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Slipping back into Sam’s house, she saw he was still sleeping, so she went to the spare bedroom and closed the door. She opened her bag and pulled out a pair of panties. No more going commando. Commando in someone else’s pants. Sexy Sam’s pants. Had he gone commando in them ever?
She bit her lip as heat pooled in her core at the thought. Quickly, she pulled on her panties, then she put the pants back on, even if she had her own clothes. She liked his. She knew she shouldn’t think about him like that, but it was hard not to. He was hot. Ever since the first day she had seen him, she had thought so. Back then, it was just a silly teen crush, but now it could easily turn into a full-blown woman crush. He was so nice to look at. Not that she would ever act on it—he had been her teacher, after all. Granted, he hadn’t been her teacher for almost six years, but in her mind, he was still lecturing her about history. Maybe she should tell him that the civil war has never come up in a conversation in her adult life.
Sitting on the bed, she felt better than she had in weeks. Everyone had asked if the wedding was stressing her out, but it wasn’t the wedding; it was being married. There were things about Jason that bothered her. From little things, like his constant need to be right, to the big things, like how he didn’t like her body. Looking back, she saw that the pieces were all in place for her to bail on her wedding.
If she had gotten married eight months before, she would have done it and been happy—for a while at least. But seven months ago, she had joined the book club. It had made her feel differently about the people in the little town she grew up in, a bit more accepting.
That early afternoon in January, she was supposed to have lunch with her dad after her morning shift at the library. But he had bailed for some reason, so she had eaten lunch alone at the café. Reading a book, she listened to the conversations around her. At that point, a name caught her ears: Ted Bundy. Who was talking about him in a small café in North Dakota?
In the booth behind her, two ladies were talking about starting a book club where they would read books on serial killers and then discuss it. When they discussed the time and place with Mia, the owner of the café, Natalie knew she would be crashing the event. She wanted in. Though she didn’t know what book they were reading, she knew enough about him to bluff it.
Her lunch was disrupted, however, when she saw her ex-friend Hazel May walking down the aisle. Hazel, of course, looked at Natalie like she had just killed Hazel’s puppy. Sadly, it was worse—she had killed her family. Lunch half-eaten, she threw down some money before anything happened with Hazel or her family.
It was the next day when she actually met everyone. Ruth Kennedy from the insurance office, who was five or six years older than Natalie, and Mia, who was about Ruth’s age. Mia had invited her cousin Mandy Nordskov, who was the new nurse at the town’s health clinic. The only actual stranger was the bank’s new president, Tess Thorn. They were great ladies who shared an interest in serial killers. It had taken a lot of courage for Natalie to stay when one of the other people there was Hazel May. Mia had somehow put them at ease with alcohol, which had turned into a staple of their gatherings.
Now they got together every other week and talked about serial killers while drinking alcohol. But what actually happened was that the conversation was so good Natalie pushed the group to start recording the talks and release them as a podcast. After releasing a few, they started to get a following and were really enjoying what they were doing—even if Natalie had added more to her already busy plate by doing everything for the podcast.
But mostly Natalie had gained some great new friends, friends who, months before, she would have never had thought she would have anything in common with. Mia would rally the group to events. They had all been involved in the Red River Flood Fundraiser Auction in the spring and the fourth of July celebration. Natalie had Ruth do a book signing that everyone showed up to at the library, even Hazel and her son. And all but Hazel had shown up for Natalie’s rehearsal dinner—they had more fun than she did.
She knew that they were all involved in Natalie leaving the church. Mia was in charge of the escape, but the other four would be involved in some way. That was what friends did. They were who should have been her bridesmaids.
Hazel’s son was hard on Natalie, though she would never admit it to anyone. Her three-year-old looked just like Hazel, just like Henry. The twins had been identical, but their triplet brother looked the same. Just a boy. So that little boy whose name was John Henry always reminded her of what Henry’s kids would have looked like. As long as they weren’t with her. Her dark features would have dominated any kids they would have had together.
Over the past few weeks, melancholy had overtaken Natalie. From missing her lost friends to Hazel’s meltdown just last week. She had wanted to see if Hazel wanted to learn the podcasting business so that when she was gone, Hazel could do it. But Hazel instead thought she was bringing up the past and had a full-blown panic attack. Mia had said that Pastor Ruston had caught her before she could drive away because she would have crashed if she was in a car.
What Hazel had said right before the attack still played in her mind. She had said that they had not been friends anymore when the accident happened and that she had always felt like a third wheel in their threesome. That she had been replaced by her own brother as the third wheel, leaving her behind. Natalie had looked back on her childhood and could actually see it in retrospect. They always had to bring Hazel along. Don’t forget Hazel. Include Hazel. She had been a bad friend. Then Natalie had killed two of Hazel’s threesome from birth. No wonder the woman hated her. Natalie hated herself for what she did.
All through getting ready for the wedding—hair, make-up, dressing—she had wanted to know if Hazel was there. Natalie wouldn’t allow another event in her life to take place without Hazel there. Included. Wanted.
On top of all the Hazel and accident stuff, she had started to think about her mom. Her mom would miss the biggest day of her life. Another person who would miss this day because of Natalie. She watched her dad holding his video camera recording the entire event for “Mom.” Sam had been wrong about her dad recording everything for her mom, who died of cancer when Natalie was six. Instead, her dad recorded everything for the woman who had given Natalie up for adoption at birth. The recordings from the very beginning were addressed to “Mom,” but her mom had still been there when the films had started.
Was it wrong of her to have not contacted her birth mom? Natalie had gotten a letter from her years ago, but she was still enduring surgery after surgery. Patrick had made her write to the woman, just to tell her she was okay, but she didn’t feel okay then. So, she had sent a letter and an old picture of herself from before the accident—there were no photos from after for many years. Even now she could look at a picture of herself and see all the work that had been done to make her look somewhat like she used to. But mostly, she looked completely different.
This week, for the first time in her life, she had searched the internet for information on the woman who had given her life. After the rehearsal dinner had ended and late into the night, she started looking again and thought that she had found something. The names matched, but that was all that matched. The picture that showed the woman with the name of her mother looked nothing like Natalie, except she had green eyes.
The sun was starting to come up, and Natalie wondered when Sam Sullivan was going to kick her out. She had been awful to him when she was in his class, but he had been so cute she had wanted him to notice her. Why? She had no idea.
He still wore his blond hair a little longer than he should, like he forgot to get his hair cut, and those dark brown eyes were forever looking at her in disappointment. Yesterday that disappointment was not there—they were nicer without it. Oddly, he was always only an inch or two taller than her. Taller, actually, since her back surgery had taken her height down an inch.
Looking away from the rising sun, she saw him, all wake-up-sexy and standing in the doorway. She watched him scan the room until his eyes rested on her. Natalie squirmed and forced herself not to compare him to the man she had almost married, a man who was not coming close to measuring up to the teacher.
He folded his arms. “You went home?”
“Yes. Dad had company, so I came back.” She was trying not to smile.
“Faith,” he stated with a nod.
“I only saw their clothes in the living room.” She blushed a little at the thought of how they ended up there.
“Faith then,” he said with confidence.
“How long has that been going on?” She needed to know. Sam didn’t make it sound recent. He made it sound like an ongoing thing, something everyone knew but her. Why wouldn’t he have told her about it?
“Probably since before your accident.” He lost his smile at the word.
“Why didn’t he ever say?” she asked, but he wouldn’t know. She needed to ask her dad about it.
“Maybe he thought you weren’t ready for him to date?”
