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“Thank you.”
After Morgan left, I sat with Hannah as she slept. I took in each blonde lash that lay on her cheeks. Watching each rise and fall of breath as she slept peacefully. Please God, let Ash be happy about this. Don’t let his hurt or anger cause him to try and take her from me.
It felt like an eternity that we waited, but finally, the doctor came back. She checked Hannah, who continued to sleep through it all and declared her fine to go home.
I picked her up and her little head rested on my shoulder.
“Where we going Mommy?” her tired voice asked.
“Home, baby.”
Her arms looped around me. “’K.”
I took a deep breath as I walked out of the triage area and to the waiting area. For a moment, I wondered if Ash would even be there but then chastised myself. Of course, he would. Ash was that type of man. I could only imagine what he was thinking. Did he have an inkling that Hannah was his?
As I entered the waiting area, he looked up from where he sat. He watched me for a moment. I guessed he was working to get used to the idea that I was a mom.
He smiled and stood. “Can I help?”
“I need to finish the discharge papers.” Taking a breath, I nodded to her. “Can you hold her?”
“Absolutely. Will she be okay with that?”
Hannah lifted her head to look at him, then reached her arms out. Ash took her, and Hannah settled her head on his shoulder. The beauty of seeing him hold his child stole my breath.
I finished with the paperwork and got the epinephrine pen, then walked with him out to the car.
“We’re over here.” He said, nodding to a different location than where he’d let me out.
I opened the back door and was surprised to find two car seats.
He smiled. “I didn’t hear how old she was so I got one for a baby and one for a small child.”
My heart was bursting with joy. Regardless of how he felt about me, he’d love Hannah. I put her in the child seat. “Thank you, Ash.”
“Of course.” He held the passenger side door open for me and I got in. Nerves threatened to choke me. Did I tell him on the drive? No. I should wait until Hannah was home and in her bed, away from whatever response he might have.
Still, I should probably say something. “I guess you’re wondering why I haven’t mentioned I had a child.”
He pulled out from the hospital parking lot into the street. He glanced at me as if he was waiting for me to elaborate. There was no mistaking the hurt in his eyes.
“I… ah… this isn’t easy for me. Each time I saw you, I kept thinking it would be the last time.”
His jaw tightened. “Even tonight?”
“No.” I reached out and put my hand on his thigh. “No. Tonight I was going to tell you everything.”
“There’s more?” He looked at me.
I nodded. “I’d like to get her home and into bed, and I’ll explain.”
He continued to drive. “How old is she?”
I guessed he was just making conversation, but I knew her age could also give away her paternity.
“She turned five in May.”
He didn’t say anything, and I couldn’t read if he was making the link or not. We rode the rest of the way in silence. When we arrived at my place, I knew I needed to worry about Ben, but couldn’t muster up the energy.
Ash carried Hannah inside and put her in her bed.
“I have mermaids,” she said sleepily as he pulled her covers up over her.
“They’re lovely.”
She turned onto her side, putting her hand over his like it was a stuffed animal. “Will you stay until I’m asleep?”
He looked up at me, his eyes filled with emotion and I knew he’d figured it out. “Yes.”
I motioned that I’d go downstairs and give him a moment. My heart was racing as I entered the kitchen and started the coffee.
My hands shook as I poured the brew into the mugs and waited.
Finally, he entered the kitchen, his emotions raw on his face. “She’s mine, isn’t she?”
25
Ash – Sunday
I studied Beth as I waited for the answer I was pretty sure I already knew. I was Hannah’s father. I had a child I never knew about. The woman I loved, that I was so sure would never keep something this significant from me, had done just that.
Tears welled in her eyes. “Yes.”
The one word sent me reeling. I put my hand out on the door jamb to steady myself. I couldn’t quite pick out what emotion I was feeling as there were too many. There was a joy at being a father I never expected. But that was quickly buried by hurt, anger, confusion.
“Why did you keep this from me?”
