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I hate this feeling of losing something that wasn’t mine to begin with. It’s the promise of a possibility, I suppose. But Dean and I both know this thing between us isn’t going anywhere. Even so, I feel like it’s already gone. I should be okay with this.
Wanting to hear from him in some capacity, I text him.
-Why didn’t you tell me I was getting a new car?
-It was a surprise,he replies.
-Liz said you want my car,I send.
-Are you selling it?
-I don’t know yet. I love that car.
-I know you do,he types.
The phone rings suddenly. The screen reads DC.
“Hey, Coop,” I greet.
“Kitty cat.” It’s hard hearing his voice without seeing him. “Are you having a good birthday?”
“It would be better if I’d have spent some of it in your room.” It comes out more of a whine than I intend it to.
“After all this is over, you’ll spend every night in my room,” he promises.
“We both know you won’t want to see my face after I win,” I say seriously.
He sighs on the other end of the line, but moves on. “What have you done so far?”
“Well, the girls insisted on a drive in the new car. We went down Duvall. Drove by Ernest Hemmingway’s house. Then to the lighthouse. Liz and Sheridan wanted to go up to get a good view of the island.”
“You got warmed up for tomorrow?” Dean asks.
“Hell no! Last time I did that I couldn’t walk for two days.” He laughs in that way that warms my insides, and I hate him a little for it.
“I had something delivered to you a few minutes ago,” he tells me.
“It’s not a car, is it?”
He chuckles. “No. It’s much smaller, but I hope you like it.”
“Hey, speaking of cars, what would you do with mine if you bought it?”
“Fix it up myself. A buddy of mine has a car shop I can work in. We can take care of all the dings, repaint it, replace the top.”
“Sounds nice. Dean,” I whisper his name.
“Mm.”
“Are you alone?” I ask, hopeful.
“Yes. But you can’t come over, kitty cat.”
“Would you push me away again if I did? What if I show up wearing nothing but my blue beads?” I run my fingers over my wrist, finding the bracelet I’ve grown so used to.
“Cat, if you came over right now I’d fuck you because I’m not strong enough to say no again. I couldn’t sleep last night, imagining myself between your legs. Tasting you. Inside of you. It was fucking hell.”
I bite my lower lip to squelch my panting at his words. “I want you to taste me. And I want you inside of me.”
