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Wash your face again and snap out of it.
Life went on, whether Iliked it or not and wallowing wouldn’tsolve anything. Ilistened to my inner voice and splashed water on my face, wiping off the physical reminders of yesterday as if it’dwipe out the memories.
It did the opposite: it evaporated any sleep remnants from me, and last night crashed down on me—the bleeding man, my painfully violent Thomas. My throat clogged, no air came in or out, and Iplaced both hands on the vanity and remembered Laura’sinstructions from after what happened: inhale through the nose, exhale through the mouth.
Air flooded in at some point and Ileft the room to find Laura. Ishuffled my feet into the living room where she was waiting for me on the long couch.
“Hey,” Isaid, my voice cracking.
“Hey.” She put her book down and patted the place next to her. “Any better this morning?”
“Not particularly.” Islouched down next to her, resting my cheek on the cushion. “My head’spounding. Ican’tthink about last night and Ican’tstopthinking about last night.”
My throat hurt and Iswallowed. “Isound crazy, don’tI?”
“Not one bit. There’sno manual for how you should feel.” Laura placed her cheek on the couch pillows too, tucking astrand of hair behind my ear. Thomas used to do that too. Tears threatened to flow at that.
“It must have been traumatic, with your history of men,” she commented with compassion.
“How could he do this?” Italked through the tears that gave in, and Laura hugged me tight until Iwithdrew from her. “We spent months together and Ididn’tsee it in him, not once. Was Ithat blind?” Isniffed at the last part, thinking what afool Iwas.
“Hey.” She steeled her tone. “Get this into your head: his actions are his to own up to. Iwon’thave you blaming yourself again for other people’sissues.”
“But…”
“No buts. And one more thing, and you need to hear this—if Thomas wouldn’thave punched him, Isure as shit would have.”
Islouched deeper into the cushions. “Don’ttry to defend him.”
“I’mnot. But that bastard harassed you.” She pinched her lips into awhite line. “He made you uncomfortable and when Thomas saw that, he leapt out of his seat in asecond. To helpyou.”
“Much more than uncomfortable.” Irecalled how he invaded my space, and shivered involuntarily. “When he started talking about f—fucking me, Iwanted to disappear. But he wasn’tabad man, Laur, he was drunk. Ifelt sorry for him. It was more like he was having areally bad day or year, and wasn’thandling it well.”
“Who cares about his bad something, Erin!” Ijumped when her fist hit the couch. She sat up straight, leaned her elbows on her knees and looked at me like Ihad lost it. “That fucking jerk. Thomas heard him?”
Ignawed at my lower lip. “Ithink so.”
“Well, then Ican’tsay Iblame him. No one should treat you that way,” she said with finality.
“Iknow what being protective means, Laura. This wasn’tit.” My eyes pleaded with her to hear me out. “He lost control and Iknow Thomas, but at that moment? Ihad no idea who he was. How can Itrust it won’thappen again, with me?”
Her blue-green eyes burrowed into mine. “He only did it because he loves you. He would never harm you.”
“How can you be so sure?”
“Look, given your past, your concerns are totally justified.” She huffed out along breath, mulling over the right words. “And Iagree it went too far and that you’re going to need more than acouple of days to process this. Ijust don’tsee Thomas ever doing this to you.”
Iclosed my eyes, wanting to believe it with as much conviction as she did.
“Erin?”
“Yeah?” Isaid with my eyes still shut.
“Umm, Idon’tknow if you want to hear this, but Zach texted me.”
The alarm of worry went off in my head and Ilooked at my friend’sworried expression.
“He told me the asshole—apparently his name is Oliver—won’tbe filing aformal complaint.”
