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CHAPTER TWO
Fast Forward Two Years, Six Months, and a Day
June 14, 2022
Stephanie
After a half-day of failing to add useful words to the cowboy novella, I became so frustrated I called an end to the workday. I probably should have gone for a stroll to the park, texted Taylor & Jade to meet up for lunch, or visited the animals at the zoo, but leaving the house took too much energy. Being down this road before, I recognized the signs of depression. The ugly wanted to settle in, take up residence all the while telling me how badly I suck. I was letting myself get stuck in this rut, feeling sorry for myself because this story was whooping my butt. My mind desperately wanted to shut down or run away, either would do. Am I just burned out? I wonder if it would be possible to pull out of this anthology. I don’t need a reason for my agent, editor, and publisher to be angry with me, though. For the hundredth time, I found myself on the couch watching The Notebook. It’s one of my favorite movies of all time. I’m a sucker for the older angsty romance movies. My Grams crocheted a lightweight throw blanket for me years ago. Pulling it from the back of the couch over myself, I snuggled deeper into the cushions. Somewhere around the scene where Noah returns home from the war, I feel my body finally relaxing; my muscles, letting go of the tightness as I mold into the sofa. My eyes are blinking rapidly, burning. I close them for just a minute to relieve the tiredness. Next thing I know, I’m not me anymore. Where am I? It only takes a few seconds to realize I’m the character of Allie Hamilton and I’m in the scene where she has left Noah’s house confused, crying, and upset with her mother and herself, she… I soon arrived back at my motel in Seabrook. Entering the room, I expect to see Lon Hammond waiting for me, just like in the movie, but the scenery has changed. So have I. I’m back to being myself and I’m sitting in the guy’s changing area of the sports complex at our old high school. Before me stands the handsomest man I’ve ever known. Logan Petersen, my high school best friend and not-so-secret-crush. He’s been playing hockey since the age of six, and is currently the captain of the Niagara Knights. Adulthood has only enhanced his features, making him hotter than ever. We’re alone, the other team members have already gone. Logan smirks at me because I’m staring at him relentlessly. He is only half-dressed after his post-game shower. He has to know the effect he has on me. The man is flawless and so beautiful he takes my breath away. His messed up, towel dried hair looks darker than it is because it’s still wet. He shakes his head at me, teasing me for ogling, his grin showing off those sexy-ass dimples that have always made me weak. It feels so real; us being here together, just like I stepped into the past. Only here I’m not the same shy geeky girl he hung out with in high school. I’m bolder, stronger, and ready to go after what I want, what I’ve wanted for a long time. I can even smell his spicy cologne. That sexy fragrance mixed with his natural scent always makes me want to do naughty things to him. Damn if I still don’t want him to do dirty things to me as well. His shirtless, tanned upper body is on display. Being the hockey god he is, his muscles are lean and hard, each one perfectly defined and taunting me. Fuck, I can’t keep my eyes from wandering down that sexy V. Is my mouth watering? I swallow, hard. Dragging my eyes back up to roam over his body again, I observe something that wasn’t there before. There is a tattoo on his chest. O.M.G. Looking closer, I study my name written in a large, pretty, cursive font that was formed in a wide arch with Sweet Girl, written in smaller script right below it, straight across, inside the arch. It’s centered over his heart. I gasp out loud. He couldn’t… he wouldn’t have. Looking into his honey-brown eyes, I’m lost in his gaze until I hear him gently call my name. Feeling drawn to him, I take a few steps forward, seeing his mouth move as he whispers, ‘It’s always been you.’ I lick my lips, continuing to walk toward him. As I get closer, a longing smolder replaces his playful grin. Biting his lower lip, he gives me a wink, and reaches his arm out for me…
I’m awoken by a noise outside my apartment door. In my groggy state, I worried it might be an intruder. My heart jumped into my chest. Tossing off the blanket, I shimmied into my chair and grabbed the bat from the other side. Listening carefully, my heart is racing and bumping hard inside my chest. The sound of the blood pumping was loud in my ears, causing my head to throb. I faintly hear a key slip into the lock. Only for a second did Nick cross my mind. I’m more concerned that maintenance was about to enter without notice. I watch the ID channel all the time. Many men are not always on the up and up. I wish I had time to get to my self-defense Taser. Lowering the bat, propping it under my arm into the back of my chair for extra strength, one hand holds it while I position the other hand to use the toggle switch to move my chair. Someone’s about to get a bat rammed into their genitals. I waited with bated breath until the door swung open. I push the lever forward on my power chair to get a jump on the person who’s entering.
“Woah, slugger! It’s just me, and I’d like to have kids one day. I dropped my keys, trying to unlock the door. Too much stuff in my hands. It’s taco Tuesday, sweetheart!” Ashlynne giggles as she puts the mail, a wine bottle, and a large bag of food on the counter. She then returns to lock the door. She looks at me as if I lost my mind. “You okay?”
When I shake off the fog, I reply, “Yeah, you just startled me awake right when I was about to get it on with Logan.”
“Damn, I’m sorry. It’s pretty shitty when a girl can’t even get off in her dreams. Maybe you can hook up with your magical vibrating boyfriend tonight.” She gives me a wink and blows a kiss.
“I hope so. There’s a lot of sexual tension built up that needs to be released.”
“Alrighty then. So, you’re still dreaming about your hockey-hunk after all these years?”
Ignoring her question, I ask her if she got beef or chicken for supper tonight.
“Chicken,” she replies, walking to her room. Two and a half years ago, my fabulous sister packed up her belongings from our parents’ house to move in with me. She said it was time for her to take on more grown-up responsibilities, but I know she was ready to get away from our parents’ watchfulness. Even back then, when she was only twenty-two, she had already created a significant life for herself. Baby girl had more than earned the right to have some independence.
My sister is smart, as in she was taking pre-med classes on a full scholarship when she decided her path in life did not lead to becoming a doctor. Her calling in life is creating art. Mom and Dad might not agree with our choices, but they always respect and support our decisions. Ashlynne is a naturally gifted artist. Her drawing and painting skills are awe-inspiring. Seeing her illustrations makes me jealous of her talent, but in a good way. I’m so proud of my younger sister. After graduating from art school, she landed an exclusive spot at the Inkspirationz tattoo studio. Working alongside some other badass women, she has become popular for her designs. Following in our fathers’ and my footsteps, being a workaholic, she has at least three sources of income coming in.
When she isn’t working at the tattoo studio, she digitally illustrates children’s books from home. She is in demand and has clients booked out for over a year in advance. She could just do that full time and have plenty of work, but she loves tattooing too much to give it up. Inkspirationz is her happy place. Whenever she has a client’s permission and the location of the tattoo is in a respectable place, she will record the session to upload onto YouTube. Sometimes she just records herself while drawing out a new design. Her videos are very popular, her YouTube subscribers continue to grow by leaps and bounds. She has also gained thousands of followers on Instagram by posting pictures of her work in various stages of completion. I’m so pleased with all of her accomplishments. At twenty-four she is confident, sassy, and bold, ready to take the world by storm. Yet, she has her head on straight and is responsible, trustworthy, and loyal. Her family and friends mean the world to her. Maybe one day I’ll write a series or two of children’s books under my real name, if she could ever find time to work with me.I’m glad she is putting in the hours now, so that she can save up, and take things slower once she meets that someone special she wants to spend her time getting to know.
Coming back into the room, she heads into the kitchen after putting her cherry printed Coach shoulder bag away. Gathering plates and glasses, “No way are you watching that same movie again? You seriously need to watch something from this decade, Stephie.”
“I know. I can’t help it. It’s such a beautiful movie. Noah and Allie are soulmates. Fate meant for them to be together, even if they had to struggle along the way.”
“You believe in soulmates?” She places plates of food and drinks for the both of us on the coffee table, claiming the recliner as her seat.
“Yes, I do. There is a destined soulmate for every person out there. They might not find them on the first, second, or even third try. They may find them and then lose them. Sadly, they may not find them at all. But, yes. Everyone has a special person made just for them.”
“Did you think Nick was your soulmate?” She asked before taking a big bite of her soft taco.
“No,” I said as I shook my head. “I never felt that enchanting pull towards him or anything. But I loved him anyway. I would have spent my life with him if he hadn’t done me wrong.”
“Were you settling, though?”
“What do you mean?”
“I’m asking if you stayed with him because it was easy. You said you would have spent your life with him, even though he wasn’t your person. Why? Was it because he fulfilled all your needs within the relationship?”
“Now that I look back with perspective, he always made me feel… less than. You know? I let it slide because I felt I was less than, too. And, no, he did not satisfy all my needs. Especially my lady parts, if you know what I mean.”
“Yeah, you mean he was… less than,” she giggled. “I knew Nick-the-Dick’s Mr. Perfect persona was fake as shit. Trying to act all goody-two-shoes to make up for what he lacked in the sack.” She couldn’t help but laugh out loud at her own comment.
“I wish I’d seen through him before he blew up and blamed me for everything. Lying bastard twisted everything around to make me feel I was at fault.”That I was faulty.Turned out that Mr. Minute-Man had stuck his unwrapped dick into some hussy and got her pregnant by accident. Then he invented an excuse to blame me for his leaving, trying to not admit what he’d done. It didn’t take long for the truth to surface, but his words had already done the damage. His parents were almost as furious as I was when they found out what he’d done. To this day, they are still ashamed of him.”
“He’s an ass and you’re better off without him. Sounds like you still have a lot of resentment, though. Are you not over him yet?” Her words were soft with concern.
“Oh, I’ve been over him for a long, long time, baby girl. I’ll let you in on a secret I’ve told no one before. For a while, jealousy had me just as angry as his infidelity. At that time, I wished it was me that had gotten pregnant. When I learned his sperm created a child with another woman, it hurt me even more so than his cheating. I wanted to be a mom so badly, and now I wonder if my chance has passed me by. Instead of giving me a child, Nick left me doubting myself on whether I could even be a capable parent. I don’t believe I should bring a child into this world when things are difficult for me. As for relationships go, I’m too afraid to put myself out there, to try again with another guy, because being someone’s embarrassment or burden…,” before I went on, I used my hands to wipe away the tears leaking down my face, “I can’t be that, Ash. I just can’t.”
Standing, she comes over to hug me. “You won’t be. Stephie, sweetheart, you could never be a burden or an embarrassment to a person who truly loves you. Soulmates, remember? Nick wasn’t your guy.” She sits back down in the recliner, this time leaning the chair back and propping her feet up on the La-Z-Boy. “So, back to destiny, fate, and enchanting pulls. Sounds like you’ve been reading too many paranormal romances. I’m just kidding. Honestly, you really believe there’s someone out there you’re destined to be with, don’t you?”
