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“I never said I stopped loving you.”
I studied his eyes, hoping that meant he was going to give me a chance. But I saw pain in them. I looked down, feeling ashamed at myself.
“I’m having a hard time dealing with the fact that you’re the type of person who would withhold something so important. How can I trust you?”
“I don’t blame you.” I looked up at him. “You said the other night that we could overcome anything if we loved each other enough. I love you enough. I know it will take time, but I’ll gain your trust again.” Saying it made me feel a bit stronger. “I’m not giving up on us, Ash. Everything we ever wanted is right here,” I said holding my hands up. “I’m not stopping until we have it, even if I have to wait a lifetime for you to trust me again.”
“A day ago, I’d have done anything to hear all this,” he said.
“I know. I regret that. From now on, you’ll hear it all the time. You’ll get sick of hearing how much I love you.”
There was a slight upward twitch of his lips. “What about Ben?”
“What about him? He doesn’t have a say in who I love. He never did.”
“He needs help, Beth.”
“I know, but I can’t force him. I’ve tried.”
He cocked his head. “What if the pressure was off? What if the company could be saved? Would that help?”
“Maybe. But if it came from you, I’m not sure. He’s stubborn.”
His jaw tightened. “Pride goeth before the fall.”
I watched him, wondering what he was planning.
“Raven Industries is going to make a bid for the company. It will prevent bankruptcy and give you both some cash. I’m also hoping to offer Ben the opportunity to continue to run things, as well as you, if you want to be involved.”
I swallowed hard. Ash was our guardian angel but I knew Ben wouldn’t see it that way. “Ash… I don’t know what to say.”
“He’ll need to get help, Beth. And from what I saw, it’s possible his hatred for me is so great that he won’t do it just to spite me.”
I nodded in agreement.
“So, you’ll run it if he opts out.”
“I’m … we don’t deserve this.”
He shrugged. “You were put in a tough situation and we can help. And Hannah deserves a mother who isn’t stressed out and an uncle that isn’t drunk.”
“Yes.” I sniffed as tears came to my eyes.
Ash reached into his coat pocket and pulled out a paper. “This is the deed to your house. I’ve transferred it to you and Ben.”
My world was tilting on its axis. He was the buyer? His generosity made me feel even worse, and at the same time, incredibly grateful.
I flung my arms around him and clung to him. “We don’t deserve this. But thank you.”
His hand rubbed my back. “I want Hannah to have a good life, and that starts with you feeling secure financially.”
“For Hannah, right.” A day ago, he might have been doing all this for me. In fact, because it was a done deal, he had to have started on it weeks ago, which meant it probably had been for me, initially. What an idiot I was.
His hand caressed my face, and leaned into it, holding on to the tenderness like a lifeline. “For you too, Beth. All this, I did for you.”
I couldn’t hold back anymore and I started to cry. He hugged me, and it was comforting, but not forgiving.
“I have a guest room you can stay in,” he said. “In case Hannah needs you during the night.”
“She sleeps like the dead, but thank you.”
He showed me to a room and left me. I nearly changed my mind and went to find him to climb into his bed. Then I thought I’d go sleep with Hannah. But in the end, I stayed where I was, crying myself to sleep.
31
Ash – Monday
Was I an idiot? This thought ran through my head as I lay in bed, unable to sleep. Beth said she loved me. Said she’d do whatever she could to earn my trust again. Several times this evening as we talked, and I’d nearly given in because my heart ached to hold her and comfort her. But then my brain would remind me that she needed comfort because I withdrew from her after learning about her betrayal.
My head was adamant that I needed to protect my heart, but my heart ached for her. She was right; everything we’d planned for six years ago was right at our fingertips.
As I lay there, I realized my family was sleeping under my roof. They were all here. But instead of having Beth in my bed, she was relegated to a guest room. A surge of yearning coursed through my body. Not sexual desire, but the need to have her near me. To have her heart and soul.
