. We rarely met. When we did, it was because of situations like this. When one group was trying to overthrow another.
White wolves held sway in Western Australia and Tasmania. Black wolves lead Victoria and South Australia. Of course, Queensland had to be different, so their alphas were grey wolves. They tended to be neutral, so they would either stay out of it or try to mediate.
The Northern Territory, just to be really different, was led by a pack of dingoes.
The Western Australian and Tasmanian packs would send wolves if this turned into full-blown war.
South Australia wouldn't bother to return my messages. The dingoes would stay out of the way of all of us.
It was the Ironhide pack of Victoria I was the most interested in. They were led by Kian Quinn, with some help from his brothers, Tyler and Reed. Although as ruthless as the average black wolf, they tended to be more reasonable than the Onyx Ridge assholes. Kian might not help me directly, but he was proud of his reputation and that of black wolves in general. He may do nothing, but he might also send someone to assassinate Alistair Dagen.
If he could get a moment's break from trying to stop his brothers from seducing every woman in sight. Including me.
