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“You think so poorly of your friend and me if you think that’s what it was between us.”
“Wasn’t it? Didn’t he just leave once he got what he wanted.”
I stepped away from him, needing a breath. “Do you think dad would have disinherited me?”
He frowned, probably unsure of where I was going with this question. “For what?”
“For being with Ash.”
“He didn’t.”
No, he hadn’t. “Dad and Ash’s father knew about our relationship. They sent him away.”
“So? If he loved you, he’d have stayed.” Ben sat in his chair, looking like all the wind had been taken out of his sails.
“They threatened to withdraw their funding for Jet. And dad told him he’d disinherit me.”
“That was a bluff.”
“The club investment or disinheriting me?”
“I find it hard to think he’d toss you out. You were dad’s princess.” Ben frowned. “Did he know Ash was Hannah’s father?”
I sat too, also feeling like I’d lost all my energy. “He never said, but now that I know he knew about me and Ash, I guess he’d have had to.” I realized that if that was true, he’d kept the fact that Cam Raven was a grandfather a secret from Ash’s dad as well.
“This doesn’t change that Ash betrayed our friendship and left you.”
I shook my head. “No, but it does make him seem less callous, don’t you think? He left partly because of you. To save your plans.”
He scoffed. “Why are you on his side now?” His eyes narrowed. “You’re not with him again, are you?”
“No. My goals are the same. Hannah and I are going to move and start a new life.”
“He deserves to know, Beth.”
“I thought you hated him.”
“I do. But Jesus… he’s got a kid, Beth.”
Guilt flared again. I knew he was right and yet; I couldn’t let it change my mind. “I can’t risk losing her.”
He looked at me like I’d grown a third eye. “Which is it, Beth? Is he a bad guy that can’t be trusted or is a good guy that was manipulated into leaving you? Because if he had a good reason for leaving, then shouldn’t he know all that he left behind?”
I hated that he was right about that. It had been my belief that Ash had abandoned me that justified keeping Hannah from him. If I believed his story, which I did, I had no reason to hide the truth, except the fear that he’d react badly and take her from me.
“We don’t have the resources to fight him if he tries to get custody,” I said.
“So, you think he’s a bad guy. That he’d do that?”
“I don’t know. But I can’t risk it.”
“It’s your life, Beth. Unlike you, I’m not going to try and tell you how to live it. I just hope you’re making the right decision, not for you, but for Hannah. There’s the fact that while we’ll be living frugally, she’s an heir of Ash Raven. Plus, someday she’ll want to know who her father is.”
She already did, I remembered.
“The truth has a way of getting out, and when it does, you might not just have Ash’s wrath, but Hannah’s too.”
I swallowed. “Now you’re the one that sounds sympathetic to Ash.”
He shrugged. “I care about Hannah. As far as Ash goes, I want him to know so I can finally tell him what I think about what he did and kick his ass.”
“He was good to me, Ben… back then,” I clarified so he didn’t catch on that I’d slept with Ash again.
“It doesn’t matter, Beth. He was my best friend. You don’t fuck your best friend’s little sister.”
“Does that mean you hate me? Is there a rule about not fucking your big brother’s best friend?”
He laughed and it made me miss the old Ben even more. “There is, but I give you a pass because you were so young and inexperienced. He took advantage of you.”
I sighed. “I understand that there is a bro code he broke, but Ash didn’t do anything wrong to me. I loved him and gave myself to him.”
Ben rolled his eyes. “I don’t want the details. I have no doubt you loved him, but that doesn’t mean he felt the same or that he didn’t use that to get what he wanted.”
“It took him all summer. And there were plenty of other girls on the beach that would have been happy to help him if all he wanted was sex.”
“You’re not going to change my mind on this, Beth.”
I nodded. “Okay.” Since we’d reached a place of understanding and acceptance, even if we still disagreed, I figured it was time to end our tete-a-tete. I stood. “I’ve got to get back to Hannah. She and Morgan went to the park.”
“It was nice of Morgan to stick around,” Ben said standing and walking me to the door.
“She’s a good friend. I hate that we’ve put her and her mother in such a difficult financial situation. Her mom has found new housekeeping work, but she seems so tired worn out all the time.”
