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“I know someone, or at least I did, in the CIA,” I add. “Her name is Cara, and she used to date my brother.” Before my mission, I left thinking that Nate and Cara would be headed toward the altar and may even beat Ryley and me. Now I think his relationship with her was just a front to hide his feelings toward Ryley. “I’ll have to tread lightly where she’s concerned though. I don’t know how she and Nate ended.”
The guys all nod in agreement as we delve right back into the uncomfortable silence. That seems to be our norm. We sit and think about the shit storm our lives have become. There isn’t a real use in talking about it because we don’t have answers.
Before long, Frannie is at our table. She sits next to me, offering me comfort. The talk turns to sports and the weather. We don’t say much in front of Frannie, but we know that River has been talking to her. I’d be doing the same thing if I had Ryley. Never have I felt the need to talk about a mission before. I’d never break my oath, but I have a feeling if I don’t talk about it or write it down, facts are going to get lost or forgotten. I, for one, can’t afford to forget anything.
“Dinner tomorrow night at our house,” Frannie announces with such enthusiasm that McCoy and Rask agree immediately. “We’ll barbeque and maybe get a little surfing in if the waves are good and with Rask’s parents arriving, it will be a nice neutral ground.”
“Sounds good,” I say, even though she knows I’ll be there regardless. I don’t have any other place to go and staying on base right now is bringing me down.
It doesn’t take long for McCoy to leave. He has business to tend to and he won’t say anything in front of Frannie. Rask follows shortly after, stating that with his parents arriving, he needs some sleep. We know that’s not true, but we’re not about to argue.
“Ryley Clarke, I haven’t seen you in here in a long time. Glad to see you, sweetheart.” My head pops up at Rick’s voice calling out Ryley’s name. This is the first time I’ve seen her in here since we came back, and the fact that she’s only a few feet away from me causes my heart to go into palpations. I finish off my beer and am about to pour another glass when Frannie stops me.
“Keep your wits about you, Archer. Maybe she’s here to talk. I can tell you that once we got the news she stopped coming here, so this is a big step for her.”
Frannie’s confession throws me for a six. She just confirmed what I’ve been meaning to ask her all week – she and Ryley stayed in contact. My elation of that fact quickly dissipates when I realize that Frannie would have also known about Nate.
I set down my glass to appease Frannie’s suggestion. The last thing I want is to make Ryley uncomfortable or be too intoxicated if I speak to her, because I’m really hoping that, by the way she’s staring at me, she intends to come over.
My hopes are quickly met when she heads in our direction. Frannie stands and greets her with a long hug. I’m jealous, but grateful that they have each other. Ryley hugs River next and I know it’s too much to hope that I’ll get a hug, so I don’t stand to greet her and that pains me.
I try not to look too shocked when the old wooden chair next to me is pulled out. The scraping on the ground as she scoots forward is what gets my attention. There are four other seats and she took the one next to me. I have to sit on my hand to keep myself from reaching out and touching her. The world is a cruel place right now. I can’t be who I am with her because of the hand we’ve been dealt. As much as I love having her next to me, she has to remember that nothing has changed for me. It’s taking every bit of will power that I have to not pull her into my side. Her body is angled toward me as if it knows that I’m slowly dying on the inside.
“Hi, it’s really good to see you, River. Frannie you look so happy.” Not only does she not say hi to me, she tells River it’s good to see him. What am I? Chopped liver? Do I stink or something?
“Tomorrow night at our house, we’re having a barbeque, you should come.” If I could kiss Frannie, I would right now.
“That’d be great, but I think we’re going to head to Sacramento.”
Frannie nods, but Ryley’s statement leaves me confused.
“What’s in Sacramento?”
Ryley clears her throat and starts picking apart a paper napkin. “Your mom and Livvie still live there. I thought that we could take EJ up and stay for a night or two.”
“What?” my voice cracks with desperation and excitement. This whole week I’ve only seen glimpses of my son and have yet to meet him. I understand Ryley’s hesitation, but dammit if I don’t want to hold my boy. As much as I need to see my mom and sister, I’d much rather take the time to get to know my son and figure out a way to get my girl back. I can always call my mom.
“Oh, Ryley, that’s a wonderful idea.” I look at Frannie, who’s nodding and River who is looking at me. I chance a glance at Ryley and see that her eyes are damp with unshed tears.
Ryley meets my gaze and smiles. “I don’t know what I’m going to tell EJ, Evan, but I’m going to do it tonight. I can’t keep this bottled up any longer.”
I nod slowly, unable to find my voice.
“Would you like me there?” Frannie asks, again making me feel better that she and Ryley remained friends.
“No,” she says with a small smile. “I think I’ll be okay.”
I have to excuse myself immediately for fear of a colossal breakdown and something like that can’t happen in Magoo’s. River follows me, as I expected him to, into the men’s room.
I clutch the sink and stare at my reflection in the decades-old mirror.
“Everything’s going to be fine,” River says, standing next to me.
“I’m nervous. What if he doesn’t like me?”
He shakes his head. “From what I’ve learned, there’s a mural of you in his room, something one of Ryley’s friends did. Frannie has spoken so much about EJ and how great a kid he is, I think you’re going to find out you have nothing to worry about.”
“Except total rejection from my son.”
