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‘You would not expose me?’ She had gone bone-white, whiter even than when she had told him about the baby. The possibility of scandal seemed to terrify her.
Will shrugged.
‘No, of course not. I am not attempting to blackmail you. But if you cannot be truly my wife, then we will have to end this marriage somehow for both our sakes. Coming back from the dead rearranges one’s priorities somewhat. You’d be amazed what I find utterly unimportant now. What I do find important, what I have always, is that we have the truth between us. I will not be deceived and lied to, Julia. I grew up in a household of lies and deceptions and I’ll not stand for it now. I cannot live like that and I certainly cannot bring up children in that atmosphere.’
Chapter Eleven
They stared at each other and gradually Julia found she could focus and move from blind panic to actually listening to what they were saying to each other. Will thought she was going to try to keep him from her bed and that was never what she had intended.
Julia swallowed hard. ‘I have no intention of being other than a proper wife to you, if you will have me. I just needed a little time to come to terms with it, that is all. I am sorry if you cannot believe me about the elopement, but it was the truth.’
If only she could understand the roiling mix of emotions inside her. Over all of it was the terror that a public scandal would expose her and that she would be arrested for Jonathan’s murder. Below that, like fish swimming in muddy water, were layers of other feelings. There was fear of the intimacy, of being hurt again, physically and mentally. And there was the attraction she felt for Will, due, she supposed, to him being such an attractive man. But if she became pregnant again, what would happen? Could she carry the child safely? If she lost another… Her mind shied away from the thought because it was simply too painful to think about.
But she had her duty to her husband and she owed Will a great deal. If it had not been for him, goodness knows what would have become of her three years ago. The fear and the pain and the doubt she would somehow have to overcome.
He was studying her with those dangerous amber eyes. ‘It was a shock,’ he said eventually. ‘If it had not been for the baby, would you have told me about your lover?’
‘I do not know,’ Julia confessed. ‘Would you have been able to tell?’
‘Possibly,’ Will said with a wry smile. ‘Probably.’
‘Shall we…I mean, do you want to…?’ How difficult it was! To want something and yet to be so frightened of it.
‘Yes, I want to,’ he said. ‘If you are sure.’
Julia nodded and walked before him, back to her bedchamber. She turned when she reached the bed and watched her husband as he closed the door and came towards her.
Courage. Seduce him. Oh, who do you think you are fooling? You could not seduce anyone to save your life. No, don’t think that…
One glance at those skintight breeches told her that her husband did not need much encouragement. Of course, he had been without a woman for a long time, which would explain it. But she wanted him to want her, not just any woman to slake his desires with.
What would he expect her to do now? Jonathan had simply ripped off his clothes, then her clothes, tossed her on to the bed and threw himself down beside her.
Will pulled the shirt over his head, dropped it at his feet, flipped back the covers and waited courteously for her to get into bed. ‘Now that is a very piquant contrast,’ he said as he stood and studied her. ‘All that prim white cotton tight around your legs and all that slipping lace up above.’
Julia looked down. Her nervous shifting about had wrapped the nightgown around her legs. Then she looked up at Will. Looked properly and felt dizzy. When she had met him on the bridge that night and had held him in her arms she had felt nothing but skin and bone. Now she was contemplating muscle as defined as that on any classical sculpture of an athlete. Only this was not cold white marble, this was golden tanned skin, a dusting of dark-brown hair, the blue of veins, the nipples so much darker than her own.
Jonathan’s body had not made that much impression on her, she realised. When he had first undressed it had all been so fast she had no time to look at him and afterwards… Afterwards she seemed to recall thinking that he was beautiful. But not with the emotions that looking at this man produced. Better not to think about Jonathan.
It was hard to think about any other man clearly at all with this one so close and so nearly naked.
‘I am all in favour of piquancy,’ she managed, her gaze fixed firmly on his chest and the curls of crisp dark-brown hair.
‘Good,’ Will murmured, ‘because I am intending to leave you nicely wrapped up for a while.’ And while she tried to work out what that meant he slipped open the fastening of his breeches, slid them down his legs and kicked them away. Underneath he was quite naked. And quite magnificently aroused.
Will lay down on his side on the sheet, his body touching hot down the length of her. He propped himself up on one elbow so they were eye to eye, reached out, tugged one of the pillows away and followed her down when she fell back with a little gasp of surprise.
A gasp that left her mouth open, Julia realised as Will leant in and kissed her, his mouth warm and moist and tasting of brandy. The move had been assured and predatory and she found both amazingly arousing.
She had learned from that morning’s kiss and had learned, too, what she liked. If she tangled her tongue with his then Will thrust more deeply, if she closed her lips a little then he would nip and nibble at them. She tried nibbling in return and felt his mouth curve in response. He likes that. She tried a little nip and was rewarded by a growl deep in his throat.
That was encouraging, she thought. He no longer seemed shocked or angry with her. But what now? Jonathan had been fast, and, she was beginning to realise as Will nibbled down the line of her jaw and sucked gently at the base of her throat with leisurely relish, not at all subtle.
She should be doing something seductive, but it was difficult when she was not at all sure what that involved and when her legs were restricted by her twisted nightgown and Will’s arm was effectively pinning hers to the bed.
Julia moaned in frustration and arched up to try to free herself, squashing her breasts against Will, who was nuzzling into her cleavage. The effect was startling. He growled, twisted, seized the collar of her nightgown, ripped it clean down to her waist, then spread the two halves open and stared down at her.
Was something wrong? Why was he looking at her like that? It was her figure, that was it. She was no longer fresh and young and virginal… Just when she could not stand the suspense any longer he bent his head and licked, lavishly, slowly, over her right nipple. And then the left. And back. They went hard and tight and he caught first one, then the other in his teeth and Julia sobbed, arching again, wanting more. He increased the pressure until it was a tiny stab of pain that arrowed into her belly and became something else entirely: heat and weight and need. Then he licked again while his hand took hold of the torn edge of her nightgown and yanked down hard and it tore as far as her knees.
