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Dangerous.
But there was no future for them. There was never a future, never a for ever. People came together for a while and then parted. And it was better to part before it got too messy, too painful. And it was better to be the one to initiate the separation.
Because no one was walking out on him again.
But he knew she’d be home. Her flight had been scheduled to land two hours ago and, yes, he’d gone online and checked that it had. On time. Which meant she’d be home—especially as he’d arranged for a car to collect her from the airport. He’d had the call confirming that had gone successfully.
So he knew.
He moved the pile to where it had been on the desk before he’d moved it back. Again. He stood, growling in frustration.
Pointless. Procrastination. Pathetic.
But there’d be no sleep tonight, not if he carried on like this. And so, late as it was, he got into his car.
Sex. It was just sex. That was all she wanted. And him too, right?
Playful. Plentiful. Passionate.
He didn’t want more than that. And he knew she didn’t. When it came to what she wanted from him, she definitely came down on the sex side of the equation.
She said nothing when she opened her door. Simply stood aside and he walked in. There was nothing to say, was there? There was just this burning attraction, the desire that couldn’t be licked. Indeed it only seemed to be growing the more he had of her.
She melted into his arms, pressing her body to his and letting him in where he most wanted to be. The sense of relief was overwhelming. He didn’t care about the dingy room and the narrow lumpy bed because when he finally slept, it was a better, deeper sleep than ever.
But consciousness returned ultra early. With it came the awkward silence. He could hear her unspoken questions—the ‘what’s going on?’ that she was so determinedly holding back. Her room was tiny, and they were trying too hard not to fall over each other.
He didn’t want to talk about it. Couldn’t seem to think straight any more—not when he was with her.
All night together in the motel had been a mistake. Two nights in a row was a huge mistake.
‘I’m away for business meetings for a few days,’ he fabricated. It was plausible enough. ‘Flying out later this morning.’ And he would be—to his bolt hole in Queenstown. Some time on the slopes should help clear his head—some time away from her.
‘I thought you were coming to the agency this afternoon?’
Damn. ‘I’m going to have to reschedule. It’s a situation that cropped up overnight.’ OK, sounding weaker now. He’d turned his PDA off—for all he knew the factory could have gone up in flames and frankly he wouldn’t have cared. In those moments in her arms, the rest of the world disappeared. Hell, he needed to get perspective back—like now.
Three hours later he was away from her—in the air with some wintry freedom his destination. But for once the bird’s eye view of the Southern Alps didn’t thrill him. The snow-laden peaks looked fearsomely clean and cold against the blue sky but he barely noticed them. Tearing his focus off the constant contemplation of Amanda seemed impossible.
The plan for Colin’s move was well under way and he was happy with how it was panning out. It would keep Amanda in Auckland and keep the old boy safe. Things could continue as they were for as long as he wanted.
But the discomfort nagged and he mentally put his exit plans in place. When it was over he could get the bills for Colin processed at work so he wouldn’t need to see or know any details at all. There wouldn’t have to be any direct contact. She could be cut from his life quite easily.
Good.
He walked into his home, waiting for the relief to hit—that feeling of freedom that came as he breathed the crisp air and saw the huge sky and the magnificent mountain backdrop.
But it didn’t come. Instead he wondered what she was doing. Walking around his house, he felt the ache of emptiness. He turned—was that a footstep?
He wished.
He wanted to see her walk into the room. Wanted her to experience the beauty of it with him. He’d stand at the window with her and take her as they watched the sun’s rays traverse the snowy ranges…
Oh, for crying out loud! He broke into a run. Ridiculous, mooning around like a teen struck by his first case of calf love. Adolescent hormones run rampant. He grabbed his boots and board and chucked them in the back of the car. Physical activity—adrenalin—for the couple of remaining hours of light he’d work his body into fatigue.
But his brain he couldn’t shut down.
Snow, speed, sweat—he went faster, further. But it was as if, the more he tried to escape, the more insistent the thoughts of her became. She was so far in his brain and his body craved hers as if she were a deadly narcotic.
