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“I’m surprised to hear that.”
“I need to investigate, of course. Is there any truth to this report?”
I hated lying, but I wasn’t ready to fess up either. I fudged the truth. “I’m not seeing a client personally, and I’ve never been accused of inappropriate behavior before.” Both of those statements were true. I wasn’t currently seeing a client, because Hunter wasn’t my client anymore.
He nodded and jotted down some notes. He continued to ask questions that I continued to answer in the present tense or evasively. If he was experienced in human behavior, he might have been able to tell, but he never let on that he thought I was hiding the truth.
I was relieved when he stood to leave. “I appreciate your time and candor, Ms. Reynolds. I know this is unpleasant business, but I’m sure you understand how important it is that we check out charges such as this.”
“Yes, of course,” I said rising and walking him to my door. “Is that it then?”
“Oh no,” he said, and my heart fell into the pit of my stomach. “I need to look into this further. As you know, your license could be suspended if this turns out to be true.”
“I know the rules, Mr. Brown.” I hoped my voice sounded steady and sure.
I went back to my desk and sank into my chair as tears came to my eyes. This was why I shouldn’t be indulging in my own personal desires. They always blew up in my face and ended up breaking me. Mike cheated. And now, I was going to lose my license because I finally gave in to my desire to have Hunter.
I had to end it, of course. I might not be completely fulfilled in my practice, but I didn’t have a backup plan, and I had no significant savings. If I lost my license, what would I do then? Hunter would probably help, but I didn’t want to be rescued, and there was no way of knowing how long it would last. I couldn’t rely on him to help me. The only answer was to stop seeing him.
I pulled out my phone and texted a message to him.
I need to talk to you.
A few minutes later, he replied.
In a meeting now. Can talk…or fuck…in an hour.
A bittersweet emotion ran through me. I loved his dirty talk as it made me feel desired in a way I never had before. But if Mr. Brown got this text, I’d lose my license for sure.
I have a client. Later tonight?
A few minutes later, he replied.
My place when you’re finished up tonight. Maybe we’ll finally make it to a bed.
My heart tore in two. I wanted him so badly, yet I had to end this. Why was life so unfair?
I finished with my last client, wrote up my notes, and got forms ready to file to their insurance. I closed up my office and took a cab to Hunter’s place. As I rode through the streets of New York, I wondered if maybe I should have taken the subway to save money since it was possible, I was going to lose my practice.
When I got to his building, I realized that I hadn’t been to his place before, which made my heart hurt even more. The idea that he was inviting me into his home, meant he was letting me into his life. I so badly wanted to embrace that and hated that I was going to hurt him. I was going to add more pain to a man who’d already suffered so much. It brought home why it was wrong for a therapist to be in a relationship with her client. I was supposed to help him, not give him more pain.
When he opened the door, his smile was so wide and beautiful. It had been so rare to see it when I first met him, and now he was freely doling it out. Guilt piled over guilt until I thought I’d be crushed by it.
His smile faltered. “Is something wrong, Grace?”
I nodded as I stepped into his place. I wanted to look around to see how he lived, but I couldn’t stay and I couldn’t come back, so what was the point?
“We can’t see each other,” I blurted. I figured I should treat it like a Band-Aid and just rip it off.
His eyes darkened and he scoffed. “I thought it was too good to be true that you didn’t have regrets. Why are you fighting this, Grace?”
“I didn’t have regrets, but then a man from the licensing board showed up today.” Tears filled my eyes. “He said someone filed a complaint against me for having an inappropriate relationship with a client.”
His head cocked to the side. “Who?”
“He said it was anonymous.”
“Did he have any proof beyond an anonymous call?”
