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“Fucking hell,” he said. “I don’t want to be in this position.”
“You’re the only one brave enough to step up,” Nessa said.
“She’s right,” Sam said. “Brody, you know I’m not some traitor. I love my family. The Valentinos don’t have to be our enemies anymore.”
I could see it working. His face twisted, like he was trying to rectify two conflicting ideas in his head. I almost felt sorry for the guy as he struggled to put all this together and form a coherent worldview. The leader he followed, maybe the leader he worshiped, had been lying to them this whole time. His friends, his family, they were dying for Colm, and for nothing.
That pissed him off. But the idea of going behind Colm’s back must’ve been just as horrifying.
“What assurances do I get?” Brody asked. “If I help you, what do I get?”
“Whatever you want,” I said. “If it’s money, we have money. If it’s promises of safety, I can promise we’ll do our best. All I ask is for Colm, and when Colm’s gone, for the rest of the family to listen instead of going for revenge.”
Brody drummed his fingers. “I know other guys are tired,” he said after a short pause. “They’re sick of fighting. Money’s bad and business is worse because of the war. We were better off before this all started.”
“We were too,” I agreed.
“I’ll talk to people,” he said. “No promises, but I’ll talk to them, and maybe we can get you Colm. But maybe not.”
“All I ask is that you try.”
“I’ll talk to Nessa,” Brody said. “She’ll go between us.”
“Wait,” Sam said. “Maybe you can just talk directly to me?”
“No,” Brody said. “Too obvious. I talk to Nessa and nobody else.”
Nessa held up her hands. “It’s okay,” she said. “I can handle it.”
Sam sat back, arms crossed, looking annoyed. I sighed and nodded.
“All right,” I said. “You talk to Nessa and pass information through her. I get you don’t like me, Brody, and I don’t like you, either. But if we’re going to end this war, we have to work together.”
Brody grunted, face tensing again as he took a deep breath and let it out. “My little cousin got shot in the head two months back,” he said, staring at his hands. “He was seventeen years old, you know? Just a fucking kid playing at being a gangster. He died for this war. He died thinking it was right. And now I know it was all bullshit.” Brody looked at Nessa. “Carson was a nice kid, right? He was a good fucking kid.”
“Real good kid,” Nessa said, nodding, blinking back tears. “Good at basketball. Real funny too.”
“Hilarious,” Brody said angrily. “And now he’s fucking dead.”
“We’ll save the rest of them,” Sam said. “I promise, Brody. I remember Carson too. He didn’t deserve what he got.”
Brody stared at me and there was a fire in his gaze. He hated me, that much was obvious, but he hated his family even more for letting his cousin get killed. I wondered how many more guys in the Healy family felt the same, how many more were bitter over losing loved ones and best friends, how many more were willing to turn on their leader.
“We’ll talk,” Brody said, and shifted toward Nessa. She backed out and let him past. He stood up, stared at me for a second, then shook his head. “Fucking Valentino,” he said, then left.
Nessa sat back down heavily. “That went better than I thought,” she said.
“He’s angry,” I said, watching him walk out the door. “Misses his cousin. It’s fucked up that it has to come to this.”
“But we’ll end it,” Sam said, touching my arm, then looked back at Nessa. “I’m sorry you’re still involved.”
Nessa waved a hand. “It’s fine. I didn’t plan on walking away until it was all over. So hey, while we’re here, let’s get a drink and toast to Carson and everyone else we’ve lost.”
“Works for me,” Sam said.
“I’ll get the drinks,” I said. “Whiskey all around?”
Nessa laughed and gave me her real drink order. I walked to the bar, but looked back at the two of them, leaning toward each other and talking in low voices. They’d lost so much—all of them had. So many broken, traumatized families, struggling to hold themselves together in the wake of this damned war.
And in the midst of it, I had one reason, one glimmering, perfect reason to keep going. Sam smiled and laughed at something Nessa said, and I felt a blooming in my chest, a flowering, aching need, and I knew I’d give anything to that girl, anything she wanted and more.
16
Sam
The days dragged past. I could pretend like it was hard living in that big mansion with Matteo, but honestly, I almost forgot that we were supposed to be at war. Nessa and Brody were doing the real hard work while I got to lounge around outside by the pool.
