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She pushed her plate away, but I pushed it right back. "Not eating isn't an option. Pick at it. I don't give a shit, but you will eat."
"See, that's ok," Nari told Anver, flicking her fork at me.
"So, dominance in small doses," he said.
"Manhandling," I offered.
She nodded. "That's different, though. Moving me around by force is nothing like preventing me from using my arms."
"There it is," Talin said softly. "So, don't bind her hands."
"Kinda expected for the class," Anver pointed out.
"And?" Talin asked. "When have these two ever done something expected?" He reached for his glass, then tipped it toward me. "He likes choking. You opposed to that, Nari?"
"Not from him," she promised.
But that mademelose my appetite. The idea of chokingher? I was not ready for that. "No choking," I told them.
"Which leaves us with nothing," Nari said. "Why are you opposed to choking me?"
"I could always tie you spread," I offered. "Turn you into a nice little buffet?"
"Hands," Wraythe pointed out.
But Nari had noticed my evasion. "Ela, why won't you choke me, but you will Talin? It's what you did to Tishlie. I saw the bruise on Faylie. You like choking. It gets you off, so why won't you share that with me?"
"Because I will nothurt you!" I snapped, pushing my plate away. "Don't you get that, Nari? Talin likes pain, so I can play right up to that line. You? That's not your thing. Sure, you can tolerate it, but it doesn't get you off. You want to be loved, so I fucking love you! That's what we have, and I'm not crossing any lines."
"We have to," she insisted. "Ela, if I don't pass this class..."
"Then we'll figure something else out." I met her eyes, holding them, making it clear I wasn't about to budge on this.
"Then tie me up," she said, lifting her chin.
My hand slammed down, hitting the top of the table hard enough to make others look. "No."
She mimicked me, hitting the surface the same way I had. "Yes. If you won't consider other options, then that's all we have left for Sexual Bondage. You will tie me up, we will perform for our audience, and I'll get a grade good enough to keep from failing this class."
Anver chuckled once, but it was dry and sardonic. "How come you get to be the martyr, Nari? You made it clear you're not into bondage, but as soon as Ela says he's not going to choke you, you're fine with it."
"Because she's protecting him," Talin said. "It's what she does. Ela just hasn't realized it yet. Nari says she's fine. She promises she can take it. She convinces everyone that she's a little bigger, a little better, and a lot more indestructible than she is. She's not, but everyone believes her. Ela does the same fucking thing, except he pretends like he's perfect."
"Oh, fuck you," I grumbled at him. "I never should've told you that."
"You should've," Wraythe countered. "Do you honestly think Nari and I don't know what you do? We just don't want to bruise your pride by calling you on it. Talin doesn't have that problem."
"Probably because you're fucking him," Anver pointed out. "Ela, why don't you want to choke Nari? You told us why you won't, but you didn't mention why you don'twantto."
Everyone at the table looked at me. Unfortunately, I couldn't say anything. I didn't have a reason why I didn't want to, simply because Idid. Iwantedto wrap my hand around her neck and squeeze. I wanted to hear her breath catch while I pleased her body. I longed to see her eyes hanging on mine, waiting for me to give her air back.
Even thinking about it had my dick getting harder, but I never would. I'd promised Wraythe that I wouldn't hurt her. I owed him everything, and I wouldn't go back on that. I'd promised Talin that I'd take care of her. More than all of that, I'd sworn to her that I loved her, and love came before my stupid fucking fetish!
I would never hurt her. That would destroy the thing we all had. It would tear apart our family. There was one thing that my girl couldn't take, and that was losing someone she loved. If I hurt Nari, then Wraythe would be gone. If I didn't take care of her, Talin would pull away. If I was the kind of monster to her that I could be with others, she would never look at me the same, and I couldn’t accept that.
I wanted to make her beg. I longed to ravish every inch of her, bringing her right to the edge of pain, just to turn it into pleasure. I dreamed of seeing my handprint on her ass, my bruise around her neck, and the marks from my teeth on her skin, but I couldn't imagine any of that without the fear in her eyes, and that ruined everything.
Because I didn't want to hurt her. I wanted to love her. I didn't want to scare her. I wanted her to know she could trust me. I wanted to be a good man for her, a partner she could rely on, not an abuser. Fuck the trinkets. They deserved everything I gave them, but that was different. That was abuse, and I enjoyed it.
