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He thought of her all those years ago, sitting up in his bed, thinking he’d be thrilled to see her there in a black lace negligee. How many times had he wondered what it might have been like if he’d taken her up on her offer? Never had he imagined it would be like the nuclear bomb that had just exploded in his office.
And, man, the fallout was something else.
He was deeply, bitterly angry. Mostly with himself. He’d been wrong. Jared hated being wrong. Nothing was as it seemed—not concerning Amanda.
He’d thought she’d have done it years ago. Gone and found some other willing stud as she’d threatened. But she hadn’t. Why hadn’t she? God, she was so gorgeous, surely they’d be beating down her door…
And nor was she living the life of luxury he’d always imagined she would. In reality she was working hard to keep her precarious job, living in a total dive in a crap part of town with a bunch of transients, and then she’d let him take her virginity in a bout of out-of-control, angry sex.
What the hell was going on?
He thought back to that long-ago night once more, tried to focus on her face. He’d been too shocked to see it then, but he knew now how nervous she must have been. Nervous enough to swallow too much of her grandfather’s brandy. She’d been foolish—spoilt for sure and impetuous. Naive. And now, he saw, rather sweet. She must have really wanted him—had she actually had deeper feelings?
No. Not possible. It was physical. It had to have been just physical. It always was, right?
But never to have been with another? He couldn’t believe that the young woman who’d so brazenly offered herself to him had never let some other guy come close.
He went hot and cold at the thought of that moment. He’d hurt her and he hated himself for that and he hated her for putting him in that unwitting position. She should have damn well told him. God, how could he have gone from the best experience in his life to the worst and back again in just a few minutes?
Jared lifted his foot from the accelerator, realising he’d just shot way over the speed limit. Bitterness brewed in his blood again. He knew he was attractive to women. Even back when he’d been young and worthless with no family, no money and no obvious prospects, he’d been approached and enticed.
But wasn’t it all they wanted from him? It was certainly all he offered. A relationship—commitment—was never something he considered. He didn’t have the will or the skill for that.
He’d thought Amanda had been the spoilt young girl going for the boy from the wrong side of the tracks—attracted by the rebel cliché and her hormones had liked the muscles. Lots of women liked them. Even more women liked money. Jared knew this now too. But what did she really want? She’d been a virgin, for heaven’s sake. She sure as hell better not want a wedding and white picket fences because that wasn’t ever going to be his scene.
He’d have to stay away. The situation had totally nosedived. Messing around with someone so inexperienced wasn’t his scene either. Not if there were going to be the kind of expectations that made his blood run cold.
But instead his body burned inside out again as need shot through him and he battled with how realistic that determination was. Because of what he wanted to do to her…what he ached to do…
He pulled his car over to the side of the road and stared at the zero on his speedometer. He had to admit it. The drive to have her overpowered his instinct to reject and run. Staying away was not a viable option.
But he was not going to be caught in her spell a second time. He was not going to spend long lonely nights dreaming of her again. He was not going to lose control.
He turned the car around and headed back to the city. Any idea of keeping things on a purely professional footing was long gone. But whatever happened next between them had to be on his terms.
Chapter Eight
THE residual ache between Amanda’s legs wasn’t going away. But it wasn’t damage from the initiation she’d had. Oh, no. It was the desire for more. Her appetite had been whetted. She’d tasted. And now she yearned—hunger yawning wide deep within. And all she could think of were ways in which he could fill it. Finally aware of all she’d been missing out on, she was reduced to a sex-starved female fantasising her life away.
She dragged herself to work, dreading facing the others. They’d be wondering what the hell had happened yesterday.
‘Are you feeling OK?’ Bronwyn was on her the minute she stuck her head in the door. ‘Jared phoned yesterday and said you’d come down with a migraine at the meeting.’
Migraine. Was that what you called it? Amanda nodded dully. ‘I’m so sorry I—’
