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When I let the thought die, Wraythe pressed, "Tell her what, Ela?"
"That she should be scared of me." Finally, I looked up at him. "That she can't trust me. That I'm not good enough for her."
"Hey." He leaned over to cup the side of my neck, making me look at him. "If that girl can enjoy my brute size pushing her around, then I think she'll surprise you, ok? She'll say it's nice to know she doesn't have to be mean because you will, or something."
And in the back of my mind, something clicked into place. "What?" I asked, hoping he'd repeat that.
"You know the way you always used to trash people so they'd leave me alone, because I was too much of a pussy to do it myself? Or how you can give someone that evil glare you do so well, and they'll just veer off, avoiding us all? Ela, you're always the asshole so she doesn't have to be. Our girl can just be nice. She can even be a sucker, because we've got her covered. I'll break their bones, you break their minds, and Talin? I dunno what he'll break - "
"Their hearts," I joked.
"Probably. That little shit is almost as pretty as you, and he plays a completely different game. Huh..." His eyes lost focus for a moment. "You know, I think you and he are a lot alike. Might explain why I enjoy having him around."
"How so?"
"You're both interested in pain. Two opposite sides of it, but you'll hurt people for her, and he'll be hurt by people for her. You're both able to slap on this mask and turn yourself into whatever you need at the drop of a hat. Promise, there's no way I can do that. And you're both kinda hot."
I laughed. "Saying you're finally giving in to guys now?"
"Nope. But that doesn't mean I wanna watch my girl fucking some nasty-looking piece of shit, either. It's much sexier when she's with a guy I could wish was me." He shrugged. "It's more like a reminder, Ela, than a desire for that guy. Like, that's what my dick looks like going in her."
"So how do you explain watching me fuck men?" I pressed.
He tousled my wet hair and finally grinned. "That's just because watching is taboo. And yeah, I kinda wanna see what it feels like to do anal, you know." He lifted a hand before I could interrupt. "Me inside her, so don't even try. I also have no intention of doing that until she's perfectly ok with taking me. So, watching you fulfills that little fantasy. Nothing more complicated than that."
I nodded, shifting the subject back to where we started, just because I had to know. "Do you really think she'll see this as my way of protecting her?"
"Is it?"
I shifted my gaze away, staring at the tile along the wall. "I think I'll make sure it is. I want to hurt people, Wraythe. I want to hurt them so bad because of all the things they do to us. Because of how they take us - the unwanted kids of the world - for granted. And it doesn't matter how old we are. The world will always see us as someone else's garbage, and that pisses me off. More when it's Nari they're treating like that."
"How should they treat her?" Wraythe asked, sounding almost worried.
"Like a god," I told him. "And I'm more than willing to be the vengeance."
"Just make sure that you don't get lost in that rage and forget why she's with you," he reminded me. "Because she wants to beloved. Not protected, not sheltered. Nariana wants the three of us tolove herhowever we're most comfortable doing that." He paused. "Ela, I'm not fucking around. You have to figure this shit out, because it's not going away, and I'm not going to choose between the two of you, so do not fuck this up, ok?"
"I can't promise that."
He just tipped his head to the side. "You can. There's one rule, remember? Make as many mistakes as you want, but don't leave her. If I have to, I will get between the two of you, butdo not leave her."
Slowly, I nodded. "I can't. Wraythe, she's what keeps me sane. She's everything. I could no more leave her than I could leave you."
"Then we'll make all the rest work out," he assured me. "But you're telling her as soon as she gets home. No carrying this guilt around. No secrets."
"No secrets," I agreed. "Not between us."
Chapter 57
Nariana
From the back balcony of Sandrest, the view felt like it stretched on forever. Out the front, I could've seen the entire city, but Talin's room looked over the expanse of property Baron Ranndor called his own. Beyond his personal lands were houses, tenant farmers, and more. The entire country was divided into six equal tracts of land called provinces. Each one was taxed and maintained by a different representative for each god: the baron. Before me was everything Zeal had claimed.
"How far does it go?" I asked Talin.
He moved behind me against the balcony railing. A heavy blanket covered his shoulders, the ends grasped loosely in his hands. When his arms slipped around my body, it enfolded both of us in the warmth.
"When the gods were born," he said, resting his chin on my shoulder, "they made Calseth the center of the nation. Stories say they were born in the middle of the temple complex - before the temples were there, of course."
