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“I will. I should probably get back to my dad.”
“Yeah, of course.”
“We’ll talk later, okay?”
“Okay.”
“Bye.” I hang up the phone without waiting for a response.
“Who was that?” I jump at the sound of my mom’s voice, turning to see her standing behind me.
“Mom!” I exclaim. “What are you doing here? I thought you were going home to rest.”
“I tried, but as soon as I got home all I wanted to do was come back. That’s my husband in there.” She gives me a sad smile, causing wrinkles to bunch around her eyes.
It’s only been a couple of months since I last saw my parents but it feels like it’s been so much longer.
I’m every bit my mom. If she were younger you would swear we were twins. We have the same blonde hair, though hers is now mostly gray. The same blue eyes. The same nose. We’re even built the same, though she’s a little heavier than I am now, and we both stand at exactly five-four. But personality wise I am one hundred percent my father. Independent, smart mouthed, and about as stubborn as they come.
“Well you should have stayed at home. I told you, I’ve got this under control.”
“I know you do, honey, but one day when you’re married you’ll understand.”
I refrain from telling her that I have no intention of ever getting married. She’s still holding out for a wedding and grandbabies. I’ve never had the heart to tell her that I don’t want either of those things anymore.
“I get it. He’s sleeping right now.” I gesture to my father’s door.
“Who were you talking to on the phone?” she asks her original question again, her eyes going to the device clutched in my hand before coming back to my face.
“No one. Just a friend from work. I had to let someone know that I wouldn’t be in for the next couple of days.”
Her face falls slightly.
“I’m so sorry to have you come all the way down here. I just... It seemed really serious. If you could have seen him laying on that floor fighting for air. It was the scariest moment of my life.”
“Mom.” I reach for her, pulling her into a hug. “He’s going to be okay,” I reassure her, holding her for a long moment before finally stepping back. “And don’t apologize for calling me. I came because I wanted to be here.”
“I know. But you have a life and a job and you can’t just pick up on a whim and fly hundreds of miles every time Dad or I have a health scare. We’re not getting any younger, you know.”
“Which is exactly why I will always drop everything to be here for you. You’re my parents. It’s my job to make sure you’re okay.”
“I think you’ve got that backward, honey. I think it’s our job to make sure you’re okay.”
“When I was young, yes. Now, the roles reverse,” I tell her matter of factly.
“I’m so proud of you. I hope you know that. You really have grown into such a beautiful and strong young woman.”
“I’m not really sure I can be classified asyounganymore, but thanks, Mom. That really means a lot.”
“Thirty-two is still young. Besides, it doesn’t matter how old you are, you will always be my baby.” She wraps her fingers around my hand and squeezes. “Come on, let’s go check on Dad.” She smiles before stepping past me.
I follow her inside and we spend the next two hours catching up on life. I purposely avoid telling her anything about Harris. What’s the point? I don’t want to get her hopes up when I already know where this is going. Even if Harris is serious and he wants something long term, I’m not at a point in my life that I’m ready for that. I’m pretty certain I never will be.
I sometimes wonder if James hadn’t cheated and things hadn’t ended the way they did, or if Dylan hadn’t cheated on me with my best friend in high school, if I would feel differently about love.
It’s not that I’m immune to it or I have some kind of special ability to turn it off, because I don’t. I simply make the conscious decision to rule with my head and not my heart. In doing so, the last few years have been easier and less complicated than ever before.
I thought it would be difficult, giving up what I thought I wanted for a simpler life, but it wasn’t. In fact, it’s been one of the easiest things I’ve ever done. Or at least it was until Harris entered the picture with his incredibly good looks and charming personality. It’s in the small moments with him that I see the things I’m missing. The things I had forgotten about in regard to love. Like how it feels to have someone look at me the way he looks at me.
