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Okay, fine. Maybe a couple of seconds. I can’t turn off my feelings for him that quick.
He smells like Jackson and a hint of sweat. His body is lean and even more muscular, I swear. And when I feel his lips press against my forehead in a sweet, chaste kiss, I pull out of his arms quickly, not wanting his mouth on me after he kissed Brit—the sexier, far more experienced groupie.
Ugh, I hate him. I’m in love with him, yet I can’t stand him right now.
“I’m so glad you came,” he says, seemingly clueless to my distress. “Did you like the last song?”
“Yes,” I bite out, and that’s all I can say. If I part my lips again, I might let forth a stream of curses and bitter words just for him.
Why are men so oblivious?
He smiles, his expression tender. Just like it always is when he deals with me. “I’m glad. You know I wrote it for—”
“We need to get going, don’t we, Eli?” Ava asks in an extra loud voice, purposely interrupting Jackson. “We have to finish setting up for your party. You’re still coming to the party right, Jackson?”
“Definitely. For sure.” He nods enthusiastically, ignoring her dark tone. It’s so obvious she’s disgusted with him, but he’s not acknowledging it. “Give me some time though. I need to wrap up a few things here first before I can leave.”
His gaze slides to Brit for the briefest second and I want to die.
I know what he’s going to wrap up. Whatever he started with Brit. I’m sure he’ll have sex with her in this skeezy dressing room that’s probably seen plenty of action in the past. At the very least, he’ll get a blowjob from her.
God. I’m so desperate to leave, I can feel my entire body vibrating with the need to run. Just run and never look back.
“Okay, well take your time—oof.” Eli glares at Ava, who just jabbed him with her pointy elbow. “Yeah, just get back to the apartment as soon as possible okay, bro? We can’t really party until the guest of honor is with us.”
“Yeah. I’ll head over there in a few. Thanks again for coming tonight.” Jackson’s dark blue gaze meets mine and I stare back, letting my fury be known. But it’s as if it flies straight over his head. He doesn’t see it.
How does he not see it?
Oh, I know. He just doesn’t see everything else I throw his way. My undying love and devotion—he’s never noticed that. My endearing friendship? Nope, doesn’t realize that either. I’ve given him hours and hours of my time. I think about him every single day, worried, happy, curious, yearning. All of the emotions, they hit me when it comes to Jackson.
Yet he doesn’t think about me at all. Not at all.
Wait. I take that back. He does think about me. As his friend. As the one girl who’s always just sitting there, waiting to lap up whatever scraps he tosses my way.
Well, I’m done. I can’t be that girl any longer.
Jackson Rivers is dead to me.
And I mean it this time.
Three
Jackson
I fucked up.
When do I not fuck up when it comes to Ellie? It’s almost as if I want to get caught. Maybe I do. I’m not good enough for her. I never have been. She’s just so damn sweet, always there, always willing to talk to me, give me advice, encourage me when I need it the most. And I need that support a lot.
Deep down, I’m an insecure asshole who’s scared to take it to the next step with the pretty girl who’s been waiting in the wings for me to get off my ass and actually do something for far too long. And what happens? I start kissing some rando woman I don’t know and I get caught.
By Ellie.
If looks could kill, I’d be dead thanks to the glare Ava’s shooting my way as Eli grabs her arm and escorts her out of the dressing room. Always protective of her best friend. Gotta love that. Eli knows I got busted and I see the sympathy there in his eyes, though he’d never say anything in front of Ava and Ellie.
He’s not stupid.
All of my friends are currently looking at me as if I’ve lost my damn mind, which maybe I have. Well, with the exception of Caleb, who grins and flashes me two thumbs up as he nods in Brit’s direction before Diego shoves him.
