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Chapter 31
There’s No Place Like Home
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If I’ve learned nothing else from this adventure, I know now that what I love is what I value. And vice versa. It needs no more quantification thanthat.
~Big Book of Fairyland, “PersonalObservations”
Blackbird raised elegantwinged eyebrows. “He’s where you might expect.”
She walked to the window and I followed. Outside, the Black Dog—absurdly large in this context—played in the snow with Puck. He had hold of the long scarf and tugged at it while Puck flailed in a snowdrift. I sighed, torn between laughing at their antics and fear that Rogue might be lost to the Dog forever.
“Why hasn’t he changed back?”
“He can’t. Not here.” Blackbird looked, not at the pair in the snow, but out at the looming Tower. “You have to take him back. Take them both back. But I understand if you want to stay here, in your home. I can go instead.”
I was already shaking my head, mildly surprised at myself. “This isn’t my home anymore.” If it ever was.That’s why I felt like an alien my entire life.Walter had summed it up well. Changelings out of place.
“Will he change back, once we get through? Will he…be himself again?”
“I don’t know,” Blackbird replied, regret in her voice. “We’ve been here for days. That’s a long time.”
“I gave Darling Hercules Goliath his fae body back.”
She blinked at me, long and slow. “Did you now?”
“But he still thinks like a cat.”
The Black Dog tackled Puck, tumbling him through the drifts, snow flying everywhere. Would I be able to stand it, having Rogue’s body back powered by the mind of a dog? Was it even fair to him? I imagined the alternative. I could load up a car and the three of us could drive down to Laramie once the storm cleared. Maybe I could get my job back. Maybe I could find Isabel and rescue her from whatever had become of her. Eventually I’d have to face my mother. But could I?
I’d either have to continue to pretend to be her daughter or tell the truth. It would be far easier if I could tell her where her true child was, what kind of life she lived. That meant going back to Faerie to find her.
I could make a life here again, with my very smart Dog, my daughter and Isabel. Or go help Frank and Fergus with saving the world.
It sounded empty.
I’d never believed in true love and now I thought I might wither away without it.
And you can’t save everyone. Maybe it would be enough to get my own family to the watering hole. I could maybe come back later. Especially if some of the gates had been blown open. The world would undoubtedly still need saving tomorrow.
“Would you hold her?”
Blackbird smiled and took the baby. “Always.”
In the mudroom, I found a pair of boots to fit, along with a parka, hat and gloves. Frank hadn’t changed, always prepared for lady visitors. In fact, he had even hung a mirror, for someone to fix her hair or freshen her lipstick on the way in or out. I made myself look, to see who I might be in my old world.
No longer myself, for sure.
The silver pattern on my face didn’t glitter, but stood out like the raised lines of scar tissue, the skin twisted and puckered beneath. I might have gone through a car’s windshield sideways. Oddly, it didn’t bother me. After all I’d been through, I deserved a few scars, a lasting testament that I’d been wounded unto death and healed.
Outside, the Dog spotted me immediately, leaping through the snow with glee and knocking me back into a drift. He licked my face while I sputtered and thrashed. Puck threw a snowball at me, then sang “Sing a Song of Sixpence.”
I looked into the Dog’s eyes, seeing and feeling nothing of Rogue. Staying here would be a safe choice, but I had to take the chance of saving him too.
“Puck—we’re going back.”
“Won’t that be a pretty sight to set before the king?” He replied, kicking up snow.
