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I nod and sag in relief. “Well thank you all. I love it.”
They all laugh. “You should’ve seen your face. I’ve never seen blind panic like it. I thought you were going to run,” they tease.
“Haha,” I grumble, not seeing the funny side of the joke yet. Or ever. “Joke’s on you, morons. What if I thought he was serious and accepted? You’d be stuck with me then.” I stick my tongue out at them while I let that sink in.
I take a seat at the table and proceed to tell them all about Tilly’s dorm room drama, which makes them howl with laughter. Jax even tells me that I can stay with them till it’s sorted, but I decline. It’s one thing staying on weekends and in the holidays when there aren’t many people about, but it’s something else to move in during term time. I don’t even know if it’d be allowed. Jax assures me that his stepmother wouldn’t mind, but I’m reluctant. I’m pretty sure there are already whispers and rumours about me dating the four guys - thanks no doubt to Tilly - but I don’t want to make it worse.
We spend the rest of the weekend studying, though the study sessions are frequently interrupted by hot tub breaks. The guys have very creative and exciting methods to try to get me to remember chemical equations, but no matter how fun it is, I have to knuckle down and study the good old fashioned way. They test me often, and there’s always a fun reward when I do well. Equally, Jax dishes out punishment when I don’t do so well, but I quite like that too. Not that I’d tell him that.
***
The next month passes in a blur of activity. Everyone’s so busy and under so much pressure that we barely have time to socialise. Even Rebel and I keep our fighting to a minimum because we’re so focused on our studies. The mock exams shake us all; they’re much harder than we expected, and everyone bombs on them. I can’t help but wonder if the teachers deliberately flunked us all so that we’d freak out and work harder for the real thing. Whatever the reason, we’re all pulling triple time in the library. I can’t study at their house, there are too many distractions. Being out in public’s much safer. Even the fun and sexy revision games have stopped. Everyone‘s knuckling down to try to get through to the end of term.
I’m looking forward to the Easter break that we’re barrelling towards at an alarming speed. Most people are dreading it because it means that the exams are nearly upon us when we return. But I don’t care about that so much. I just want a whole two weeks off from classes and pushy teachers. I’ll still be working hard, but at least I can set my own pace.
I was planning on spending it with the guys, possibly off-campus somewhere, until I read Lizzie’s last journal entry. She genuinely feared for her life, so she broke up with the princes, even though it broke her heart to do it.
I slam the book shut and stare at the wall for a moment. Tears prick at the corners of my eyes, and I feel them threatening to fall. Why am I crying? For Lizzie? Or myself?
Maybe a little bit of both. As the exams draw closer, my stomach’s continuously clenching, not because of that, but because the end of term’s approaching and that means leaving the guys forever. The thought breaks my heart, so I can only imagine what Lizzie actually went through. My head’s reeling, and I just feel like I need some space to think and clear my head.
Of course, that’s right about the time Thorn comes in and asks if they can all talk to me downstairs. Bleurgh, nothing good’s ever come from the words, “Can we talk?”
I stomp down the stairs, already in a lousy mood and dreading what they’re going to say, only to walk into the dining room that they rarely ever use and stumble to a standstill.
The table’s full to bursting with a feast fit for a king. A vast selection of makings for fajitas are laid out, and there are coke floats on the table - all my favourite things.
“What’s going on?” I ask nervously. It’s not my birthday, an anniversary or a special occasion.
“Sit down, Princess, let’s eat.”
The spread’s breathtaking, and it all looks delicious, but I’m so worried by those three little words that I can barely touch a bite.
“What’s up, Princess?” Rebel asks me when he notices that I’m picking at my food.
“What did you want to talk about?”
“Don’t worry,” he tells me, and I pull a face at him.
“No one in the history of the world has ever stopped worrying because someone said ‘don’t worry’ to them. It’s stupid.” I’m being snarky, and I know it, but I can’t help myself. It’s a defence mechanism I use to protect myself when I’m feeling insecure.
“Seriously, you have nothing to worry about. Eat. You’re ruining dinner.”
Those last three words were entirely the wrong thing to say to me. It’s like lighting the blue touch paper. I’m instantly enraged.
“I’m ruining - I’M ruining dinner?” I yell at him, springing to my feet. “How can you say that when you drag me down here sounding ominous, telling me we need to talk, and then act like nothing’s going on? What am I supposed to think? My stomach’s in knots here. I feel sick. Of course I’m worried and unable to eat!”
Four guys blink at me, clearly shocked by my outburst and unsure what to say. It would be funny if I weren’t so worked up. I don’t think I’ve ever rendered all of them speechless in one go before. Thorn’s the first to recover. He stands and takes my hand, pulling me in gently for a hug.
“Baby, I’m so sorry. I didn’t know I’d made you feel like that. I used the wrong words. There’s absolutely nothing wrong, I promise. The opposite in fact.” He pulls us both back into our seats, and I turn to face him.
“What do you mean?” I ask, and he quickly glances at the other guys. Jax gives a tiny nod.
“We just wanted to have a nice meal with you tonight and to say that, although school’s ending soon and next year’s all up in the air, we’d really like to keep seeing and spending time with you.”
“Dating you,” Ace adds.
Well, now I feel pretty stupid. I may have overreacted slightly. Maybe. Just a tiny bit. I take a breath and let my lie, that’s also the truth, out.
