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Chapter Fourteen
Eris
I found some paper that they’d left behind, a sheaf of a dozen or so pieces behind the storage building. It didn’t have anything on it, which was probably why they didn’t care. Paper was impossible to get here, but since the last of the pens dried up, we didn’t have any way to write or draw. I was just lucky nobody thought to use it for far less noble purposes.
They were likely just in such a rush to hide everything that they didn’t even notice. But the fact that I found it behind the building made me think they’d dropped it on the way to wherever they were going. And fact was, the oasis was not that big. If I put my mind to it, I’d find where they hid our precious books and charts.
But doing that without being caught in the process was not going to happen for the same reason.
But it gave me a place to start to recreate the star maps, and I did it with charcoal from the fire pit. They were coarse, with none of the beauty of the originals, but it gave me a way to get down what I was visualizing.
I’d begun slipping into the old storage room whenever I could spare a few minutes and had covered nearly every square inch of paper with miniaturized versions of the charts as I remembered them. I didn’t have enough room or the specific-enough memories to recreate the actual books, but I did what I could. And as I did, I felt that I was growing to understand the Prophesy more than when I had the actual materials in my hands.
While the pack pulled away from me, while my status decreased, I drew inward, studying and remembering, running on the plains as much as I could, but it was a lonely life, as I was sure the elder’s intended. Our alpha, had offered me a great honor in mating his son, and I’d rejected that honor. Of course he couldn’t just agree. But what I didn’t understand was why he even had made that offer.
“So this is where you’ve been hiding yourself,” an unwelcome voice echoed in the empty storage room. “My father said you will buckle soon and marry me, but I’m not sure I even want to be your mate after the way you’ve behaved.” Zeke, who would be my beloved, stood in the doorway.
“That’s fine.” If I thought he meant it, I’d throw a party. “I can appreciate that you’ve waited long enough and that there are probably many others who would be thrilled to be your mate.” It was a lie. Despite his status, I couldn’t think of a single female who would welcome this crude and lazy male. She’d work her fingers to the bone taking both of their share of the labors of staying alive in the worsening world.
“You’d like that, wouldn’t you?” He came inside, ducking his head at the low entry. “Because you’re so much better than the rest of us with all your talk of Prophesy and waiting for the one the Fates or the gods or someone have set aside just for you. What makes you so special?”
“Nothing. I’m not special at all.” I was shoving the precious pages behind me where I hoped he wouldn’t see them and maybe damage them. “And that’s why I’m not worthy of your attention.”
“No, you’re not, but my father says I can have you, and so I will. You don’t mind working hard, and you’re not terrible to look at.” He was closer now, and I shifted back again, sliding the pages with me. “You aren’t serious about that Prophesy nonsense. Nobody believes in those old superstitions. And even if there was a fated for you, how would they ever find you? We know everyone in the packs close enough to visit us. Anyone else would never survive the trip. Poor planning on the part of Fate if you ask me.” He laughed at his own joke.
“Zeke, why don’t you just accept that I’m difficult and tell your father to find you someone else?”
He took another step and reached for me.
I ducked.
“We don’t have to wait to consummate our union, you know. We can do it now, so you’ll recognize what you’re missing out on by not agreeing to our mating. I will allow you to worship me with your mouth first…”
Was that supposed to be a plus? He was barely clean and smelled bad. I’d sooner dunk my head in one of the buckets I emptied than get my nose anywhere close to him. But I was all alone in here with him and fairly sure I had no pack support, so I couldn’t just say, “You stink, and I hate you.” No, I had to be more subtle.
“Zeke, I really do believe that the Prophesy is how I will find my mate. It’s not that I do not appreciate the honor you and your father and the other elders have extended me. It’s just against my belief system. So I—hey! Get your hand off me before I cut it off.”
This would have held more power if I’d had any weapon to get his ugly, sweaty hand off my breast besides a hunk of charcoal.
He grinned, leaning in and tightening his grip on my breast. “It’s all right. Nobody will judge you. We’ll just have to mate before you’re too far along.”
I swatted at his hand. “What are you talking about? Along?” He couldn’t be announcing an intention to impregnate me here and now?
“It’s all right, mate—”
“Do not call me that.”
“It’s a little soon, but as soon as we finish here, I’ll just go tell Father to set up our mating celebration for tomorrow or the next day.”
I managed to twist away and lunged for the door, but he blocked the way, so of course he had his mitts on me again. “We are finished here, and there is to be no mating ceremony. Do you think I’d accept the job of emptying the shit buckets if I was in the least willing to mate you?” I glared at him so hard if he was a decent shifter, he’d have melted under my stare. “You’re insane.”
When he made no move to get out of the way or take his paws off me, I gave him the biggest shove I could and sent him to the floor. “Now. Leave. Me. Alone.”
I fled, not waiting to see if he was hurt by the tumble. He would have forced himself upon me there if I hadn’t shoved him, or if I’d been even the least bit weak because it took all my strength to knock him down.
As I emerged into the late-afternoon sunshine, I knew that something had to change and fast. He’d take what he wanted with or without my position, and nobody would care.
Maybe I shouldn’t wait for my mate to find me. Maybe I should just strike out and find him myself. Sure, it was risky, but death couldn’t be that much worse than this.
