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At the side, a lip of stone had been carved out. A body-length of floor space followed the wall around on three sides. In the middle was a natural pool. It took up more than half of the entire room, and I didn't need to ask to know it was the same water that was in the basins beneath the gods' statues. The only other thing in here was myself and Amerlee.
"Ok," she told me. "Saval will need to see your body, to make sure nothing has been altered before we lock the doors. The pair of us will be witnesses that it is actually locked."
"Like, with a key?" I asked.
She nodded. "A heavy padlock. I will be responsible for the key. Tomorrow, when dawn breaks, she will repeat this process in reverse, letting each of you out in turn. Your marks will be read and recorded, and your Path declared. So, that means I have a question for you. Do you want Jamik to wait upstairs?"
I thought about it for only a second before shaking my head. "No. I want him here too. Both of you."
"He'll like that," she said, and then held out her hand. "Your robe, Priestess?"
I was unbuttoning the last button when Saval slipped inside. "The water is safe to drink," she told me. "There's a chamber pot under the table if you need it. The candles are marked so you can track the time. If it goes out, there is a striker on the table between them. It will be dark, but you can find it by feel. Now..." She set her clipboard against her hip. "I need to make sure your markings have not been altered."
I slipped off my robe, passed it to Amerlee, and held out my arms. "Should I turn?"
"Please," Saval said.
When I made it all the way around, she smiled. "Good luck, Nariana. I can't wait to see how Zeal works when he has a willing partner."
She and Amerlee turned, and the heavy wood door thumped closed, the sound echoing through the cavern with a strange finality. Next, something clanked. A second later, there was another sound, this one smaller. The lock. After that, the only thing I could hear was the quiet drip of water sliding down the walls and into the pool of tears.
Chapter 35
Eladehl
The stone bench was cold enough to make my balls suck up. Glancing down, I realized it wasn't doing my dick any favors, either. At least I wasn't shivering. That would've made this alongvigil. Thankfully, the water was warm, but I didn't want to spend an entire day in there. I'd only dipped my fingers in it. In truth, I was a little nervous about sticking anything else beneath the surface.
What if I submerged myself and came out with markings on my legs for the Path of Action? Or worse, the Path of the Word! The idea of spending days locked in a library sounded like nothing more than torture. I'd known I was meant for the Path of the Body since I was thirteen years old. Not once had I doubted it.
I still didn't, but Terina, my mentor, had reminded me that we didn't always get the Path we expected, but we always got the one we deserved. I wasn't sure what I deserved, though. I'd lashed out at Nari yesterday, ruining what might be our last day with her. Why had I been so stupid? Until this moment, I hadn't been able to understand what she was so scared of.
And now, looking at that water, wondering what it would put on my skin, I finally got it. The fear of being let down was a lot stronger than I'd ever expected. Twice now, I'd thought about getting in. The first time, I decided it would be too cold in here afterwards. The second? Well, I'd never made it.
Pushing off the bench, I once again made a lap around the edge. It was more like pacing, since I had to turn and retrace my steps. I also wasn't the first person to do this. The stones here were smooth, worn that way by how many feet? Hundreds, probably. Possibly thousands.
Knowing Nari, she'd walked right into the water as soon as her room had been locked. She'd probably gotten marks that had made her happy. She deserved it. Not just because she and Zeal seemed to have some special relationship, but just because she was a good person. Not perfect - no one was - but there was something sogoodabout her. The kind of good that made the people around her feel just a little special.
She might not be the smartest person in our class, nor even the most driven. She was indecisive at times and too decisive at others. She was definitely stubborn, but I loved that about her. I never had to worry that I was pushing her too far. The best part, though, was that she'd made Wraythe and me even closer.
I'd started standing up for him in second year. He was tall, awkward, and funny-looking. The other kids had picked on him about it, and it had pissed me off. When I'd told them to leave him alone or I'd kick their asses, I never thought it would go past that. Instead, the funny-looking boy had grown into a monster. When my face had been covered with zits, he'd made sure they all left me alone. We'd found this strange friendship, the kind that felt more like we didn't care, but I knew that was a lie.
The man was my closest friend. He wasn't pretty, but the truth was that I could appreciate those muscles. The best part was that he didn't care. I couldn't count the number of times he'd teased me, flexing his bicep so I could paw at it, and then telling me a man like him was meant for the girls. I'd always expected him to be a little weird about me liking guys, but the big lug had surprised me.
He'd walked in on me kissing a boy once. The pair of us had been in my bed, my hand down his pants, and Wraythe had stepped in, closed the door, and told me not to stop, he just needed my notes. I was pretty sure that was when I decided we'd be together forever. He hadn't made it weird at all.
Then we'd met Nariana. Well, he had. When I'd walked into the courtyard, I'd been convinced she was part of the group teasing him, but then I looked closer. The way she was pressed against his body was real, and he'd cradled her like something he wanted to protect. At that moment, I’d decided I liked her. Anyone who could see past Wraythe's harsh features and enormous size was the kind of person I wanted to be around.
I just hadn't expected her to turn those lovely honey-colored eyes on me. When I'd teased her about kissing Wraythe and then me, I'd honestly never expected her to do it. When she did, I expected him to walk away - or push me off his girl. We'd laugh about it, he'd win the lady, and that would be that.
Instead, we'd found something better. Between the time I first kissed a boy - Anver - and when I met her, I'd "dated" as much as an acolyte could. I'd had boyfriends, girlfriends, and people I pretended to like. Most of those were childish relationships that didn't really count, except they had. Each one had been about who I belonged to and who belonged to me. I knew the expectations had mostly come from our childhood before we were surrendered, but it was still there.
If I was with someone, I was supposed to be with only them. I was supposed to hate the idea of someone else touching their body. I wasexpectedto get jealous. Yet the moment Wraythe had let me pin Nariana against him, I'd realized what I'd been missing. Watching his hands on her? Seeing the way he bent to kiss her so she didn't need to hurt her neck? It made me... happy.
I wanted her to be wanted. I wanted her to feel beautiful. I loved that Wraythe had found someone. It didn't bother me at all that she was the same someone I'd found. I also knew that if I became a Priest of the Body, I would have sex with hundreds of people, and in every way possible. All I'd ever wanted was someone who could accept that andstilllove me. I'd found two of them.
But what if I didn't end up on the Path of the Body? I'd told Nari that I would accept anything, even Obligation, if it meant she'd stay with us. I'd meant it, too. I just hoped that if Zeal put me somewhere else, he'd make sure that Nari and Wraythe ended up together. That man loved her in the purest way possible. It was the kind of devotion that Jamik had for Amerlee, and I often felt like he belonged with her more than me.
The problem was that I needed him. Wraythe had always been my rock to lean on. I had a tendency to act first and think later. He thought first and acted when he had to. What other guardian would be able to tolerate me? Nari? She had the mind for the Path of Protection, but not the strength. Then again, that would come. If Zeal decided that was where she belonged, I knew she'd end up good at it. Eventually. With alotof work.
