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‘Perhaps it’s my fault, Tom. If I’d stood up to her when it first started—’
‘Felix, this isnotyour fault.’ I put my hand on his shoulder. ‘You have to leave her. This isn’t going to get better. Vinegar doesn’t turn into wine.’
‘I went to see a lawyer a few weeks ago,’ Felix admits. ‘But then the shit hit the fan at Copper Beech, and I’ve been too busy trying to salvage what I can for my investors before the company goes belly up.’
A nasty thought suddenly occurs to me. ‘You said things have been like this between you and Stacey for years,’ I say. ‘No one’s ever guessed?’
His mouth twists. ‘No. We’re the perfect power couple. Everyone wants to be us, hadn’t you heard?’
‘So what’s changed?’ I ask warily. ‘Why is she suddenly involving my wife?’
‘I don’t know, Tom. But Stacey never does anything without good reason. If I were you, I’d be worried.’ He looks directly at me. ‘Veryworried.’
chapter 35
millie
‘He’s obviouslylying,’ I exclaim. ‘His wife turned up at our house this morning with a black eye! What else is he going to say – she walked into a door?’
‘Millie, I wish you’d just listen to what I’m trying to tell you,’ Tom says with a heavy sigh. ‘I’m not saying I believe Felix, although I’ve got to say he was pretty convincing. But we don’t know what’s really going on between him and Stacey behind closed doors: that’s thepoint. They could both be lying, or they could both be telling the truth – some version of it, anyway. And I’m not asking you to stop being friends with Stacey. All I’m asking is that you don’t take everything she says as gospel, that’s all. At least accept her truth may not behis.’
I open the fridge and take out a head of celery, slamming it onto the cutting board. ‘I can’t believe you went to see him,’ I say furiously. ‘A woman seeks refuge at our house, and your response is to go and ask her abuser how he feels about it!’
‘I didn’t realise MeToo meant men are no longer entitled to a fair hearing.’
‘Don’t be glib.’
‘I’m not beingglib. I’m serious, Millie. Has it never occurred to you to wonder why a woman you barely know is suddenly sharing the darkest secrets of her marriage with you?’
‘Right back at you, Tom,’ I retort. ‘You hardly know Felix, and suddenly he’s spilling his soul about his—’ I pause to draw ironic air-quotes, ‘—secret shame?’
‘Yes, but he’s not treating me like we’re soul sisters! He only told me because he’s worried about you. Come on, Millie. You viewed Stacey’s housetwice, and next thing you’re off to lunch and yoga practice together and before you know it she’s your BFF. That doesn’t strike you asodd?’
‘No more odd than the woman who viewedourhouse buyingyouexpensive linen shirts,’ I say tartly.
Tom has the grace to look uncomfortable. I have a feeling that whatever was going on with him and Harper may have withered on the vine: he’s stopped mentioning her name, and the last time I checked his phone – he’s restored Meddie’s birthday as his password – the only suspicious texts were the ones between him and Felix.
I could be wrong, of course.
‘Millie, I understand why you’re upset.’ He puts his hand on my forearm to still my furious chopping, and waits until I’ve put down the knife and he has my full – if aggrieved – attention. ‘I know it can take a woman years to disclose her abuse. I’m not making light of her accusations. But I can’t ignore the fact Felix just disclosed tome. He insists the only times he’s ever hit Stacey have been in a sexual context, and at her instigation.She, on the other hand, has attacked him numerous times and put him in hospital with concussion.’
‘According tohim.’
He sighs again. ‘Yes, according to him.’
‘And you believe him?’
‘I believe him, Millie, but even if I’m wrong –especiallyif I’m wrong – there’s something very dark going on between him and Stacey either way. I don’t want you getting sucked into it.’
I can’t believe Tom’s allowed himself to be taken in byFelix like this. I’m not naive: it’s clear there’s something dark and twisty at the heart of the Porters’ marriage. Unlike my mother, Stacey has the financial wherewithal to leave her husband and stand on her own two feet, and she has a confidence in herself and her own abilities that only comes from making your own way in the world. My mother had neither. I accept Stacey’s reasons for staying with her husband are complex and there’s a part of her thatwantsto.
But Felix has taken the tiny kernel of truth in this ambivalence and confected it into something hideous. He’s not avictim. He’s gaslighting my husband. He’s plausible and convincing and that makes him dangerous.
‘Felix Porter is a controlling, abusive bully,’ I snap, picking up the knife again and scraping the chopped celery into a salad bowl. ‘I’veseenhow he treats his wife and the way he talks to her. When we were at the Hurlingham, he tracked her phone and then came down there and literally dragged her away from us! Don’t tell mehe’sthe one being victimised.’
‘Millie, we don’t know the backstory to that. You’re Stacey’s friend, so you’re seeing Felix through her lens, and she’s obviously not objective. Maybe there was a reason he—’
‘There’s no reason that excuses putting your hands on a woman, Tom!’
