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“Great,” Ronald nodded with his hands on his hips. “Can we kiss and make up now? I think we’re scaring your girlfriend.”
Logan’s eyes shifted to the ground and he shook his head. “She’s just my neighbor.”
I wasn’t stupid. I knew that one night together didn’t mean we were in a relationship, but I thought I was more than just a neighbor. Or, I thought I was more than just a friend. But the fact that Logan couldn’t even look at me spoke volumes about where we stood with each other.
I suddenly felt uncomfortable and wanted to get out of there as fast as possible. I wasn’t sure if it was because Ronald referred to me as Logan’s girlfriend or if it was Logan’s lack of response, but I wanted to go home. Not upstairs to his bed, but home. My home with my things and sleeping in my bed. The fact that he didn’t even have the decency to look at me made me feel unwanted, and I hated that it hurt me so much.
“I’m not his girlfriend.” I laughed and then stood, reaching out to shake his hand with a fake smile plastered on my face. “Mr. Hart, it was so nice to meet you. I need to head upstairs and pack my things, though. Enjoy the rest of your day.”
“Enjoy the rest of your day, Juliette,” he responded and nodded, flashing a handsome smile.
I took the stairs two at a time, ignoring the twinge in my heart as I moved around the room, throwing clothes into my bag. Of course I wasn’t Logan’s girlfriend. I wasn’t dumb enough to think that I was, but I thought we were turning into something. I was sure it had something to do with Nicole, but until he got that figured out I was going to stay away, give him his space to figure things out.
Maybe it would be good to get some space. Not breathing the same oxygen as Logan would help me get my bearings and give me some perspective. It was painfully obvious that I was getting too wrapped up in what happened last night. I wasn’t a lovesick teenager but an adult who didn’t get wrapped up in a man because of sex.
Even if the sex was out of this world.
I zipped up my duffel bag and then looked down, realizing that I was still wearing his shirt. I quickly whipped it over my head and tossed it on the unmade bed, shrugging into a sweatshirt.
I was lacing up my boots when I felt Logan’s presence in the room. Not looking up, I said, “So, I’m gonna head out. I’m sure you have a lot to do and I have to be up early tomorrow for work.”
He didn’t respond and I finally looked up, peeking at him through my lashes. His face was impassive, expressionless as he stood with his hands in his pockets. I didn’t like the empty look on his face and wished there was something I could do, but I didn’t know what he wanted. I felt like we were in limbo and it made me wonder what that meant for us as friends. Or lovers. Or something else entirely.
“I thought we agreed that you would stay until all of this was over.”
Me, too. But plans change, I thought to myself and stood. “I think it’s for the best if I go home. We don’t want things to get… complicated.” I gestured between us.
I turned and grabbed my bag, my grip tightening on the straps as he walked up behind me, warmth radiating from him and seeping through my shirt. Logan pressed his forehead against my shoulder, his breath on my neck. “It was a kneejerk reaction. I’m sorry.”
I didn’t want him to be sorry. Hell, I didn’t even want him to feel bad. But it hurt that he was so quick to respond, almost like he was afraid.
Shit. Was he? Was it fear that caused him to respond the way he did? I didn’t want Logan to feel obligated to do or say anything he didn’t feel comfortable with, and I sure as hell didn’t want him to think that I was an all or nothing kind of woman. This whole thing was just as new for me as it was for him and I was still confused about my own feelings.
I was growing attached. Quickly. I cared if his RA was acting up and cared if he had dinner or not. I cared if he was stressed or upset. I cared in a way that was more than a friend and it was scaring the ever loving shit out of me.
“I’m not mad at you,” I finally responded and turned around, feeling his arms wrap around my waist as he held me against him. “I don’t want you to be sorry. I was just a little caught off guard.”
“I know, and I didn’t mean for that to happen. He just…”
“Said the word girlfriend and you felt like your balls were in a vise grip?”
Logan laughed really hard and then pressed his lips to my forehead, still chuckling as we swayed from side to side. I was starting to think that was a thing for us; our weird little dance was something that only the two of us shared.
“Look,” I said as I slid my hands up his arms. “I don’t need you to call me your girlfriend or your fuck buddy or your wife. I just want to know that I’m something, Logan. Maybe a little more than just your neighbor.”
He was nodding before I even finished my sentence. “There’s just a lot going on, especially now with Nicole coming back and fucking everything up. But I promise you are more than that, J. After all of this is said and done I’m gonna wine and dine you so good, it’ll knock your socks off.”
I laughed and nodded before looking over my shoulder at my packed bag. “I should go, though. You have some things to figure out and I’m so behind on things at work. Rose is going to kick my ass tomorrow if I don’t go through the list of adoption papers tonight.”
It was obvious that he wanted to say something, but instead he kept his mouth shut and nodded before reaching around and taking my bag. “Fine, then at least let me walk you home. Now that Nicole’s back, I have a feeling Conlon and his buddies won’t be sniffing around here. At leas
t for the time being. But I need to get in touch with her and see where the fuck her mind’s at.”
We walked back to my house hand in hand with Sadie trotting along in front of us. Logan seemed quiet, reserved, and I couldn’t help but feel bad that he had so much going through his head. I was worried about both his physical and mental strength and made sure he knew to call or text if he needed anything.
Something bad was coming. I felt it and I had a feeling Logan felt it, too. The air was cold and we were in the dead of winter with Christmas fast approaching. But nothing about the holidays felt happy. No, a storm was coming and unless we put a stop to all of this we’d all be ruined.
THE NEXT TWO days I was slammed at work, and it was more than adoption applications. Something was wrong with the heating vents in the barn and two of my dogs were in the vet’s office because of a nasty case of fleas, which meant that I had to check the other dogs for fleas three times a day and scrub each kennel, as well as order two new dog beds and still make sure each of the dogs had some outdoor time, even with all of the snow on the ground.
