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He caught up to her in the forest of baby toys.
When people accused Karl of having a stick up his ass, he was never shocked. He just preferred the term straitlaced. Like he also preferred righteous anger instead of judgmental fucker. An administrator for the Illinois Department of Human Resources had called him that last name once. Karl hadn’t particularly cared for the sexual affair that the administrator had been having with a key figure in the state’s Department of Human Resources office, but the high-pay, low-work jobs that her family got without ever seeming to have to interview had been a concern. The administrator had been arrested the day after giving Karl his epitaph.
The problem was not that Karl didn’t know who he was; it was that he didn’t think he could be flexible without breaking. Even for Vivian, who was shaking a rattle with a wide, bright smile on her face.
But he was willing to try. “What are you doing on the twenty-ninth?” he asked her.
“Probably working. Why?” Before she could shake the rattle again, Karl took it from her and put it in the shopping basket he was carrying. “Why’d you do that?” she asked.
“Even if our baby has no interest in the rattle, you seem to like it.”
Vivian raised one eyebrow at him. Maybe the people who called him overbearing were right. He pulled the rattle out of his basket and handed it back to her. She gave it one loud shake, which reverberated through the store, then handed it back to him. “Why do you ask about the twenty-ninth?”
“It’s Phil Biadala’s wedding. I’d like a date.”
Vivian put down the set of colored rings she was holding and assessed him. He didn’t squirm—he never squirmed—but he did relax his stance. Just a little.
“Okay. Let me clear it with your mom first, but okay.” She picked up another rattle, giving it several shakes.
He smiled. “My mom will say yes.”
“She’s still under the impression we will kiss and make up.” She put down the second rattle and picked up another. If she was trying to make each rattle more annoying than the first, she was succeeding.
“Is a perfect nuclear family no longer the goal?”
Karl had a feeling she was now shaking the rattle because she didn’t know what else to do. He’d made her nervous, which hadn’t been his objective. But he was pushing himself, and there was no reason she couldn’t be pushed along with him.
Finally, she set the rattle down and lifted her face to his. Her expression was perfectly smooth, with no wrinkles to reveal how she was feeling. Only her eyes betrayed her nervousness. “It’s still the goal. But I’ve not changed my mind about what I deserve.”
As much as it hurt to admit it, Malcolm was right. “You do deserve it.” He picked the rattle off the shelf and handed it to her. Then he picked another off the shelf and handed that one to her, as well. “And I’m trying.”
* * *
AS HE HAD been for the past several nights, Karl was the last customer to leave Healthy Food. It didn’t seem quite right to call him a customer, but he never stayed to help clean up, so he wasn’t an employee. He offered to help, but Susan always shooed him out the door with a reminder about his real job and its importance to the city. Despite his protests, he always looked relieved when he walked out the door as the mops came out. Relieved and tired.
Vivian didn’t blame him for either. Cleaning up a buffet restaurant was a nightmare—people managed to get food in the strangest places when it was their responsibility to carry it to their tables. Plus, Karl had a job. One that was important to him. More important to him than she was.
Not that she could blame him for that, either. She could be angry with him—often was angry with him—but she’d been around the Mileks long enough to know that Karl had idolized his father. She’d also learned that Papa Milek had been more willing to say “I love you” than “good job,” and all the Milek children were expected to hold to his high standards of being a good citizen. Susan spoke with such praise about how Karl had stepped into the role of man of the house after the car accident. Up until he’d married his ex-wife, Karl had tried to play father to his sisters, even when his pep talks and advice had fallen on deaf ears.
