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It didn’t sit well with me that another man had touched her, but I recognized that as petty jealousy. She was mine now. And as far as I was concerned, her child was mine now too. I’d care for them both. Give them both everything they wanted and needed.
Feeling a bit calmer, I sat down in the waiting area. It was filled with people from all walks of life. A couple of children played and I watched them, wondering about Beth’s daughter. Hannah. It was a lovely name. I hoped she was going to be okay.
I stood and went to the nurse’s station again. “Listen, whatever Hannah McAdams needs to get well, I’ll cover it.”
She looked up at me like I was nuts. Then I remembered she thought I was the father. “Just… if she needs anything, give it to her.”
I laughed inwardly at myself as I went back to my chair to wait. Already I accepted this child as my own and I hadn’t even met her yet.
24
Beth – Sunday
I pushed Ash and what this all could mean out of my head. None of that mattered right now, anyway. All that mattered was Hannah. I rushed into the triage area and saw my little girl in a bed. She looked wiped out, but she was awake and not in distress as Morgan stood by her holding her hand.
“Oh God, Beth, I’m so sorry,” Morgan said when she saw me.
“What happened?” I took Morgan’s spot, gripping Hannah’s hand and leaning over to kiss her. “You okay baby?”
“Yes.” Her voice was soft like she was exhausted.
“Ah, Mrs. McAdams,” the doctor said as she entered.
I didn’t bother to correct her. “What happened?”
“It appears that little Hannah here has a seafood allergy. A fairly severe one, but she got here in time, and will be just fine.”
“Seafood allergy?” I looked over at Morgan.
“We were made shrimpies, mommy,” Hannah said.
“I’m sorry, Beth. I didn’t know.” Morgan looked distraught.
“I didn’t know either.” I looked back at the doctor. “How do I avoid this?”
“For one, don’t eat shellfish. But she should always have an epinephrine auto-injector with her. If she’s in school, you’ll want to talk to them about it and have some available there as well in case hers can’t be located.”
“Okay, yes. But she’ll be okay?”
The doctor smiled. “She’ll be absolutely fine. That’s not to say this isn’t serious. Allergic reactions can be fatal.”
“God Beth… I’m so sorry—” Morgan was crying and I could only imagine the guilt she was feeling.
I gave her a hug. “It’s not your fault. And you got her help. You saved her.” I turned to the doctor. “Does she need to be admitted?”
“No. I do want to keep her here a little longer for observation, but if she continues to show no further signs of an allergic reaction, I’ll discharge her.”
“Thank you, doctor,” I said, feeling more grateful than I could find the words for.
“How you feeling Hannah?” the doctor asked.
“Can I have ice cream?”
We all laughed, and I felt the tension in my body vanish.
“Do you want me to send the father back?” the doctor asked.
Morgan’s eyes widened. “Is Ash here?”
I nodded, having forgotten about him. I turned to the doctor. “He’s not… he’s just a friend.”
“He’s her boyfriend,” Hannah piped up.
“Oh, well. If you’d like to have him come back—”
“No, thank you.”
When the doctor left, Morgan looked at me. “What are you going to tell him?”
I rubbed Hannah’s forehead, and she closed her eyes. “Take a rest sweetie.”
“I’m not tired.” But her voice was barely a whisper.
I kissed her and then turned to Morgan. “I’m so tired of carrying this burden. He has a sense I’m keeping something from him, I’m sure. He says we can overcome anything and I guess I need to test that out.”
“It’s the right thing to do, Beth.” Morgan patted my arm. “And you’re right, if he said you can overcome anything, then you can. He might be thrilled.”
“I’ve kept something from him as important as this from him for five years. I doubt he’ll be thrilled about that.”
She winced. “Well, he’ll probably be hurt and maybe angry, but you had a reason. He needs to accept that just as you accepted his reason for leaving you.”
I nodded. I had to trust in Ash’s words.
“Do you want me to stay? Be there when you tell him?”
I shook my head. “No. Thank you, Morgan. I need to do this on my own.” I reached into my purse and pulled out some money. “Here’s for watching Hannah, and please take a car home and not the subway.”
“I don’t need that.”
“Please. Take it.”
Reluctantly, she took the money. “Let me know how it goes, will you?”
“Yes.”
Then she grinned. “You’re gonna get your Prince Charming.”
I laughed, and could only hope she was right.
“I’ll let him know it will be a bit longer,” Morgan said.
