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“Morgan tried to tell me it was a little mistake.”
He shook his head. “It wasn’t little, but is it unforgivable? You know, me and Beth had history. I’d loved her since I was twenty-one, so I can’t compare us to you and Morgan. And I had some conditions when I told her I wanted to try again. It wasn’t like I could let it all go. But I also knew that when it was good with her, it was the best. Perfection. It seemed like that was worth fighting for.”
I finished my drink as I let his words seep into my brain. They couldn’t get past the pain, though. “I don’t know, man.”
“Well, here’s another bit of advice I have. You don’t have to decide now or even tomorrow. You have time.”
“She lives in a tiny place with her mother. I can’t have my child living there.”
“That’s logistics. You have time for that, too.” He studied me for a minute. “Are you sure it’s yours?”
I laughed. “Maybe I shouldn’t be, but yes, it’s mine.”
“How’d you get caught without a condom?”
I quirked a brow at him, telling him he should know since it had happened to him. “Probably not much different from when you did.”
“I was twenty-one, horny, and in love. You’re twenty-five and more careful.”
I shrugged as I looked into my empty glass. “I was horny, and… I don’t know about love then, but I definitely felt something different.” Maybe that’s why this hurt so much. She’d attached to my heart. That was the pull I felt. And now that had been ripped away. “I was her first.”
Ash’s brows shot up. “Really? She waited a long time. That usually means something.”
I shook my head. “Not according to her. I’ll tell you, Ash, I don’t understand her most of the time, so why am I so drawn to her?”
He let out a loud laugh. “God, if I could explain women, I’d be a rich man.”
“You are rich.”
“I’d be the richest man in the world, then.” He stood. “Ready for a refill? Then we can talk about something else, if you want. Like how do you think Hunter is going to fare as a father?”
I nodded to the refill. “I think he’ll be fine.”
Ash headed back to the bar and poured more tequila. “Your kid and his kid will be about the same age.”
I hadn’t thought of that. His kid would have their mother and father there all the time, though. As would Chase and Sara’s child, and as Hannah now had.
“What about you and Beth? Do you plan to have more kids?”
“Yep,” he said with a lecherous grin as he handed me my drink.
“Soon?”
He shrugged. “I’ll let you know.”
“Maybe we could not talk about all your perfect wives and children,” I said.
“Right. Sorry.”
“Let’s talk about Ben, and what the fuck to do about him.”
Ash held up his glass. “Cheers to talking about that fucker.”
I laughed. “Seriously, Ash. Why do you keep him around?”
His smile faded. “He was my best friend, who had life kick the shit out of him.”
“He doesn’t want help, man. If Alex can’t whip him into shape, he’s a lost cause.”
“Alex?”
“Yeah. She’s taking him on like a pet project. I guess because her dad had a problem with the bottle. She’s a ball buster, and he’s completely impervious.”
He took a long swig of his drink. “He’s family now. I can’t give up on him. But if I need to get him out of the business, I will. I won’t let it hurt Raven Industries.”
“I know you won’t. You’re a good friend.”
“Thanks. You know that we — me, Chase and Hunter — like to hassle you a lot, but we love you. You know that, don’t you?”
I shrugged, because until this moment, I’d have thought they were loyal to me because I was their brother, but I’m not sure I’d have described it as love.
“We used to be so jealous of you. The way Mom pampered you. I suppose that stuck with us, especially since you were the only one she seemed to know at the end.”
I hadn’t considered that. “Momma’s boy.”
“You made her life better at the end. All the food you made for her. Even when she couldn’t eat it. We never said this to you, but we all thought a lot of you for doing that.”
“I appreciate that. I didn’t know.”
He smiled and looked chagrined. “I guess you wouldn’t. I’m sorry about that. I can’t speak for Chase or Hunter, but I’ll try to do better. Truth is, Kade, you’re very good at your job. You can be a pain in the ass, but I guess we all are sometimes.”
“I think that’s the Raven DNA.”
He held up his glass. “To the fucking Raven DNA.”
“Cheers to that.” I clicked my glass with his.
As I sat with Ash, I realized it was the first time I’d ever really spent time with him. At least like this. Talking heavy, deep, and real. It felt good.
