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‘You are afraid of me?’ He actually lost colour.
‘I’m afraid of wanting what I didn’t think you could give me, nor wanted to give me.’ Her confidence slipped as she saw the storm clouds gathering in his eyes. ‘I heard you talking to Antonio. “What prince ever marries for love?”’
‘Stella—’
‘Let me speak—please let me speak,’ she interrupted him again, twisting her hands free of his and holding them up to stop him. ‘I’ve not spoken up the way I should and I have to now.’
She sighed as she saw him grit his teeth, and her eyes watered dangerously. She cleared her throat. She couldn’t let emotion get in the way—not now.
‘I thought I didn’t want to spend the rest of my life trying to earn the love and approval of someone who’d become everything to me. Not all over again.’ She drew another tight-chested breath. ‘But then I realised that it doesn’t matter. Because when you love someone you do everything you can for them.’
As she spoke, her heart felt as if it was growing, about to burst, but with each word her voice weakened.
‘And one of the most important things is to talk to them.’ She tried to smile, but it was hard to speak honestly about something so personal. She’d never felt so vulnerable. ‘That’s where I’m not so good. In fact I’m as bad as my dad. All action, not enough words. Never the words.’
Silence fell and she looked up at him. Her pirate prince was utterly still now, but he was nothing like a stone statue. He was too vibrant, too vital, too hot. She could hardly bear to look at him, but she couldn’t turn away. She couldn’t give up on this. On him. On them.
‘What are the words, Stella?’ he prompted her, more gentle than she’d ever heard him.
Her throat and chest were so tight they ached, and while she ought to be deafened by the thundering pace of her heart beating, all she could hear was the strained silence that she couldn’t seem to breach. Finally, right on the edge, she’d lost the nerve to step off and make the leap.
‘How could I admit to Antonio what I could hardly admit to myself?’ Eduardo said softly, after another unbearable, seemingly endless second. ‘I thought it would burn itself out, but it only burns hotter. That crazy moment on this beach was merely the spark that lit a fire that’s fuelled by much more than lust.’
He paused, his frown deepening.
‘Why didn’t you tell me you needed to see Dr Russo?’ The blue of his eyes was almost black. ‘Why didn’t you tell me you were worried? He called me after I’d seen Antonio this morning. I was angry you hadn’t told me... I thought we’d gotten so close last night... But then to find out you’d held back something so important... That you wouldn’t turn to me...’
She opened her mouth, but nothing came out. She’d frozen at the hurt she saw in him.
‘I hate being excluded,’ he said rawly. ‘When the people I care about don’t tell me what they’re going through it makes me feel...feel like I can’t help them. Feel that they think what I have to offer isn’t enough...’
She had hurt him. And that was why he’d shut her out this morning. He’d been as hurt as she. Neither of them able to articulate their true fears. Both of them scared of trusting.
But there had to be that leap now.
‘It’s just that I was scared,’ she mumbled, desperate to explain. ‘Not of you,’ she clarified quickly. ‘I’m a soldier. I’m supposed to be brave. But I’m terrified about giving birth.’
‘Oh, sweetheart.’
‘And I was scared you only cared about the baby. Not really me. And I didn’t want to bother you.’ She closed her eyes. ‘I hate being so pathetic.’
He placed his hands on her waist, firmly anchoring her. ‘The last thing you are is pathetic. You don’t have to be alone and scared. You don’t have to be either of those things ever again.’
Her tears spilled from beneath the closed lashes. And despite that massive lump in her throat she could finally speak clearly. ‘I had this huge crush on you for so long, and then all this happened and I just wanted more. You were so much more than I’d ever imagined. So charming, so sexy...and then so funny and kind. So much more a prince than I’d thought... And then I didn’t want to be the bride you bedded, who had your baby and who you then walked away from. I wanted the whole fairy tale. And it wasn’t fair of me. It wasn’t realistic of me to expect everything from you—’
