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Jodie’s cheeks were on fire as she returned to the table with her mother. No one saw what she and Logan were up to, but she swore it was written all over her face.
Duke watched her with a kind expression. “Are you all right?”
“I’m better, thank you.” Did she strike that balance between polite and not over-the-top?
“Good.” His smile said he believed her.
Logan returned a few minutes later. “There you are.” He sounded surprised to see her. “I was looking for you. To apologize.”
No one is buying this. She’d play along anyway. “You found me. I’m better. Thank you.” Great. Now she was repeating herself.
As dinner went on, no new arguments surfaced. It would take a lot of work on her part to make things happen otherwise, since she and Logan never spoke to each other directly. Hallway promises and a dirty-bad-but-oh-so-good bathroom make-out session didn’t mean much, when they had to appear aloof in public.
What did she expect? It wasn’t like he promised herforever, just that he’d be nicer. She didn’t want that. Though would a little more definition around their relationship be such a bad thing? It would be after his reaction to her being pregnant. But he apologized for that tonight, too.
She tried to be subtle about watching him interact with their parents. Smiling, intelligent, and even funny. He caught her gaze and winked, before turning back to the conversation.
Her heart skipped.Not fair. If she thought about it, the two of them had more up times than down since she arrived at Stanford.
But those low points hurt as much as ever. More, now that they’d screwed. And God help her, fucking him was amazing, and she’d have a hard time denying as much if he asked her.
As they finished dinner and said theirgoodnights, she was only half-involved in the conversation. Her mind was stuck in a circular argument about Logan. The sex was incredible, the good times were better, and the bad times sucked ass. And none of it mattered, because nothing else had changed. He was going to be nicer. And proved it by feeling her up in a bathroom stall.
As she sank into her car and silence enveloped her, she bit back a scream of frustration. She could go home, put in her earbuds, and drown out the world. She didn’t care if Noah brought someone home. It would be a distraction, to pull her out of her own head.
When she arrived at her apartment, the first thing she did was lose the dress and change into her comfiest PJ bottoms and a tank top. Noah was in his room with the door closed, and no noise coming out. Odd for this time on a Saturday night—usually he’d be at the bar right now—but she’d take it. Maybe she’d watch a movie. Something loud with lots of explosions and no romance at all. Why should fictional characters find happiness if she couldn’t reason out her own?
As Jodie was settling on the couch, someone rang the bell. She answered, and her stomach dropped into her shoes. Logan stood on the other side, still in his suit and tie from dinner. It wasn’t fair that he looked so good. She kept the reaction off her face and forced indifference through her veins. “Noah’s in his room.”
“I’m looking for you.” Logan stepped inside and shut the door. “And fuck, you look amazing.”
Her heart hammered against her ribs.Why does it matter? Because it did. “If you want to finish what we started in that bathroom stall, the mood is lost.”
“I deserve that.” He gave her a weak smile. “And I am here to prove I was sincere earlier, but not that way. I have to tell you something else.”
“I’m listening.”
He searched her face, and her pulse raced at a gallop, betraying her desire to stay removed from the situation. “Are you?” he asked.
She dialed down the apathy. “Yes. I promise.” If this was going to be anotherit was a one-time thingconversation, they might as well get it over with. And if he had the nerve to say something like,we can still screw, but can’t tell anyone, she didn’t have a problem shoving him out the door and slamming it behind him.
Despite her resolve, both options dug deep, leaving an empty gouge inside.
“I love you,” Logan said.
Jodie’s heart ground to a stop, then kick-started at a painful rate. “Beg pardon?”
He let out a tiny laugh. “That’s fair. I love you, Jodie. I don’t know how long I’ve felt this way. Months. Longer. And I know I haven’t given you much reason to feel the same, and that’s okay. This isn’t one of those things where I say it, and you don’t want to say it back, and our lives fall apart with awkwardness. All I’m asking for—and you don’t have to sayyes—is the chance to prove I mean it.
“This isn’t even contingent on the child. Whatever you do with that, I support you. Whether we’re together or not, I’ll help you out however I can. I think you’ll be an amazing mom.”
Happiness and confusion blurred inside and pricked at her eyelids with tears. She blinked back the wash of muddy emotion. The confession made her heart skip in a way she didn’t expect. At the same time, he was right; she wasn’t ready to return a commitment likeI love you. “I don’t know what to tell you.”
He jammed his hands in his pockets. That made things worse. Sheepish Logan was as handsome as confident Logan. “How about I stay tonight? To talk. At least say you won’t shut me out of your life—yourlives.”
“I can’t imagine doing that.” The confession slipped out without her permission. “Shutting you out, I mean.Yesto the staying. For a little while, anyway.” She nodded at the couch. If they stayed out here, it would be easier to keep things friendly. To remember she couldn’t dive into something too quickly.
He sat down and grabbed her hand. Desire jolted through her. When he pulled her to sit next to him, and her thigh pressed against his, heat raced over her skin, raising the tiny hairs on the back of her arms.
