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“Yes, I do.” He stepped back and squared his shoulders. “I’ve been an idiot. I thought that Cash wasn’t good enough for you. I thought that just because he’s never taken any relationship seriously, that he couldn’t be serious about you. I didn’t want you to be just another girl on his roster. But someone, much wiser than me, made me see that I’m not really in any position to judge people by their pasts. You know glass houses and all. And also, that you and Cash have an A and B relationship that I needed to C my way out of.”
“Was it Ray?” Ray was the only person that I knew of that Billy considered wise.
Billy shook his head. “Ray tried to talk to me, but I didn’t listen.”
“Hank?” I knew that he respected Hank, since he’d practically raised him.
“Reagan. She sat me down and told me that she’d given me ample time to remove my head from my ass, but since it seemed I’d gotten mighty comfortable with it being there, she would gladly remove it for me. She explained that if she had held me to the same standards I was holding Cash to, we wouldn’t be together. She said that she chose to believe that my romantic history had nothing to do with my relationship with her and if I wasn’t willing to give Cash the same benefit of the doubt, I didn’t deserve to have you, Cash, or her in my life. She also said that you were a grown woman who was more than capable of deciding who to be with, and I needed to get over myself or else.”
“Or else what?” I asked, wondering what she’d threatened.
Billy’s eyes widened. “She didn’t say, and I didn’t want to find out.”
I made a mental note to give Reagan a big hug the next time I saw her. And maybe some chocolate. She definitely deserved chocolate.
Billy sighed. “So, I’m sorry Shadow, I really am.”
“It’s okay.” I assured him.
“No, it’s not. Cash is in love with you and I know that part of the reason he hasn’t told you or done anything about it is because of me.”
I shook my head. “He’s not in love with me.”
“Yes, he is.” Billy said with conviction in his voice. “I know him. He’s my best friend. He’s like a brother to me and I’ve been an—”
“Asshole,” I finished at the same time as he did.
“Well, if the hole fits.” Billy shrugged.
I chuckled.
“Do you love him, Shadow? I know he loves you, but do you love him?” I nodded and I felt tears fill my eyes once again. I did love him, which was why I wasn’t going to stand in the way of him having the family he always wanted.
“Then what are you doing here?”
“It’s complicated.” I didn’t know what Billy knew about Amelia or Marissa.
“Is this about his kid?”
“You know about her?”
“Of course, I know about her. He’s my best friend and he’s a daddy now.”
I nodded. I was happy for him. I was. He always wanted to have a family and now he was going to have it. I looked down because I was pretty sure that my happiness for Cash was not evident since my face probably looked like someone had run over my puppy.
“Cheyenne,” Billy said my name, my actual name, not Shadow.
I looked up.
“He doesn’t want to be with Marissa. They have a baby and I know that Cash is going to be an incredible dad, but that doesn’t change what he feels for you.”
“You don’t know that.”
“Yes, I do.”
“How do you know that?” I knew that Billy prided himself on his people skills and ‘knowing’ Cash, but he wasn’t a psychic, he couldn’t tell the future.
“Do you think you were the first stop on my apology tour?” he asked.
“What?” I shook my head.
“I just came from Cash’s. We talked about what a dick I was and why I was. I told him that he didn’t need it, because you were both adults, but that he had my blessing. I’m Team Cashenne.”
My eyes widened. “I never thought I’d hear you say that.”
He chuckled. “I mean, I did throw up in my mouth a little, but…”
I laughed and hugged him. I still didn’t know what was going to happen between me and Cash but I was happy that Billy and Cash were okay. They were family, maybe not by blood, but they were brothers.
