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Chapter 14
Hades
What I hated most about being a god was not being able to forget. Sure, I could drink until I was wasted mess who didn’t know his own name. But the next day I’d just be sober again, and all this bullshit would still haunt me.
I’d come to Earth to get away from Persephone. The Underworld had become my home, no matter how much I hated it, but I let her have it so we didn’t stare at each other for half the year.
There was nothing worse than having to face the woman you knew didn’t love you for the centuries you’d been together.
On Earth, forgetting about her had been easy enough. Out of sight, out of mind, that was how the saying went, right? Humans and their damn expressions.
But now she was here. Persephone had decided to come to Earth and taunt me, merely by being around. And no matter how large this place was, it just wasn’t big enough for the two of us. I couldn’t stop remembering every shitty little detail about our pretend-relationship that had led us both to realize we’d never been cut out for each other.
I grasped Hera had fucked with me, and Persephone had finally decided to stop playing along.
What a joyous fucking day that had been. Not.
I’d been up all night. I hadn’t been able to sleep Saturday. At all. I sat on my patio, the shit-ugly outside of my house all around me, and I watched the sunrise as it colored the world after an inky black night.
Thank Zeus, Apollo had decided to find love again. Without his sunlight piercing the overcast clouds, the world had been a pretty dull place. Not that my brother knew Apollo was dating Elyse. It was sure to get him screwed somehow—Zeus was all about pointing fingers and making rules.
But I’d be happy for Apollo while it lasted. It was going to come to an end at some point, for sure.
I wished I could love as easily as Apollo did. If only it was that simple for me. But when your heart got broken the way mine had, you just didn’t close your eyes and jump anymore. Because chances were, no one would catch your sorry ass, and you were going to plant yourself face-first in the dirt.
Ask someone who knew from experience.
But I sure desired a bit of company. Even if just to share this glorious sunrise with in the mornings.
I never saw anything like this in the Underworld. The place was drab, dark, beautifully decorated in every fucking shade of gray you could imagine. It was enough to make your mood dull, too.
Up here, I could think, I could breathe, I could feel.
Which wasn’t always a good thing.
I shivered when a slice of darkness awoke inside me. I closed my eyes and tried to will the darkness away.
It was X. The fucker was linked to me—he was supposed to be a part of me, almost like my shadow—and I could feel him. I hated that I could. He’d gotten away from me, so he was free to kill, but he hadn’t escaped enough that I couldn’t feel him anymore. Not where the bastard hid, I just sensed him.
Last time I tried to follow the sensation, it sent me in circles for hours, because the bastard had no intention of letting me know where he hid with Catina. But every now and then, I sensed him stir, as if our link hadn’t completely severed.
Talk about straddling both worlds.
I hated knowing when he consumed souls, when he did something unforgivable. All I wanted was to do the job I had been tricked into and live through another damn day.
But I was stuck with this asshole, this murderer, and I had no idea what to do with it.
Elyse had finally come around to seeing I wasn’t a villain, but it took her long enough. And of course, why wouldn’t she believe the bad stuff? Even if I hadn’t been associated with X’s misdeeds at all, I wasn’t exactly a fun guy to be around. I was moody and messy, and all I wanted from her was sex.
Or rather, the only affection I knew how to show her was lust. The rest was hidden under this ugly mug.
I sighed. How was I going to deal with these feelings for her? Because I’d gone past the point where I could deny them. The other night, when she came to me to find out for herself if I was really okay with all this X shit, I’d shown her a side of me that was damn vulnerable.
That was usually a mistake, showing women you could break.
But there it was. She knew now. She saw that there was more than just the hard outer shell. She’d found out I had a heart in here somewhere.
I was always so macho, I had no idea how to tell her I was terrified of love, that I didn’t know what to do when I was around her, that I wished I hadn’t fallen for her because I was so worried about getting hurt again.
