AllFreeNovel
Share Us
He swallows his food down before he says, “I think you need to make a move, son.”
My brows shoot up. I expected some long, thoughtful observation, which is Tony’s normal style. “On Ellie?”
“No, on some other random girl. Yes, of course on Ellie. Haven’t you wasted enough time? She’s been patiently waiting for you, and when you finally realize you might have feelings for her, you toy with her for a little bit, and then you back way off.” He shakes his head, setting down his sandwich. “I know it’s some scary shit, committing yourself to one girl, but you can do this. It’s not so bad. It’s actually pretty fucking amazing when you find the right one.”
I contemplate the two of them. My two closest friends who have girlfriends. Who are perfectly happy being with just one woman. One is so over the top in love with his girl, he acts the fool over her most of the time. And the other one is calm and cool, and only ever seems truly happy when she’s in his presence.
That wouldn’t be so bad, right? Why am I being such a dumbass about this?
“Because you’re afraid to love,” Tony says, as if he can read my mind.
Or maybe I said that last part out loud. Yeah, that must’ve been it.
My mind drifts to Diego, the most committed one of all. He has a kid for the love of God, and he’s happy. Perfectly content playing house with Jocelyn and their baby girl. That is some overwhelming shit right there, but he’s never questioned it. Was never tempted to back out either. He wanted it. Wanted her and the life they now have. He seems happy too.
“I’m not afraid to love,” I scoff, leaning away from the table. My appetite evaporates. Actually, my stomach is twisted in knots, and that can’t be good. “I just see no reason to tie myself down at this age.”
“You won’t look at it as tying yourself down if you actually fall in love with her,” Eli says, sounding logical for once in his damn l
ife. “Look, I’m ridiculous when it comes to Ava. I love that girl more than anyone else in the world, and it’s killing me that we’re not living in the same area code right now, but I fucking love her. And I will do whatever it takes to keep loving her, even if we’re apart. It sucks, but she’s worth it.”
Ellie comes into view, striding across the restaurant with purpose, her gaze going to our table every few seconds. Enough times that our gazes finally snag. Catch. She smiles at me, heading toward the back of the restaurant and, without thought, I rise to my feet.
And follow after her.
My steps determined, I’m directly behind her in seconds. Close enough that I can reach out and touch her.
So I do.
She whirls on me, my fingers still clasped loosely around the crook of her elbow. She tilts her head back, her expression neutral, reminding me of a queen.
“If you’re mad at me, I can’t get into an argument with you right now, Jackson. I’m on the clock,” she says haughtily.
Huh, so now she’s mad too? Okay, I can play this game.
“I don’t want to argue,” I say, which is the truth. “I just want to know something.”
“Oh.” She seems surprised. “What do you want to know?”
“Is it true? You went on a date with Carson?” I keep my voice level. Calm. Inside, I’m anything but. My thoughts, my emotions are in chaos. Just having her this close, barely touching her, is sending me into a tailspin.
A sigh leaves her and she drops her head, staring at her feet. I wait for her to say something, the blood roaring in my ears, drowning out all other sounds. She is taking way too long to answer a simple question.
“Yes,” she tells her feet. “I couldn’t put him off forever, waiting for you to make a move. So I went out with him.”
She was putting him off for me? Yeah right. “How was it?”
She shrugs one shoulder but says nothing.
I crowd her, until her back is against the wall and I’ve got my hand braced above her head, leaning into her, my other hand playing with the end of one of her braids. “How was it?” I repeat. “Did you enjoy yourself?”
“The movie was good,” she whispers.
“Did he touch you?” I have no business asking her this. What does it matter if he touched her? She’s not mine.
Yeah, the little voice inside my head says. Keep telling yourself that.
“He held my hand afterward,” she admits, her voice soft. “When we walked through the parking lot to his car.”
