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We opened the door to the office, stepped inside and took a seat at the table. It was a different doctor to the one we’d seen last time, but Lorenzo seemed to recognise him. In a small town like this, most people knew each other.
Lorenzo asked me to explain what had happened. As I ran through Leo’s symptoms, the doctor frowned, peering over his glasses and tapping the table impatiently. Clearly he wasn’t used to waiting for a translation. Lorenzo relayed our conversation. The doctor nodded, then got up to take a look at Leo.
As he took Leo’s temperature and spoke to Lorenzo, I desperately wanted to scream,What the hell are you saying? How bad is it?But I knew I had to let him finish. Never had I felt so helpless. So out of control. I was supposed to be Leo’s mother. To protect him from harm. Take care of him at all times. Yet right now, I was about as helpful as a chocolate teapot.
The doctor went back to his desk, prepared a prescription, gave it to Lorenzo and then he stood up, signalling that it was time to go.
‘The doctor says is just fever and Leo’s temperature will be normal again in a few days. No need to worry.’
It felt like a thousand bricks had just been lifted from my shoulders.
Leo was okay. Our son was going to be okay.
I flung my arms around Lorenzo and Leo, then turned to the doctor, relief written over my face. ‘Grazie.’
‘Prego.’ He nodded with a smile.
‘Come, let us go to pharmacy and then take Leo home,’ said Lorenzo.
It didn’t take us long to get back. I gave Leo some water and medicine like the doctor had apparently advised, then put Leo down in his cot.
‘I reckon he’ll sleep for ages now, poor thing.’ I pulled the blanket up to his shoulders.
‘Sì. I have never seen him so bad before.’
‘Tell me about it. I was so scared.’
‘Is okay,mi amore. I was too. But is fine now. Leo will be fine. I will stay with you. I will call work and tell them I cannot come in today.’
‘No, no, it’s okay. You don’t need to.’
‘But I want to make sure Leo is fine. That you are both fine.’
‘We are. We will be.’ I stroked his shoulder. ‘Don’t worry. I’ve got it covered. You go.’
‘Okay. But you call me if you need me,sì?’
‘Will do.’ I hugged him. ‘Thank you for saving the day.’
‘I did not do anything.’ He shrugged his shoulders like it was no big deal. ‘Is our son. Of course we both want him to be safe.Ciao, bella.’
‘Ciao.’
I watched him leave, flopped onto the bed, then let out a loud sigh. Even though I’d told Lorenzo I’d be fine and that I had it covered, the truth was, I wasn’t sure I did at all. Give me a PR campaign to manage and I could do it with my eyes closed, but when it came to this motherhood stuff, most days I felt clueless. Like I was winging it. Today was a prime example. Although I was trying my best, it wasn’t good enough. I had to do better.
Sitting there and not understanding what the doctor was saying about our little boy was a huge wake-up call. We were lucky today, but this dependence could have had much more serious consequences.
What if Leo had got worse and I still couldn’t get hold of Lorenzo? Who would have rescued us then? What would happen if I was out one day and I forgot my phone again? I’d heard stories of people dying abroad because they couldn’t explain their symptoms in the native language. How would I have communicated with the doctors if I had to go to the hospital?
Last time I’d been in a mess like this, I had been a workaholic in a dead-end relationship with my ex and was deeply unhappy. Back then, it had taken the death of my dearest friend and mentor, Albert, who was like my second dad, for me to take a long, hard look at the sorry state of my life. I didn’t want another tragedy to be the catalyst for me taking action. No matter how much I had to do, I needed to get my shit together. I needed to make changes. And I needed to make them now.
