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32
Morgan — Thursday
I didn’t know how I was getting through day after day. What day was it anyway? Wednesday? Friday? No, it was Thursday. I knew that because yesterday was mom’s treatment. Treatment Kade was still paying for, even after what I’d done to him.
“He’ll come around,” my mother said as she sat with me on the floor with my while I wept that first night after he left.
I couldn’t talk, but if I could, I’d have told her that I didn’t think so. I’d killed whatever feelings he had for me.
I loved you, and you broke my heart.
Those words would haunt me until my dying day.
Now, four days later, the grief and regret were just as acute as the minute he walked out. How I was getting through each day was a mystery. I suppose it was hoping that each time I went to the restaurant, he’d show up. But he never did.
Not that no one from Raven Industries didn’t come to see how things were going. But it was never Kade. Not even Ash. I couldn’t blame him. Of course, he’d support his brother. Beth admitted to me that she’d told Ash, and he’d felt honor bound to tell Kade. I’d had opportunities and failed, so I deserved all that I got.
“Honey, are you sick or pregnant? Because you’re looking like something the cat dragged in,” Pat said to me as I sat staring into space in my office.
“I’m having a personal crisis,” I admitted.
“Is it the restaurant? Because from all I can see, it’s doing great. Those changes you and Chef made are a hit.”
“No. The restaurant is the one good thing in my life.”
Pat pulled up a chair and sat. “I know it’s none of my business, but it hasn’t escaped our notice that Mr. Raven hasn’t been by this week. That, along with your moping, has us thinking maybe something went wrong in your little love affair.”
“You knew we were together?”
She pursed her lips like she was offended. “Everyone could tell, honey. You looked at him like he was a god, and he looked at you like you walked on water.”
“Really? He looked at me like that?”
She sat back and stared at me like I’d said something stupid. “Yes. Couldn’t you tell?”
I shook my head. “I couldn’t ever figure out why he was interested in me.”
“What’s not to be interested in?”
I shrugged. “I’m not like the other women — ”
“Well, there’s your answer right there. He didn’t want the same old woman. He wanted you. Smart. Creative with food. Willing to stand up to him. We all heard how you walked into Raven Industries and gave the old G.M. the boot and Mr. Raven the what-for.”
I smiled as the memory came back, bittersweet. “You heard about that?”
“We did. Earned you some street cred here, too. So, what’s up? What’s going on?”
I wasn’t going to give her the details, but I did say, “I deceived him.”
She frowned. “Did you cheat on him?”
“No. But it was a betrayal all the same. He’s hurt, and what we had is gone.”
“Did you apologize?”
I closed my eyes as his parting words came back to me.
You haven’t apologized. Not once. Not even close.
“I am sorry, but at the time I was trying to explain and was frustrated, and I couldn’t get my words right.”
She slapped her hands on her thighs. “Well then, why don’t you start with that?”
“I think it’s a little late for an ‘I’m sorry.’”
She frowned. “Do you love him or not?”
“Yes.”
“I’m not so sure. If you loved him, if you really wanted him, you wouldn’t stop at anything to win him back. It might take time, but you can’t give in.”
“I don’t want to stalk him.”
She stood, and looked at me with disappointment on her face. “No apology, and no effort to make amends. No wonder he stays way.”
I felt her words like a knife in the chest. I wanted to defend myself, but couldn’t. She was right. At the very least, I needed to apologize. Not to make excuses, but tell him how deeply ashamed I was.
I stood. “You’re right.” I grabbed my purse. “You’ve got this, right?”
She grinned. “Manny’s got the expediting, and I’ll work the front if you’re not back for dinner.”
“Thank you, Pat.”
“Of course.”
I rushed out and hailed a cab, giving him the address to the Rookery. The traffic was probably no different than usual, but it seemed to take forever to get there.
I paid the driver and ran into the building, taking the elevator up to the executives’ floor. I speed walked to his office, bursting in.
“I’m sorry — ” The room was empty. Disappointment flooded me.
“You looking for Kade?” I turned and saw Alex.
“Yes.”
She gave me a long look, telling me that word had gotten around. I’d expected her tell me off, as she had a reputation for that.
