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And then he walked.
She quivered against him as, supported in his arms, she succumbed completely to sensation. He paused every few paces to emphasise his possession, his hands gently rocking her against him. At one point he stopped, leaning her back against the wall, and thrust harder into her, his actions fuelled by her broken whispers.
Finally they were in his bedroom. Despite him carrying her, him doing all the work, she was breathless, crying as unbearable ecstasy shattered her once more. ‘I can’t take any any more.’
He lay her down and the full weight of him came onto her. ‘But, Amanda, this is just the beginning.’
Chapter Nine
SHE should go. But before Amanda had even moved Jared’s hand encircled her wrist.
‘Stay with me.’
Her heart pounded—stay? ‘I’m—’
‘Stay the night.’
Oh. Of course—just for now, not for ever. She dropped back to reality.
‘Do you have your pill with you?’
She gave him a cold look.
‘Family isn’t on my agenda, Amanda.’ He didn’t apologise. ‘Never will be.’ He rolled half onto her, stopping her sliding along the bed away from him. ‘There is no such thing as happy ever after.’
She knew what he was doing. Warning her not to build fantasies he had no desire—or even ability—to fulfil. Laying down the law according to Jared.
‘Don’t you think?’ she asked, wistful—wishing he were wrong. ‘I think it’s possible. I like to think that my parents would have been happy together had they lived. And Grandfather was devoted to the memory of Grandma.’
‘Easy to be devoted when the other person is dead.’
‘That’s an awful thing to say.’
‘Yeah. It is an awful thing to say. But that doesn’t stop the fact that it’s true. People live together, they get sick of each other. They either decide to put up with each other or they move on.’
‘That’s not true.’ She shook her head. ‘Most marriages work because the couples are happy. It’s not sufferance. It’s friendship. Support. Love.’
‘You’re such a romantic, Amanda.’ The way he said it wasn’t a compliment. ‘Why on earth did you throw away your precious virginity on a non-believer like me?’
‘I didn’t view my virginity like that.’ She hadn’t had much choice. He was the only man to turn her on—unfortunately he was a rogue. ‘That was just sex.’
And that was the way she had to view this—and embrace her decision to enjoy it while it lasted. She would make the most of it, because it wasn’t going to be for ever. He couldn’t be clearer on that.
He looked sardonic. ‘Doesn’t sex come into your equation for a happy marriage?’
‘Of course it’s important. But it’s not everything. There are other ingredients just as important.’
‘Wrong.’ He laughed. ‘It’s the most important bit, honey. If they’re not fulfilled they’ll eventually go shopping elsewhere.’
‘You are the most cynical man there is.’
‘Not at all. I’m a realist and you’re as naive as the day you turned sixteen. It just goes to prove that I wasn’t the man for you then and I’m not the man for you now. I’ll never be the man for you.’
She tried to keep her muscles relaxed despite the spreading freeze inside. ‘You’re the man you want to be.’
He shook his head. ‘You’re the person your life makes you.’
‘No,’ she said. ‘Not you. If that were the case you should be down and out in the gutter. You broke the mould. You got out of the cycle. Statistically you should have been thrown out of school and been in and out of jail three times before you were twenty.’ She swept her arms round him, stopping him slipping from her. ‘Come on, Jared. How many different primary schools did you go to? Five? One a year or more? You had a mother who walked out, a drunk father. What chance were you supposed to have? If you’d let your life “make you” all those bad experiences and knock-backs would have made you like him.’
His face had turned to stone and she could feel his muscles flexing. She carried on regardless.
‘But you didn’t. You chose, Jared. You chose to work as hard as you did. To fight. To make a better life for yourself. You choose not to drink. You choose to work for prosperity. You choose to be the man you are.’
‘It’s not as simple as that,’ he said flatly, hands harder, pressing heavier onto her. ‘I had help. I had opportunities along the way. Not everybody gets them like I did. It wasn’t all doom and gloom and drama.’
