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“He didn’t even have the balls to follow you home right away? Chase you down as you left?” Fury surged inside Jonathan. A rage he thought he’d put behind him years ago.
Bailey gave a bitter laugh. “Save the pissed-off-edness—and don’t tell me that’s not a word. We’re just getting started.” She grabbed the chips and nibbled one. “He was all sweetness and apology, and even brought me chocolates. Told me he was so sorry. He loved me. It was a lapse in reason. The moment he saw me, he knew he didn’t want to lose me. Swore he hadn’t been with anyone else since we got engaged, and it would never happen again. I told him I didn’t know if I could trust him now. He said he wanted to earn it back—my trust. We’d work through this. He’d be better. I’d try harder...”
“Try harder at what?” Jonathan wasn’t sure he wanted the answer.
She met his gaze, eyes hard and expression blank. “In his words, Ihadput on a couple extra pounds since we got married. We both had things to work toward, and we’d do it together. Wait.” She held up a finger when he opened his mouth to argue. “We went back to happy la-la land. It was all good for a few more months—I was starting to trust him again—and then one of his girlfriends called the house. Rinse and repeat this conversation five... six more times? I lost count. The first couple of encounters, Danny was sweet about his apologies. It started with hints. I should take better care of myself. I needed to try harder to make him happy. I didn’t understand what he wanted in the bedroom. I was so fucking fat.”
Jonathan couldn’t remember the last time he was so furious. “Ale, I—”
“Don’t.” She clipped the word off. “Don’t tell me you’re sorry. Because you’re a decent human being, I assume that, and I don’t want your pity. Don’t say anything because you feel obliged. You tried to warn me, and what could you have done? You weren’t here. It wasn’t your responsibility.”
“If you told me... If Nana said something...”
“What? You would have hopped the next plane to Florida and beaten the crap out of him? Even if that was true, it wouldn’t matter. I would’ve been furious with you, he’d tell me it was my fault, and the cycle would start over again. While it was happening, I didn’t see it for what it was. The entire thing was my fault as I lived it. He tore me down, to the point I was convinced I couldn’t do anything right. I gained fifty pounds and hated myself every step of the way.No wonder he didn’t love me. Of course he was sleeping with other women. I was lucky he let me claim to be his wife, anymore.And you know how they love gossip around here. Everywhere I went, I was the pudgy girl whose husband was sleeping with everyone but her.” Venom filled her words, and her voice shook by the time she finished.
Sympathy died in his throat. She didn’t want that. Or pity. “How did you get out?”
“Nana.” Bailey set the chips aside, though she’d only eaten one. “She kidnapped me.”
Under any other circumstance, he’d laugh. Now the best he could manage was a snort of disbelief. “How’d that work?”
“Danny and I argued one day, and I fought back. It wasn’t the first time I’d bitten back, but it was the first time I told him we were done. I walked out, but I didn’t have anywhere to go. In the time leading up to that, I’d drifted away from my few local friends. My parents had moved to Tampa. I was scared of what he’d say if I touched the money in our account to get a hotel room. So I went to the coffee shop. Nana found me sobbing in my car. I was terrified he wouldn’t take me back, and just as scared this was the only place I had to go and I’d be stuck with him forever.”
Bailey dragged the back of her hand across her cheeks, as if to wipe away tears, but Jonathan didn’t see any. She dragged in a shaky breath. “She brought me back to her house. Then... she listened. I told her everything I just told you, more or less. She didn’t say anything, except to let me know she was listening. She had that damned expression you get.”
“I have an expression?”
Bailey almost smiled. “That stupid impassive mask that would make you a brilliant card player. She had the same look. She didn’t judge me, or offer her opinion or her advice. She let me ramble as I talked it all through. And then she refused to let me go home. She called Danny. Told him I was staying with her for the week. I begged her not to. What if he didn’t let me come home after? He didn’t care. Not until I realized at the end of the week I didn’t want to go home. While I was there, Nana and I talked about everything. What it was like for her to grow up. You. Me. Danny only came up when I mentioned him.
“I’m not saying a switch was flipped; I still had daysI knewI was wrong and wanted to go back to him. Times I was terrified I’d be alone forever if I walked away from him. But Nana was there for me through the divorce. Through figuring out how to live alone. Through finding work. That’s how I got into the auctioning and appraisal. It felt good, selling off all his shit.” She made a sound that was half-sob, half-laugh. “You must think I cry and scream all the time. I promise, in everyday life, I’m pretty even keel.”
“I had no idea.” He reached out to comfort her. He needed to do something.
She placed her palm on his chest, holding him at arm’s length. “Don’t. I’ll be fine.” Tears flowed down her cheeks, but she didn’t sob or sniffle. “I need a few minutes. I’ll be right back.”
Jonathan ached to make things right but didn’t have any solutions. He let her walk away, suppressing every urge he had to stop her.
*
BAILEY STOOD IN FRONTof the bathroom mirror, red-rimmed eyes staring back, as cold water spilled over her hands and into the sink. She needed to bring her thoughts back under control. Relaying the story shouldn’t have hit her so hard. She’d dealt with it and moved on. She only told it to distract him and remind herself she wasn’t that person anymore. It was done and over, and she needed to drag herself from that past.
One thing tried to work its way out during her tale, and she’d struggled to hold it back—the nagging voice that insisted it was all Jonathan’s fault. He hadn’t tried hard enough to stop her from getting married. He walked away and abandoned her to that life.
What else was he supposed to do? She screamed at him, back them. Forced him away, her command that he go and never speak to her again not leaving room for argument. She splashed more water on her face, trying to shock herself into a more neutral place and chase away the confusion raging inside.
A heavenly smell drifted into the room. Garlic. Onions. Beef? She couldn’t identify all of the scents, but their combination made her stomach growl. She stepped into the hallway, and a glance at the clock in her bedroom told her she’d been hiding out for almost half an hour. It didn’t feel like nearly that long, but at the same time she might as well have suffered an eternity.
She followed her nose to the amazing concoction calling her, and paused in the kitchen doorway. Jonathan had set the table for two. In the middle of it all sat a bag of chips and a pot of something with the lid still on.
He looked up with a tentative smile. “Dinner’s on.”
“It’s after ten. Isn’t it a little late for food?”
“Nope.” He held out a chair and gestured to it. “We have to eat sometime, and you skipped lunch.”
She didn’t have the strength to argue the sweet gesture. “What are we having?” she asked.
He scooted the chair in when she sat. “You were right about your pantry; our options are a little limited. We’re having nachos. Sort of.” He tilted the chip bag and dumped a generous stack onto her plate, then ladled something over them from the pot. Stroganoff sauce.
