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She paused. ‘I’m sure it wasn’t. I’m sure there were good times.’ She hadn’t meant to offend him. It was his family after all.
Their eyes met.
Some family. His mother had walked out with another man when he was twelve and his father had moved them to Ashburton—to a cottage where the rent was cheaper and the pub a walk away. The alcohol had finally killed his dad when he was fifteen. She didn’t know if he’d suffered physically, but neglect was a form of abuse too. And he’d certainly been neglected.
‘I just believe that you can be or do anything you want to, Jared,’ she said softly. ‘You have that kind of strength.’
He laughed, looked away. ‘Yeah, and at night time I put on my superhero cape, fly out the window and save the world.’ His grin was boyish and uplifted. Laughter, that kind of laughter, suited him.
‘Have you ever heard from her?’
‘Who?’
‘Your mother.’
The smile vanished from his eyes and she kicked herself for asking that question right then.
‘Oh, yeah. Mum eventually tracked me down. It was the one time I got publicity. It was an alumni piece—you know, graduates who’ve achieved—advertising basically, for the university. I was back on a break from Hong Kong—I’d already made my first million and bought some property here. Mommy Dearest realised her son had done good. She’d left the guy she left my father and me for. Maybe he’d left her, I don’t know. Anyway, she tracked me down. Said she’d wanted to keep in touch all those years but that Dad wouldn’t let her.’
‘Do you think that’s true?’
He shrugged. ‘I don’t know. But I’d have said Dad was too apathetic to stop anyone doing anything that they really wanted to do. She could have gotten in touch.’
Amanda felt for him then.
‘She said she wanted to get to know me. To make up for all the time she’d missed out on. But you know what she really wanted?’
Frankly Amanda hated to think.
‘What do women always want?’
She shook her head, knowing she wasn’t going to like his opinion on this one.
‘Money or sex,’ he said bitterly. ‘And I’m no Oedipus.’
Money or sex. Was that what he thought?
On the face of it all she wanted from him was one of those two things as well. Honestly, she wanted more from him. But he made it too damn difficult to ask. He only offered what he offered and she would take it—instinctively knowing it was that or nothing.
‘Is that why you shun publicity now?’
‘Yeah. I don’t want her coming back into my life. She decided to leave it, she can stay out of it. And I don’t want other people coming to me for handouts either.’ He closed his eyes. ‘I give, Amanda. But I do it my way. That’s my right, isn’t it?’
‘You employ at-risk youth. You give them opportunities.’
He lifted his head from her chest. ‘How do you know?’
‘I made it my business to get to know the client.’
He lay down again. ‘Yeah. Well, you’ve well and truly done that now, haven’t you? But I just want to live in peace. Work hard. Do my thing. End of story.’
Amanda said nothing, just tightened her arms around him.
His hand swept down her thigh. ‘Are you going to stay?’
‘No. I don’t have my pill with me.’ Actually it was in her handbag but it was a convenient excuse. Staying overnight would bring additional intimacy that, while she knew she would love it, she didn’t think he would. Not yet. Probably not ever. So for her own protection, it was best to leave. Just sex. No expectations. At least that was what she’d aim for.
‘I’ll give you a key and the security code. You can come after work tomorrow.’
So there would be yet another time. Could she handle this day by day? ‘OK, but I’ll go again when I want to.’ She needed to retain some assertiveness.
‘Or maybe it’ll be when I want you to.’ His eyes glinted.
So he didn’t want to cede control either.
‘I wonder who will want it first?’ she murmured.
‘It doesn’t matter. It’ll end soon enough.’
‘So one day I’ll wake up and you’ll not want me any more? Is that what happens?’
‘No. What happens is that one day I’ll wake up and you’ll not want me any more.’
His mother had done exactly that, Amanda realised. Up and left with another man who had no desire to house some other guy’s son.
‘Is that what always happens?’ She tried to stay casual.
‘What do you think?’ He asked lightly enough but his eyes were dark.
