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“I think it’s time. I can’t hide out here forever. It’s time for me to prove to myself that I can make it in the real world.”
“This wouldn’t have anything to do with my daughter, would it?” He quirks a brow.
“Sir?” I shake my head, caught off guard by his question.
“It’s alright.” He chuckles. “I’ve known for weeks.” He bends down and picks up a couple tools, dropping them in the toolbox in the back of the Gator before turning back to me.
“How?” I don’t even try to deny it. I can see by the look on his face he wouldn’t believe me anyway.
“Call it a father’s intuition,” he says. “Plus my wife told me.” A rare smile spreads across his face.
“I... I don’t.”
“You don’t have to say anything, Thad. Laken is a beautiful, driven young woman. You’d have to be blind not to see how incredible she is. Everyone needs someone like her in their life. The only question I have is why did you let her go?”
“I didn’t, she left.”
“We both know that’s not true. She left because you let her go not the other way around. Why?”
“Because she deserves better than me,” I tell him truthfully, having known that from the instant I laid my eyes on her.
“Why? Because of your past?”
“Among other things.” I nod.
“Does she know about any of it?”
I shake my head, having never had the balls to tell her the truth.
“Do you think it would have changed anything if you had?”
“Probably not.” I shrug.
“I don’t think you’re giving my daughter enough credit. Laken is strong and she loves with her whole heart unconditionally. If she cares for you the way I think she does, she wouldn’t judge you based on who you were. She’d see the man you are now. But something tells me you already knew that. I think maybe you’re more scared that shewillaccept you.”
“I’m sorry I didn’t come to you.”
“Don’t be. You’re entitled to your private life as is Laken. As long as she’s safe and happy then so am I. I didn’t say anything because she did seem happy, at least for a while.”
“We both were,” I admit, the sinking feeling in my stomach growing more prominent.
“I don’t know what happened between the two of you, but I’ll say this. You’re a good man, Thad. You deserve the same happiness as everyone else. You just have to be willing to accept it. You can’t punish yourself forever.”
“I slipped last night. Whiskey, not drugs. But still, I slipped. Guess I’m not that different from a year ago after all.”
“Do you have any urge to use?”
“Not even a little bit.”
“Want another drink?”
“Hell no.” I shake my head, having been reminded today how shitty you feel after a night of drinking.
“Exactly.” He claps his hands together. “You think I don’t have my moments? We all do. It doesn’t mean you haven’t changed. It doesn’t mean you’re undeserving of happiness. It means you’re human. The important thing is that you recognize why you slipped and you don’t let it happen again.”
“It won’t happen again,” I insist.
“Good. Now come on. We’ve got a lot of ground to cover and not a lot of daylight left.” He nods toward the Gator, going right back into work mode.
It’s a rare moment when you get to see this side of Henry Roth. In fact, I think this is only the second conversation I’ve had with him pertaining to anything real since I arrived here last summer. Like then, he says his peace and moves on, not one to linger on anything for too long.
He waits until I’ve climbed into the passenger side of the Gator before saying more. “If you’re serious about leaving the ranch we can talk more about it later. See how we can help get you set up.”
“I appreciate that, Henry. I appreciate everything you have done for me over this past year. You gave me an opportunity to rebuild my life when no one else would.”
“You’re family, Thad,” he says, clapping me on the shoulder. “And around here we take care of our family.”
