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There was a knock on the door and she instantly fell on the bed, burrowing back under the covers. His laughter rumbled loud and genuine from some place deep inside. And she couldn’t help giggling herself.
Having paid the pizza boy and carried the box in, Jared put it on the table and strode over to the bed where she was still half hiding. ‘What are you thinking?’
That she loved it when he laughed like that. That she’d never had so much fun. That she could stay holed up in this motel for ever. ‘That I hate cold, soggy pizza.’
‘That right?’
She nodded, fascinated as he grappled with the fly of his jeans.
‘Well, isn’t that just tough?’ he muttered as he pressed his body close to hers.
True to his word Jared left early. She slid from bed at the same time, quickly showering and dressing, ready to see him off and get to her grandfather.
But as she stood by his rental car the infernal uncertainty smothered her. ‘Are you sure?’
He looked annoyed. ‘Let’s not go round and round on this. It’s a done deal.’
But Amanda needed the reassurance; if she was going to go in there and uproot her grandfather, she needed to know there was security in his future. She had to trust Jared. Without doubt she knew she could. His reliability had never been called into question—he’d always turned up when he’d said he would, always worked later, longer, harder than anyone. If he said it, he meant it.
But there was that part of him still so unknown to her—the part he blocked. She wondered if she’d ever get to know him the way she longed to. And she worried that by letting him do this she would in some strange way make their relationship even more remote—even more of an ‘arrangement’.
He walked back round the side of the car, all closed man again, but planted a fast, fierce kiss on her mouth. ‘Just do it.’
Chapter Thirteen
JUST do it. Amanda repeated the mantra over and over on her walk to the home. A quick check found her grandfather gazing out of the window to the bare wooden fence. Amanda felt guilt stir. He’d have a better view soon. She went to the reception—it being Sunday the manager wasn’t there, but the defensive nurse of yesterday was, as was another.
Amanda assumed a bright smile and polite society mode. ‘I wanted to talk to you about Colin.’ She paused, ensuring she had their attention. ‘I’m moving him up to Auckland to be nearer me. I’ll be back on Friday to pick him up.’
‘Friday?’
‘Yes. The wonderful thing is I’ve gotten him in to see the leading gerontologist up there—he’ll have a full medical and go into a new facility.’
‘He has the appointment on Friday?’
‘Yes.’ Amanda beamed. ‘I’m so hopeful there may be a different range of drugs that might help him.’ And she was certain there was no way that awful bruise would have faded by then—nor would any others, if there were others. They’d be found. And if there was anything else to be found, it would be.
Did defensive nurse look uncomfortable? ‘You’re supposed to give us notice.’ She certainly had an unmistakable sharpness in her voice.
‘I’m giving you notice now.’ Amanda smiled to ease the edge in her own words. ‘But don’t worry, his account will be paid for the required length of notice period. But he will be leaving sooner than that. On Friday, in fact.’
Despite the satisfaction, she was shaking as she walked back to Grandfather’s room to spend the rest of the day with him. Hopefully her fears were totally wrong, but if they weren’t then those carers were on notice and they knew it. She’d follow it up with a letter to the manager and the health board tomorrow. Sitting in the chair next to her grandfather’s, she spent half the afternoon composing it. The rest of the time she dwelt on the even bigger conundrum in her life.
How could she reach Jared? While he wanted her it was only on his limited terms—physical and nothing but. And yet there was more, he’d followed her, he’d been worried…but she didn’t know how to draw him out and build on it. The darkness in his eyes hid wounds and, while she knew much of what he’d suffered, she didn’t know how to breach the walls he’d built. And, without doubt, it was her heart on the line.
Jared moved papers from one pile to another. Just as he’d been doing for three hours now—not counting the tenminute break for a cold-sandwich dinner. He meant to have the night away from her. Just to underline the point that what he was doing with Colin had nothing to do with her—with ‘them’. He winced. Hating the thought of ‘them’. But all the same, underneath, the concept was tantalising.
