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Her eyes shifted showing pain. Shit, what did I do wrong?
“I know you expected something better.”
“No. That was fucking amazing. I’m just sorry it wasn’t better for you. Your first time should be nicer.” And with someone you love. Shit, I took that from her too.
“It was nice. You’re right. Two times.”
I cocked my head, not quite understanding.
“The first time you told me about your picking up women, you said you made them come two times. I didn’t believe it.”
I grinned, feeling stupidly pleased that I’d lived up to my self-proclaimed ability. But my smile faltered as I realized she would think she was like the others. In some ways, I wished she was. I wished we could go on and pretend like nothing happened, but she had some sort of hold on me. Even now, my heart was doing somersaults in my chest. What the fuck was that about?
“I didn’t hurt you, did I?” Of course, you did, dummy.
“Just that first thrust. After that it was fine.”
Deciding she was okay, I withdrew and took off the condom, tying it off and tossing it in the garbage. “Would you like to talk about this?” She was a counselor, so it seemed like she’d want to analyze what happened.
She shook her head. “No. I would like to go home though.”
Fuck. Maybe I did hurt her. “Let me take you.” I pulled out my phone and called my driver to meet us out front. I gave her a moment to pull herself back together and then led her out the back and then to the street to avoid the noise and crowd of the club.
I helped her into the car, and she gave the address to my driver. Normally, I liked silence, but now, I felt like I should tell her things or ask her things. I just didn’t know what. The fact that she didn’t talk made it even worse.
When we arrived at her building, I walked her to the door. Did I apologize? Did I ask her for a date? I didn’t know what the fuck to do.
“Are you sure you’re okay?”
She gave me a wan smile. “Yes.”
I kissed her on the forehead, needing the contact, but not feeling I could kiss her on the lips. I watched as she entered the building, and then I climbed into the car and told my driver to bring me home.
I knew I was an asshole. What I hadn’t realized was that even when I tried to be good, I still ended up being an asshole. I thought I’d been looking out for Chase’s interests when he first told me Sara had gone missing. I’d been sure she was after his money. I was wrong and ended up costing them their baby.
And now, with Grace. While I knew I didn’t have love and a happily ever after to offer her, I thought we might have a good time together. She was different from the women I normally went after, and I was in need of different. But shit. A virgin? God, if I’d known that, I’d have never fucked her like that; on a desk in my brother’s club, for Christs sake.
There was no doubt I’d wanted her physically. From the moment I’d met her, something about her pulled me to her. But I’d thought I’d fuck her and get her out of my system. Maybe it wouldn’t take one time, but eventually, we’d use up this crazy chemistry or whatever it was. Then I could go back to my life and her to hers. No harm, no foul.
But now. Fuck. A virgin. I’d be a bigger asshole to walk away now. That’s assuming I could, because if I was honest with myself, I didn’t want to walk away. She gave herself to me. I didn’t know why. It didn’t make sense. She knew more than anyone how fucked up I was.
I was assertive in what I wanted from her, but I gave her the opportunity to say no. Perhaps I should have let her leave when she tried to sneak away and that was where I went wrong. And now, I’d done wrong again, which would likely lead to more wrongs. Because as much as I should have let her go, she was in my system. It wasn’t just a sexual itch, but something deeper. It fucking scared the shit out of me, because it meant that I couldn’t let her go even if I wanted to.
Way to go, Hunter, I thought as I walked to the bar in my apartment. You’ve fucked up even more. I pulled out a bottle of scotch but ultimately, put it back. I didn’t want to dull my senses. Aside from the awkwardness at the end, being with Grace had been really nice. And I didn’t just mean the sex, which was fucking spectacular.
