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God, he looked good. I took in his broad chest and shoulders, solid thighs and toned stomach. Despite spending most of the day surrounded by food, he still kept himself in shape, mainly by going running three times a week. Unlike my attempts at exercising, his had certainly paid off. Lorenzo’s body was like a perfectly sculptured statue. Why was my undercarriage failing to appreciate this gorgeous specimen?
I was about to take my clothes off (always a good idea before getting into the shower), but then I froze.
It had been a while since Lorenzo had seen me fully naked. Whereas I used to sleep without anything on when we’d first got together, these days I always wore a loose nightdress to bed so he couldn’t see what lay beneath. Thinking about it, Lorenzo probably hadn’t seen me in the buff since before I’d given birth. And alothad changed since then…
Lorenzo had loved my body and my bump whilst I was pregnant. But now, that firm, blossoming stomach was flabby, saggy and covered in stretch marks. Five months on, I hadn’t lost my baby weight. If anything, I was carrying all of that plus ‘relationship and living in Italy with a chef’ weight too. Lorenzo was always concerned that I wasn’t eating enough. So him feeding me lots of lovely food (and my lack of self-control) meant my days of having a toned figure were long gone.
I knew Lorenzo was with me for more than how I looked, but I still felt self-conscious. Suddenly the idea of standing in the shower with him naked and him running his hands all over my body whilst I lay on the sofa scared the shit out of me.
I wasn’t ready. I didn’t want to see his face fall when he saw what I’d become. EvenItried to avoid looking at myself as much as possible.
‘Do you need some help?’ Lorenzo stepped forward and went to lift up my top. I jumped back. ‘Sorry… I did not mean to…’
And now I’ve just made him feel bad.
‘It’s okay.’ I rested my hand on his. ‘I just… I think I’m leaking. Why don’t you go ahead and take a shower whilst I sort myself out? I’ll shower later. Just meet me in the living room when you’ve finished.’
‘Va bene.’ He kissed me on the forehead and turned on the shower.
I stepped out into the hallway, shutting the bathroom door behind me.
Jeez.I couldn’t even get naked in front of my own boyfriend. And even when I pushed him away, he was still so nice. Patient. Understanding. I was so disappointed in myself. I wanted tonight to be about getting my mojo back. Dipping my toe back in the water. But I’d blown it before even getting off the starting block.
It wouldn’t be forever, though. Now I’d started upping the ante on my exercise regime and tackling my pasta and cake addiction, we could do the showering together thing once I’d lost weight and I was feeling more confident. And we’d need to save the massage thing for another night too. Preferably in the dark, when he couldn’t see my stretch marks and cellulite… Viktor said Purity would be bringing out a new bodycare range soon, so maybe I’d ask him to send me some early samples that might make them less noticeable. Yep. That was a much better plan.
I thought back to the article. Maybe all wasn’t lost. It said to take things slow. Not to rush. To begin with doing intimate, small things.
Okay. So maybe I wasn’t ready for him to touch me, but I could try touchinghim. Or actually, perhaps a BJ was in order?Yeah. That would make him happy and maybe satisfying Lorenzo could give me a buzz too.
I rummaged through my bedroom drawers and found a black silk dressing gown. That would cover my stomach and my thighs but still look a little bit sexy.
I went into the living room, pushed the coffee table to the side, pulled the big armchair into the centre, then put a cushion on the floor in front.That will protect my knees.
I poured two glasses of Prosecco, moved the candles on the coffee table, then switched off the lights. That way, he could see my face as I went down on him, which I knew he’d like, but it wouldn’t be light enough for him to see the rest of my body.
Good plan.
Lorenzo strutted into the living room naked. As he got closer to the candlelight, I could see his manhood swinging as he walked. He’d always been comfortable without his clothes on.
‘This looks…nice,’ Lorenzo said cautiously, stepping towards me. I could tell from his expression that he wasn’t quite sure what to make of it all. One minute I was suggesting we shower together, then I’d literally run out of the bathroom and now here I was, making the living room look all romantic. ‘Do you want to find a film for us to watch while I get dressed?’
I took a large gulp of Prosecco. Was I sure I was up for this?Yes, yes. It was important. If I was going to do it, though, I needed to get it over and done with before I lost my nerve. Then once I’d finished him off, we could have a nice early night. It had been ages since I’d had a full night of uninterrupted sleep. I couldn’t wait to have a proper rest.
‘No need…’ I took his hand and gently pulled him in front of the armchair. Lorenzo’s eyes popped out of his head, and that wasn’t the only thing that sprung up… ‘If you sit down, there’s something I’d like to do… totry…’
He sat down, still looking confused, but also excited.Christ.I’d almost forgotten how big he got when he was hard.
I knocked back the rest of my drink, slamming the glass on the table. It was time to get down to business. I spread his legs, kneeled on the cushion between them, leant forward, then slid him inside my mouth. Lorenzo groaned loudly. That was a good start. He’d probably thought his days of getting BJs from me were over.
I moved my head up and down. It wasn’t so bad. For a start, I was still awake, which was an achievement in itself. The way I was feeling earlier, I thought I’d need matchsticks to keep my eyes open.
I glanced up at him. Lorenzo looked like all of his Christmases had come at once. His eyes were rolling with pleasure and his expression flipped between delight and gentle moans. The mission was swiftly being accomplished. At least in terms of making him happy.
Normally the thought that I was satisfying him would be enough to get my juices flowing, but still nothing was happening. I just couldn’t find a way to relax my mind and let go. Instead of fantasising about all the things we could do to each other, a million other thoughts were racing through my head.
First I started worrying whether I’d tied my dressing gown tight enough. I didn’t want Lorenzo to see the state of me.
Next I started thinking about the mountain of things I had to do tomorrow, including finally having a conference call with Robyn. I’d been trying to speak to her since last week, but we kept missing each other. She’d call me back when I was busy. Then when I returned her call, she was speaking to clients or out of the office, and it wasn’t something I wanted to do over email. I needed to do a video call so I could look her in the eyes.
