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“I’m going to go shower and change before I head out,” Phoebe said, waving as she walked away from the group.
“So the Tavern is still going strong, right?” Kevin asked Colin, referring to the only bar within walking distance from the camp.
“I don’t think that place will ever close,” Colin replied. “Maybe it’s a money laundering operation, or maybe I’ve been watching too much Ozark.”
“You should join us for a drink tonight,” June said, the words tumbling out of her mouth before she could stop them.
Jesus Christ, Kevin mouthed at June from behind Colin’s back. June felt her face heat again and really hoped Colin thought it was her pale skin burning. She would rather him think she didn’t understand adequate sun protection than realize she was embarrassed to ask him to get a drink.
Colin coughed, his eyes flickering from June to Kevin and back to June. “Who all will be there?” His left hand reached up and rubbed his shoulder, squeezing and releasing at an easy tempo, his neck pulled to one side to deepen the stretch, revealing the lines of his neck and jaw. June did her best to not stare with an open mouth.
“Us two, maybe one more teacher?” June replied quickly. “Just a welcome back to camp kind of thing. You know, since you haven’t done camp with us before.”
“Did you do this with the old director?” June’s insides froze and she felt a ripple of embarrassment at her unprofessionalism. This was definitely crossing some sort of line, right?
“Uh, not exactly. But aren’t we rethinking the entire world right now?” June could feel herself scrambling for any foothold in this conversation. She looked at Kevin to throw her a lifeline, but he chuckled to himself and June knew this was payback for all of the meddling she had performed when he began dating John. “So, like, we all need people and connection and it could be a great way to just decompress or begin your week on a positive note…”
“I guess it would be okay,” Colin said, more to himself than anyone else. June, however, was on a roll and barely heard him.
“So, I mean, you could come and just grab a soda - there’s never any pressure to drink! We’re not in college anymore, so those days are behind us and…”
“I’ll be there,” Colin said, louder this time. “I have to do a quick meeting with the counselors after dinner, but then I can just walk up and meet you all there.”
“Fantastic!” June squeaked. Once again, she found herself unable to end a conversation in a normal, not weirdo way. Kevin, for once, picked up on her distress and made their goodbyes, promising that they would meet up with Phoebe back down in the city.
Back at the cabin, June showered, attempted to tame her hair, then sat in the living room of the teacher’s cabin, her laptop open to job applications, but she spent the entire time she was there scrolling on her phone. That had become a typical pattern - she wanted to start applying for more jobs, but couldn’t be pushed to take that first step, to actually write the words on a document about why she wanted the job. She had applied for a few, but nothing she felt passionate about, just plug-and-submit applications.
How did you leave a job that you had worked in for ten years? Shit, she had even done her student teaching at her school. It was a decade of very specific experience that June wasn’t sure how to communicate with people outside the world of education. She had a playlist of unlistened to podcasts about transferring those skills to the “corporate world”, but, just like the cover letters, she couldn’t make herself press play.
Sighing, June flopped back onto the couch and closed her eyes. Perhaps this week would provide some moment of realization, some flash of inspiration that made her next step clear. Out of nowhere, Colin’s face, his small grin, floated into her mind. June groaned, and acknowledged to herself that she had, over the course of five hours, developed a tiny bit of a crush. Which was nice, in a way. With the exception of a few friends who had hung around from undergrad, most of her social network were teachers at her school, which meant that she saw them every single day and didn’t really meet new people. Thinking for a second, June realized that the last new person she had really invited into her life was Kevin’s husband John. She picked up her phone, scrolled to Phoebe's number, and thought about sending a text message to follow up on her invitation to hang out back in Vanberg.
No, that was weird. Definitely coming on too strong as a new friend. She’d wait until she was back down the mountain and reach out to Phoebe, connect with her then. Her head slightly throbbing, June took a pull from her water bottle and decided that she also needed more caffeine. Shooting Kevin a text that said she would meet him at the dining hall, she tossed on her fleece jacket and began to walk across camp, draining her water bottle on the way there.
In the hour before dinner, the students were allowed to have free reign of the main area of camp, playing games or just hanging out and talking. June smiled as she took in a group of children playing an incredibly elaborate game of tag, another group of kids sitting in a circle playing a hand clapping game, pockets of students hanging on picnic tables chatting with each other. It felt good to be out of the classroom, not having to argue with them or perform for their limited attention.
Maybe it wasn’t so bad to be a teacher. She was good at it, even though it had been soul sucking this year. Summers off were nice, even though they were growing shorter and hotter every year and the pay freezes meant she couldn’t travel as much. Next year might get better, though most teachers agreed this was the tip of the iceberg. Shoving her hands in her pockets, June had just begun a train of thought that ended with her staying in education when she heard the shouting.
“Hey, step back!”
“Fuck you, man!”
“Get the fuck away from me, I swear!”
“What are you going to do about it, pussy?”
Two boys who were in one of June’s classes were standing three feet apart, shouting at each other, their body language indicating that both of them were ready to throw the first punch if either stepped closer. Groaning to herself, June began to briskly walk over to calm the situation, but was beaten to the group by Colin of all people. She was beginning to think she was developing the ability to summon him with her unprofessional thoughts.
“Hey, you two,” he said, his voice firm but gentle. “What’s going on? That’s not the kind of language we expect here at camp.”
“He won’t fucking leave me alone!” the first boy, Evan, said, his eyes red and angry, shining with tears he refused to shed. “I just want some space and he keeps following me!”
Colin turned to the second boy, who June recognized as Xavier, one of the stars on the water polo team. His tan skin was flushed red and all of his small muscles were tensed up. “I want to talk to him! He’s my friend!”
Colin took a deep breath, then said, “Can we both walk over to that tree and take some time to figure it out?” He indicated a large pine tree to the side of the open, grassy field. “On our walk there, I’d really appreciate it if none of us talked and used that time to get our thoughts together. Is that okay?” He looked from Evan to Xavier and each boy jerkily nodded.
He’s a wizard, June thought, remembering all the times those two boys - who did genuinely like each other and wanted to be friends - had gotten into an argument over the smallest things in June’s class, like whose turn it was to have the TechDeck or which boy was going to take the papers up to the turn-in bin. Like so many of the students coming back from so much time without in-person schooling, these two desired friendship and connection, but had developed unbalanced and often ineffective ways of trying to make friends. June continued to be impressed as Colin led the boys over to the tree, and she followed a few feet behind, curious to see what happened. At this point in the school year, June was so frustrated with these types of incidents she most likely would have just told the two boys to figure it out on their own and get over it, a realization that made June uncomfortable. Where had her compassion gone? Evan was on the autism spectrum and Xavier spent a lot of time taking care of his newborn sister - these boys needed the love and care and attention and coaching that June had used to love providing her students. When did she stop being able to give those things?
“One more question - can I put my hands on your shoulder to help calm you down if you’re stressed? I won’t touch you if you don’t want it though.” Colin was saying, as the boys and he reached the tree. He asks kids for consent for everything, June observed, impressed. Her next thought surprised her: That is so fucking sexy.
