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“I don’t think so. I just need a second.” My voice wavered as the panic coursing through me peeked through the crack in my facade of control.
“You’re pale and your pulse is racing.”
“How do you know that? You can’t feel my pulse in my arms.”
“No, but I can see it.” He let go of one arm and traced a finger over the fluttering vein in my throat. The touch was gentle, but I jumped at the contact. Eyes locked with mine, Remy didn’t move his hand away, instead placing his whole hand on the side of my neck. A sigh escaped me when he slid it around to cup my nape.
He dropped his forehead to mine with his eyes closed, and I followed suit. My lids dropped shut and from one second to the next, I was in my dark space. Like the power had somehow made its way closer to the surface and was begging me to touch it.
Was it because of Remy? Was like calling to like?
“Breathe, Fury. In… and out.” I mirrored his respiration. “Again. Deeper, fill your lungs.” I did, and the spicy scent of him so close to me sank into my bones. It was almost enough to calm me.
Almost.
That black, roiling ball of power that dwelled beyond the purple fire of my life-giving ability was still beckoning to me, imploring me to embrace it.
“How do you do it?” I rasped out the question. Eyes still closed, I brought my hands up to grip Remy’s crisp shirt. It was getting wrinkled to hell in my tight grip, but I didn’t care in the slightest. I’d iron it for him if he had a problem.
“Do what?”
“Resist.” I was terrified to ask the question on the tip of my tongue. It was so revealing, but if anyone could understand what I was up against, it was him. Still, the vulnerability shook me down to my toes.
“I don’t.” His whisper slipped over my lips, the barest brush of air. I shivered in his grasp. “I can’t.”
My eyes opened at that. It didn’t make sense. Of course he did. There weren’t bodies dropping all around Divinity, so he had to be fighting the urge somehow.
“I don’t understand, how are you letting off pent-up energy?”
He searched my face, but I didn’t know what he was hoping to find. Or hoping not to.
“I’ll tell you, Fury, but not now. Not when you’re still furious with me. I care for you, and I want to help, but I’m not so stupid I’d risk you knowing something that could get me killed.”
My eyes bugged at his response. What the hell was he doing that he feared dying for it? And who would dare go up against him? I’d seen what he was capable of in his sleep, so I couldn’t even imagine what would happen if he actually focused his power.
“Can you kill another god?”
“Are you afraid of me, Fury?”
“No, I’m not. At least, not when you’re in control.”
His grip on me tightened, and I could swear he tipped his jaw a little closer, that our lips were nearer than they had been a second ago.
“Good.”
“That doesn’t answer my question.”
“Probably.”
“I know we both have control over death, but is it the same thing?”
“I’m honestly not sure. My father was a lesser death god, and I don’t know anything about my mother. Apparently, she dropped me at his door, but good ol’ Dad gets around, so he never knew which of the goddesses he’d bedded bore his illegitimate son.”
“That’s such an ugly word.”
“Maybe, but it doesn’t change the veracity of it.”
“So is the power you have derived only from your father? Or do you have some secondary ability you haven’t told me about yet?”
